Things you wish you could say to your boss, but never would

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We know you are well intentioned and generally a good person.

Or at least we all thought that was true.

Lately, your decisions and treatment of your team are so terrible that we can’t figure out if we were wrong all along or if you might have early onset dementia. Or are you having a psychotic break? Are you on drugs? We genuinely have these conversations on our team. No one can figure out what’s happened to you.

We also notice you can’t travel without your spouse and that you don’t drive.

Oh. That’s easy: DUI. Possibly with cheating, but not necessarily.

[Anonymous]

Can you please pay attention to the things you’re supposed to manage and not just the things that interest you?

Please stop repeating or rephrasing what I say immediately after I say it in meetings; I don’t need a translator. I know you like to talk but it makes me look like what came out of my mouth is less important than what you said.

Please involve me as much as you involve the guy in another department who is at my level but not really supposed to be leading the work; I am.

[Anonymous]

I’m in love with you

[Anonymous]

I’m completely in love with you but we’re both married with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is not harassment if I want it, do let's do it!

This would be mine. Truly - no talking necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is not harassment if I want it, do let's do it!

This would be mine. Truly - no talking necessary.

Lol mine too. I’m just ridiculously, insanely attracted to him on every level but can’t do it bc we’re both married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you were ever given the opportunity to learn how to manage effectively. So a lot of this isn’t your fault.

1. It’s ok to say “thank you” and “good job” to your team. You don’t even need to do anything else to start; just “good job” and “thanks”.

2. Yelling at employees is inappropriate, and it would be more effective to have a 1:1 conversation with the person who isn’t performing than to call a staff meeting to yell at the whole team, or send an angry all-staff email with the exclamation point.

2B. The exclamation point feature should be used extremely sparingly. Like maybe once a quarter at most.

3. Normally I roll my eyes at team building, but I have never experienced such a low-energy, non-cohesive group of people until I started here. Everyone seems miserable, and scared, and while not unfriendly, no one is working towards a common goal because I don’t think there is a common goal.

+1

I think we work at the same place.

Not to mention, there are too many people "managing" people - who don't know the first thing about managing anything, at all. Why are you getting paid to manage when you don't manage??

So many people conveniently checked out and not doing their job, while other schmucks are made to do things they were not hired for (and definitely not told they were hired for) - and most of you pretend to be blissfully unaware, because it suits YOU. Most of those who WFH are laughable, while you use the ones who come into the office as mules. So many people in positions that they have no business being in (hence the pretend to be blissfully unaware).

So gross.

Wow that last paragraph describes my office almost exactly. Certain people end up as favorites and get special projects (common theme is brown-nosing the manager, not based on seniority by any means). When said project is over, they get all the recognition and awards. The rest of us who are not a favorite in the meantime have to absorb that person's regular workload, and of course no recognition. Makes for quite a toxic, dysfunctional environment with a lot of resentful people!

+1

PP here. Absolutely! The favorites are the brown nosers. So gross.

[Anonymous]

Since you asked, OP: "Eff you for not caring about anyone but yourself, not knowing the day to day, and instead of having a smidge of humility, trying to rule with an iron fist. You were nothing but lucky to get your position, but will be found out sooner than later. Oh, and you suck."

Well, that felt good.

[Anonymous]

You are the best boss I have ever had. You are smart, kind, and you can talk me down when I’m upset and get the most out of me. You’re an amazing dad, too, who is always there for your kids. I absolutely adore you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We know you are well intentioned and generally a good person.

Or at least we all thought that was true.

Lately, your decisions and treatment of your team are so terrible that we can’t figure out if we were wrong all along or if you might have early onset dementia. Or are you having a psychotic break? Are you on drugs? We genuinely have these conversations on our team. No one can figure out what’s happened to you.

We also notice you can’t travel without your spouse and that you don’t drive.

Oh. That’s easy: DUI. Possibly with cheating, but not necessarily.

And alcoholism explains the change in behavior, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We know you are well intentioned and generally a good person.

Or at least we all thought that was true.

Lately, your decisions and treatment of your team are so terrible that we can’t figure out if we were wrong all along or if you might have early onset dementia. Or are you having a psychotic break? Are you on drugs? We genuinely have these conversations on our team. No one can figure out what’s happened to you.

We also notice you can’t travel without your spouse and that you don’t drive.

Oh. That’s easy: DUI. Possibly with cheating, but not necessarily.

And alcoholism explains the change in behavior, too.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all joke about putting catnip in your pockets when you go on your African safari. Yes, even that guy who you think is your friend.

This is hilarious !

[Anonymous]

I see through your Christian, family man persona.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see through your Christian, family man persona.

x1000000

[Anonymous]

Go f*#k yourself!