Adult children arriving up to family parties with their parents & not bringing their own gifts—is this a new thing?

[Anonymous]

Totally normal OP, the young adults probably wouldn't even attend if their parents didn't encourage them to do so.

I don't think most young adults could attend all the gift grabs if they had to bring something. I never would have thought of taking them to task for it.

[Anonymous]

Uh oh, Aunt Pettypants is on the warpath today. Steer clear.

[Anonymous]

Very very normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they separately invited or on one "family" invite? Sounds like all on one if the parents RSVP. One family = 1 gift.

Right.

[Anonymous]

Sorry Aunt Betty, my parents made me come and congrats on your 3rd baby with your 2nd husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gauche to pay attention to what gifts other people are bringing, OP.

(1 +1 gross to care more about the gift grab than their presence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently I’ve noticed at family baby & bridal showers, weddings, milestone birthdays 25+ year old adult children being RVSP’ed by their parents, thinking their parents’ gift counts as theirs etc. This comes across as very immature, FYI!

What's even more immature is counting the gifts your guests are bringing, FYI!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently I’ve noticed at family baby & bridal showers, weddings, milestone birthdays 25+ year old adult children being RVSP’ed by their parents, thinking their parents’ gift counts as theirs etc. This comes across as very immature, FYI!

What's even more immature is counting the gifts your guests are bringing, FYI!

Haha, yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently I’ve noticed at family baby & bridal showers, weddings, milestone birthdays 25+ year old adult children being RVSP’ed by their parents, thinking their parents’ gift counts as theirs etc. This comes across as very immature, FYI!

What's even more immature is counting the gifts your guests are bringing, FYI!

Yes it is. For a while there were a lot of "Is ------ tacky?" posts.

Op, THIS is tacky!

[Anonymous]

What kind of adult has a “milestone birthday” and doesn’t request “no gifts”? And yes if my college DD comes to the shower I’m going to get one nicer gift and put both our names on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom hosts extended family reunions that I attend as a favor to her because I know she wants to show off the grandkids. I have exactly zero interest in attending these parties. When she also wants me to bring a dish, it grates on me. (I’m 43 years old, BTW). So if your younger cousins are coming to Aunt Gert’s birthday party as a favor to their own parent, I can see why they wouldn’t want to shop for a gift as well. From your phrasing (“coming up”) I’m assuming this is an out of town party for them.

Do you eat at these parties?

NP. Doesn’t matter. If you can’t feed your guests, don’t “host.” If someone *offers* to bring a dish or a beverage, by all means, take them up on the *offer.* But do not “host” an “event” and then expect your “guests” to provide the food and beverage.

Sorry you don’t make life’s rules. All families are different. The matriarch in our family is 85 and still wants to host events. However, it’s too much for her so we all contribute to setting up the table/arrangements, bringing food, cleaning up, etc. If all of the 20/30 something family members were bumps on a log, it would truly be hard to do. We have a very large family and are all happy to help, it’s tradition.

I assume there is good communication, and not just bitter and petty expectation followed by gossiping?