DD got in trouble for "stealing food" and the entire grade has a punishment

[Anonymous]

What kind of game is passing an empty lunch box around? Something doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of game is passing an empty lunch box around? Something doesn't add up.

+1. OP won’t say. That would have been one of my first questions.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the idiots who say she's a bully. She is not a bully and she is not a problem child.

However, it is concerning that both of you consider every little behavior correction given by a teacher to be "getting in trouble". None of the examples you gave indicated she was in trouble or caused a problem. She was simply directed by a teacher (or lunch monitor) to change her behavior. This happens to all students on a daily basis. It is normal and not something that should cause tears, anxiety, or a refusal to go to school the next day. Typically, a parent would explain that the correction offered by the teacher does not mean she's in trouble and it simply means she should not repeat a certain behavior. Instead, you stood firm in your belief that she was telling the whole truth about being accused of stealing and being punished for it. You should have known that wasn't the case. Her version of the story isn't necessarily a lie, but it is never the entire truth, either. Tell her that she's only in trouble if the teacher calls you. Otherwise, it's just a normal day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the idiots who say she's a bully. She is not a bully and she is not a problem child.

However, it is concerning that both of you consider every little behavior correction given by a teacher to be "getting in trouble". None of the examples you gave indicated she was in trouble or caused a problem. She was simply directed by a teacher (or lunch monitor) to change her behavior. This happens to all students on a daily basis. It is normal and not something that should cause tears, anxiety, or a refusal to go to school the next day. Typically, a parent would explain that the correction offered by the teacher does not mean she's in trouble and it simply means she should not repeat a certain behavior. Instead, you stood firm in your belief that she was telling the whole truth about being accused of stealing and being punished for it. You should have known that wasn't the case. Her version of the story isn't necessarily a lie, but it is never the entire truth, either. Tell her that she's only in trouble if the teacher calls you. Otherwise, it's just a normal day.

Ummm actually it’s not at all normal for a teacher to need to do a “behavior correction” to every child. It does not happen to “all students”. It never happened to me and it doesn’t happen to my kids either. It just happens to the brats who are parented by people who make excuses for their kids all the time and tell the kids they aren’t in trouble when a teacher needs to step in and correct their child’s inappropriate behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of game is passing an empty lunch box around? Something doesn't add up.

They aren’t passing anything. They are throwing it or swinging it. And I guarantee you the lunchbox isn’t empty. There’s probably lots of other movement along with the throwing/swinging that makes the “game” dangerous and annoying af to any adult tasked with supervising these kids. But when someone gets hurt (!) guess whose fault it is (hint: not the kids involved with playing the “game”).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the idiots who say she's a bully. She is not a bully and she is not a problem child.

However, it is concerning that both of you consider every little behavior correction given by a teacher to be "getting in trouble". None of the examples you gave indicated she was in trouble or caused a problem. She was simply directed by a teacher (or lunch monitor) to change her behavior. This happens to all students on a daily basis. It is normal and not something that should cause tears, anxiety, or a refusal to go to school the next day. Typically, a parent would explain that the correction offered by the teacher does not mean she's in trouble and it simply means she should not repeat a certain behavior. Instead, you stood firm in your belief that she was telling the whole truth about being accused of stealing and being punished for it. You should have known that wasn't the case. Her version of the story isn't necessarily a lie, but it is never the entire truth, either. Tell her that she's only in trouble if the teacher calls you. Otherwise, it's just a normal day.

In this case, the behavioral correction was applied to the whole class, which was the equitable thing to do.

Not seeing a problem here.

[Anonymous]

Probably the whole class was being loud, your daughter was part of the loudness, the lunch monitors were frustrated, and laid down the punishment. I would (calmly) call the school to talk it through and out what they think happened, then take it from there.

Probably as simple as that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of game is passing an empty lunch box around? Something doesn't add up.

They aren’t passing anything. They are throwing it or swinging it. And I guarantee you the lunchbox isn’t empty. There’s probably lots of other movement along with the throwing/swinging that makes the “game” dangerous and annoying af to any adult tasked with supervising these kids. But when someone gets hurt (!) guess whose fault it is (hint: not the kids involved with playing the “game”).

Yeah...this is more likely. I don’t get why you are so worked up about the “punishment” OP.

If only your daughter got suspended, I could see the concern. But it is a whole class silent lunch. Therefore, no one is being singled out and blamed. Big deal. Be quiet and eat. Practice some self discipline for a couple days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DD11 is in fifth grade and has had a bad day-she got dress coded for the first time ever and when I picked her up early for a dr appointment the teacher questioned her and didn't seem pleased of her leaving early. To add flame to the fire DD, who has gotten in trouble at school about five times ever, got accused of stealing food at lunch.

Apparently, DD's friend started a game where you pass her empty lunchbox around. My daughter says she is almost positive the friend finished her lunch and that the box was empty but the lunch monitor saw them and told the teacher that DD and four or so of her friends were stealing the first girl's food. None of these girls have a reputation for being troublemakers. Neither the lunch monitor nor the teacher asked for their side of the story. Now the entire grade is having a silent lunch because of what my DD and her lunch group did. DD was very upset. I am not going to talk to the teacher, but it doesn't seem fair that my kid didn't get to explain. Also, why is the whole grade being punished for what five kids did? Thoughts? Was this a fair punishment?

