Reasonable limit on communication with former emotional affair partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affair sounds made up and is amorphous and abstract enough to be totally different in the eye of the beholder. Unless there is planning to break up the existing marriage, sexting, or plans to meet up for sex, no rubicons have been crossed. If you react like it was a real affair, you risk pushing the partner into a real affair.

I’ve never understood it either.

An emotional affair is when two people have real chemistry and some heat and they will eventually have sex if they don’t cut off contact. They’re affair partners who haven’t had sex yet. They may even be in love. My ex was certainly in love with his emotional affair partner. They each had professed their love for the other. He stopped having anything to do with me so he could focus on her. He kept her a secret from me, but talked to her about me. When he wouldn’t talk to me about our marriage, he was talking to her about it.

When I discovered this relationship he had on the side, he tried to convince me that she was a valued friend and a good person (literally almost exactly the same language as OP), but really, he was just trying to keep his options open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the comments - all appreciated.
To answer key questions:
It was DH, not DW, who had the emotional affair. The "third party" was the "other woman" - the woman the DH had the emotional affair with. I'm not sure what acronym people here use for that person.

I know it might sound crazy but you can just use real words too.