Birthday party question - would this surprise you?

[Anonymous]

I understand both sides.

I've planned parties where it's 6 girls and favors or activity items came in a pack of 6 and I'd have to scramble if the number changed shortly before the party.

That said, have we fallen so far as a society that favors and activities and instagramable parties are more important than friendship? Your kid is one of the bday kid's top 5 closest friends - I'd rather find a way to modify an activity or apologize over limited supplies than exclude a close friend because of a scheduling glitch. Especially for a teen, and not a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD was invited to a birthday party at a new-ish friend's house. All girls, not a sleepover, fairly small group (guest list was public.) My DD really wanted to go but we were visiting family that weekend that we very rarely see, so we politely declined and stated the reason. Now, our family canceled because they are all sick. I reached out to the mom to explain and see if there was any chance my DD could still come. After a day of silence she wrote back no, that she had already planned everything. I politely told her no worries and that I understood. But I totally don't understand! In the reverse situation we'd have been thrilled to have an invited guest be able to come at the last minute.

If this makes sense to you, could you help me understand? If its about party favors or something, my DD couldn't care less. I don't know the mom very well so can't ask her. My DD will get over it, but I'm still just stunned. There wasn't a deadline to RSVP and the evite is still active. What would she have done if I had just changed the RSVP to yes? I'm not going to obviously.

A smaller group allows for a more personalized party. Embroidered bath robes. Bringing in a nail tech to do manicures. Personalized water bottles. It would be annoying to have to scramble to pull those things together at the last minute.

+1 You say that your DD wouldn't mind but in the situation she might actually feel uncomfortable if in a small group she didn't have the same favors or activities as the other girls. It's also uncomfortable for the host.

[Anonymous]

This is not a big deal. You already declined. You handled it well asking her, but she has a right to tell you for whatever reason that does not work for her. Life is full of ups and downs, this is so small in the scheme of things.

[Anonymous]

A tween or teenager is all about their friends. Of course, the answer should have been, “We are so excited your plans changed and you can come. DD will be so excited.” Why is this about a goodie bag? Or a craft? And who does a goodie back after about age 9? OP, the mom was rude.