Why does my MIL do this? How to tell DH?

[Anonymous]

Op, your DD does not need to be around someone who is not kind. If she needs to be around her, you need to be there to witness what's being said. What's so hard about this? You do not drop DD off at Grandma's

[Anonymous]

Op, you should not be trading-off the convenience of DD going to Grandma's with what is best for your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you can say exactly what you said here. But I not sure you need to do so. Your DH already knows his mom sucks. He also seems smart enough to know he is never going to change his mom.

Why is your DD spending so much time with grandma? Just cut back. And don’t be the primary contact with MIL. Refer all complaints from her to her son.

We have cut back. DD sees her maybe 12 times a year. I just hate that she makes my DD feel inferior with comments like that.

12 times a year is a lot for a loving grandma. It is way too much for a grandma that insults her. I personally would only allow visits when I was there also, so I found put a stop yo the negative comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you can say exactly what you said here. But I not sure you need to do so. Your DH already knows his mom sucks. He also seems smart enough to know he is never going to change his mom.

Why is your DD spending so much time with grandma? Just cut back. And don’t be the primary contact with MIL. Refer all complaints from her to her son.

We have cut back. DD sees her maybe 12 times a year. I just hate that she makes my DD feel inferior with comments like that.

12 times a year is still too much!

Holy moly! This woman is toxic and she still gets to insult your DD 12 times a year!

Which is why I’m here. She told me this last night. DD is supposed to go with MIL this weekend. I’m thinking of having DH cancel. It’s weird though because for whatever reason, DD still seems to enjoy the relationship in spite of all this.

Sorry I didn't read all comments; but this is classic covert narcissism and you won't be able to have a real convo with MIL on this. Is your husband an understanding person who dealt with this his whole life, or, did he work hard to please his mother and therefore can't even see this problem?

Continue to stand up for your daughter and do what's best for you. Maybe don't let them spend time alone together; explain to your daughter she's perfect as is and grandma is just not easy to be around. You might visit https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/

[Anonymous]

Tell DD that grandma is losing her mind and doesn’t have a social filter.