21 year old son, overnights with girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are leaving out a lot of details. Did he drop out of college? Why is he living with you?

I actually agree with you that I would not be loaning my car to my 21 YO son who has chosen to live at home (not working?) and whose priority is driving an hour to see his girlfriend.

Tell him to get his life back on track and then worry about the GF.

He did not drop out. He has just finished school. He is now back at home.

What does this mean? College? What college finished classes already?

Graduated college. Done school. Classes are done. He just finished exams Friday. Exams were done earlier than normal

No college in the US has finished classes.

We are in Canada but that doesn't matter. He finshed a bit early. Not sure why this is so surprising for people. Only 3 of his classes had exams and he got lucky to finish early.

You’re posting this on a DC forum and you live in Canada and cannot abide your 21 YO son sleeping over with his girlfriend. Lmao

Also no Canadian parent would be as overbearing as OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are being unreasonable, yes. And exactly how do you plan to stop it?

I can't stop it but I won't be giving him use of my car to go there.

If he won't follow our rules, he can support himself.

You will regret this.

OP in 10 years: My 31 year old son has cut off communication with me. I think it’s that evil DIL of mine. They just had a baby, but won’t let me see her. I don’t know why they don’t want me to be a part of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are leaving out a lot of details. Did he drop out of college? Why is he living with you?

I actually agree with you that I would not be loaning my car to my 21 YO son who has chosen to live at home (not working?) and whose priority is driving an hour to see his girlfriend.

Tell him to get his life back on track and then worry about the GF.

He did not drop out. He has just finished school. He is now back at home.

What does this mean? College? What college finished classes already?

Graduated college. Done school. Classes are done. He just finished exams Friday. Exams were done earlier than normal

No college in the US has finished classes.

We are in Canada but that doesn't matter. He finshed a bit early. Not sure why this is so surprising for people. Only 3 of his classes had exams and he got lucky to finish early.

You’re posting this on a DC forum and you live in Canada and cannot abide your 21 YO son sleeping over with his girlfriend. Lmao

I have been posting here for at least 8 years.

Lol okay. Enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I will back up that the Canadian university schedule does mean he could be done school already.

THe rest though - yes you are being unreasonable. You will push your son away. It's fine to deny the use of your car (I need my car so I wouldn't be letting my kid borrow the car overnight either) but they're adults.

[Anonymous]

McGill schedule:


“Winter 2023
Key Academic Dates & Other Important Dates
The Key Academic Dates found below are those approved by Senate in November 2020.

Classes begin: Wednesday, January 4
Winter Reading Break: from February 27 to March 3 (some exceptions apply)
Makeup Days: Wednesday, April 12 and Thursday, April 13▲ +
Classes end: Thursday, April 13▲
Study Days: Saturday, April 15 and Sunday, April 16
Exams begin: Friday, April 14
Exams end: Friday, April 28 (11 days, including evening exams)
Other important dates built around the Key Academic Dates include”

Troll

[Anonymous]

He is an adult. He can make his own decisions. You could ask him to leave, but don’t expect him to come back. It will probably backfire more on you than him or her, even if they end up breaking up.

[Anonymous]

https://registrar.mcmaster.ca/dates-and-deadlines/

https://artsci.calendar.utoronto.ca/sessional-dates

See the U of Toronto sessional dates and you will see I am correct.

Geez some of you think you are such detectives. Well, you are wrong.
So move along to answer the question.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I think I remember you, OP. Is this the so that isn’t appreciative for the help you’ve given him and everyone jumped down your throat acting as if you hadn’t helped at all? If so, I really hope for the sake of your relationship that he can move out. It really seems like you guys are fussing with each other over petty unimportant things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:McGill schedule:


“Winter 2023
Key Academic Dates & Other Important Dates
The Key Academic Dates found below are those approved by Senate in November 2020.

Classes begin: Wednesday, January 4
Winter Reading Break: from February 27 to March 3 (some exceptions apply)
Makeup Days: Wednesday, April 12 and Thursday, April 13▲ +
Classes end: Thursday, April 13▲
Study Days: Saturday, April 15 and Sunday, April 16
Exams begin: Friday, April 14
Exams end: Friday, April 28 (11 days, including evening exams)
Other important dates built around the Key Academic Dates include”

Troll

Lol see U of T which is his school. Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Are you the poster whose son lives at home in Canada? But you said here that he was “away at college”?

[Anonymous]

No Canadian refers to university as “college.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will back up that the Canadian university schedule does mean he could be done school already.

THe rest though - yes you are being unreasonable. You will push your son away. It's fine to deny the use of your car (I need my car so I wouldn't be letting my kid borrow the car overnight either) but they're adults.

Op here.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

OP people marry & have kids at 21 FFS. They are adults. Grow up. He probably is an atheist.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you OP. My kids respect my feelings when they’re home with us. They know I’m not in favor of premarital sex and if they do it, they certainly don’t flaunt it around me. We call it courtesy. On the flip side, I refrain from cooking meat when my vegetarian child is eating with us. I’m happy to extend courtesy back regarding something she believes strongly about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. He's an adult. You're having a hard time letting go but he needs to figure out independence and relationships and you need to give him the space to do it. You don't have to let her stay overnight at your house (your rules and all) but you will push him away if you try to forbid him to go to hers. I've seen this dynamic play out a few times u and it can be really damaging to your relationship with him. You are basically saying "I don't trust you to make decisions in your own life".

I'm basically saying, I don't support acting like a $lut. He doesn't need to sleep over. I didn't do that stuff.

You have spent 21 years raising him with your morals, values, principles, and ethics. He is choosing differently from how you would choose.

Do you think that your enforcement of "rules" for a 21-year-old man will make any difference whatsoever?

Are you more interested in creating and enforcing rules for your adult child than you are in having a relationship with him?