I should add that this isn't the first time something like this has happened. When my DD was in kinder or first at a different school both her and her friend got ice cream. The friend finished her ice cream first and then while the girl was in the bathroom my DD ate her ice cream. The lunch monitor accused my daughter of stealing the girl's ice cream but allowed my DD to explain and didn't tell the teacher.

I believe the adult. Seems like your DD has a history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DD11 is in fifth grade and has had a bad day-she got dress coded for the first time ever and when I picked her up early for a dr appointment the teacher questioned her and didn't seem pleased of her leaving early. To add flame to the fire DD, who has gotten in trouble at school about five times ever, got accused of stealing food at lunch.

Apparently, DD's friend started a game where you pass her empty lunchbox around. My daughter says she is almost positive the friend finished her lunch and that the box was empty but the lunch monitor saw them and told the teacher that DD and four or so of her friends were stealing the first girl's food. None of these girls have a reputation for being troublemakers. Neither the lunch monitor nor the teacher asked for their side of the story. Now the entire grade is having a silent lunch because of what my DD and her lunch group did. DD was very upset. I am not going to talk to the teacher, but it doesn't seem fair that my kid didn't get to explain. Also, why is the whole grade being punished for what five kids did? Thoughts? Was this a fair punishment?

I should add that this isn't the first time something like this has happened. When my DD was in kinder or first at a different school both her and her friend got ice cream. The friend finished her ice cream first and then while the girl was in the bathroom my DD ate her ice cream. The lunch monitor accused my daughter of stealing the girl's ice cream but allowed my DD to explain and didn't tell the teacher.

I believe the adult. Seems like your DD has a history.

The first incident occurred at a completely different school than the second incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of game is passing an empty lunch box around? Something doesn't add up.

They aren’t passing anything. They are throwing it or swinging it. And I guarantee you the lunchbox isn’t empty. There’s probably lots of other movement along with the throwing/swinging that makes the “game” dangerous and annoying af to any adult tasked with supervising these kids. But when someone gets hurt (!) guess whose fault it is (hint: not the kids involved with playing the “game”).

I realize this is a year old thread, but we had this exact issue at private last year - "friends" were taking DD's lunch box (with lunch) and swinging it or playing keepaway, with the result DD didn't eat much and was hungry after school, plus snacks were getting crushed. DD was unable to resolve on her own. We alerted the teacher, who spoke to the kids responsible and the issue stopped. No whole-class punishment necessary.

[Anonymous]

OP face facts you raised a brat fix it now

No it is not normal for kids to get in trouble that’s absurd

I raised four boys and two girls in public and private schools.

My kids are not perfect but they did understand right from wrong at a young age why does’t yourvkid? Why are you it’s ok ? It’s not ok and wh6 is it a pattern of stealing?

The problem is your kid not the school

If you don’t agree why are you paying for privates

[Anonymous]

OP here- this is an old thread! What ended up happening was the teacher sent an email to the entire grade that the lunch monitor had to tell multiple different groups of kids at multiple different times to be quieter and that was why the grade was getting punished by having a silent lunch. DD thought her and her friends were specifically being punished and it wasn’t like that at all. She is still really good friends with the owner of the lunchbox, they enjoy going to each other’s houses and swimming at the pool. A lot of people on DCUM jumped and said my DD has a “pattern of stealing” and that “I’m raising a bully” but her latest report card praised her for being encouraging, kind, and inclusive. Never change, DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP face facts you raised a brat fix it now

No it is not normal for kids to get in trouble that’s absurd

I raised four boys and two girls in public and private schools.

My kids are not perfect but they did understand right from wrong at a young age why does’t yourvkid? Why are you it’s ok ? It’s not ok and wh6 is it a pattern of stealing?

The problem is your kid not the school

If you don’t agree why are you paying for privates

There was no stealing. It was a misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DD11 is in fifth grade and has had a bad day-she got dress coded for the first time ever and when I picked her up early for a dr appointment the teacher questioned her and didn't seem pleased of her leaving early. To add flame to the fire DD, who has gotten in trouble at school about five times ever, got accused of stealing food at lunch.

Apparently, DD's friend started a game where you pass her empty lunchbox around. My daughter says she is almost positive the friend finished her lunch and that the box was empty but the lunch monitor saw them and told the teacher that DD and four or so of her friends were stealing the first girl's food. None of these girls have a reputation for being troublemakers. Neither the lunch monitor nor the teacher asked for their side of the story. Now the entire grade is having a silent lunch because of what my DD and her lunch group did. DD was very upset. I am not going to talk to the teacher, but it doesn't seem fair that my kid didn't get to explain. Also, why is the whole grade being punished for what five kids did? Thoughts? Was this a fair punishment?

I should add that this isn't the first time something like this has happened. When my DD was in kinder or first at a different school both her and her friend got ice cream. The friend finished her ice cream first and then while the girl was in the bathroom my DD ate her ice cream. The lunch monitor accused my daughter of stealing the girl's ice cream but allowed my DD to explain and didn't tell the teacher.

I believe the adult. Seems like your DD has a history.

The adult didn’t realize that my DD had bought her own ice cream. That’s not a “history.”