DD is overweight - what to do?
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Anonymous
DP: It is so odd that you people think you can diagnose these kids and refuse to believe parents who tell you there is nothing off about what the kids are eating. Its like everyone whose life experience is different from what you believe must be lying. It is everthing that is wrong with our country these days. |
Anonymous
Then do nothing, if nothing can be done. Buy larger clothes for your DC. |
Anonymous
+1. It sounds like PP things they didn't do anything wrong, and therefore nothing can be done about the problem. So be it I guess. |
Anonymous
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“Crazy” PP here. I’ll try to explain what I mean in a more palatable way, lol. I was rushing to respond and also am frustrated by PPs who are certain everything can be addressed by either calorie and portion control OR deferring to a child’s “intuition”. Neither approach supports what’s really going on when kids gain weight or struggle to feel satisfied, which is complex.
To start, my kids eat lots of fruit. But if one was struggling with excess weight, I would *not* go out of my way to encourage eating, say, a cluster of grapes as a stand-alone snack. To do so denies everything we know about metabolic health. Of course I’m not going to shame them or restrict the grapes if that’s what they choose. But I’m going to try and fill the “home diet” (for all family members) with things we know support satiety/fullness. Especially because it’s so hard to control what they eat at parties. There is no downside except maybe the cost of avocados, olives, nuts, salmon or whatever your kids will eat. Unlike other interventions, it doesn’t harm your relationship and can be introduced slowly and without fanfare. The unfortunate truth is that each generation is dealing with a compounding effect of all the increased antibiotics, endocrine disrupters, formula, pre-term births, stressful/cortisol-spiking infant environments, increased maternal insulin resistance, culture of snacking and so on and so on. I have been unable to avoid several of these and say this with zero judgement. Kids today also have fewer chances to build protective muscle because they aren’t out lifting and working in the same way. This is all before the circadian disruptions from screens. Some people are genetically and epigenetically more vulnerable to all of this. If you and your family are not, be grateful and try to keep it that way. I don’t think the pediatrician’s advice is “bad”—but honestly they know very little about nutrition, weight, etc., although it’s getting better. I personally would not be pleased if a ped brought this up to my child without consulting me, especially because they are not experts. But it’s not a hill to die on. One last thing. If your DD carries weight more in her hips, the gain is not risky health-wise and much easier to address or, frankly, leave alone. It’s terribly unfair but when excess weight is in the middle of the body you need to keep an eye on it more. She is so young and you may not know for several years. |
Anonymous
Hi “crazy pp”. Do you have any suggestions of the best snacks that are low calorie but keep a child full for longer? My daughter who is 4 has an enormous appetite. She is always hungry. Can eat a ton. Also, what is the best physical activity for a girl that age? |
Anonymous
I love anonymous forums where you can call someone a horrible parent while having read four lines of text from them. I’ll be kind and try to explain things to you, since you are lucky enough not to be dealing with this yourself (and you truly are lucky- having an overweight tween who worries about her weight makes me worry about her having a lifelong eating disorder). You can’t control what a tween girl eats. You can pack them a healthy lunch, but then they can eat all their friends leftovers at school. You can give them a healthy dinner at home but my tween spends lots of time at friends houses, where she needs to make choices for herself. You can limit dessert but she’s at a birthday party once a month where she can eat unlimited pizza and cake. I promise you- if I restrict food at home she’ll get it elsewhere. I’ve tried everything else- now the best thing I can do is present her with healthy choices and information on healthy eating - and have an house full of healthy foods-and let her learn to regulate for herself. |
Anonymous
| This happened with my DD I made a few smaller changes that she barley noticed. Instead of juice boxes I started making crystal light and encouraging more water. I also stopped packing dessert with her lunch, she still has a small dessert after dinner. I also started only buying snacks that were lower in calories - so little packs of mini oreos that are around 150 calories instead of packs of 6 full sized cookies that are double. Some granola bars have 100 calories and some have like 250 - it was surprising when I started comparing. I don't buy "diet" food and the portions are probably smaller but all that is fine. The thing is she doesn't really feel like she's being denied anything. I've just shifted the options. I had also been packing "snacks" for breaks and after school. This was something that was a hold over from the little kid days when you had to send in snacks all the time. I just stopped and told her that a 10 year old should be able to get from breakfast to lunch without a snack. She got used to it and turns out a lot of her friends parents had already stopped packing snacks too. The key is to not think about it like an adult who is trying to loose 10 pounds. Basically you just want to slow her weight gain and allow increases in height and puberty changes to bring her back to a healthy weight. |
Anonymous
Ugh. So much this. You cannot control a tween/teens diet. They have to be able to make their own choices and use moderation. I cook heathy meals at home, buy nutritious snacks, and talk/model heathy eating and moderation. I cook my 12 yr old breakfast every morning and pack her a heathy lunch. School passes out pop tarts, sugar cereal, and chocolate milk for free breakfast to all that kids can pick up on their way to first class. School also gives free (processed) lunch to all, whether you pack your own you can still grab pizza daily if wanted. Teachers are constantly handing out bags of Doritos, chips, mini cookies, etc. as prizes in class. Now that kids are too old to send cupcakes in for birthdays, parents feel the need to do this at sports practice instead. At least once per week after practice, someone had brought in tons of desserts for some occasion. Friends’ houses are pretty much a free for all with soda and snacks. Plus the holidays, birthdays, pool parties, bbqs. It is impossible for a parent to oversee the diet of an older child/tween. A few extra snacks and desserts per week (that they may easily get outside of home) are absolutely enough to make a child overweight over time. My child is a heathy weight, but I would never judge the parents of a tween that isn’t. I can clearly see there are so many variables at play besides cooking heathy meals at home. |
Anonymous
To recap, your dd is to blame, her friends and their parents are to blame, school is to blame, birthdays are to blame, once a month! Not the house where she eats most of her meals. Nope, not your fault at all. |
Anonymous
“Puggy” is a highly offensive term used by body-shamers and bigots. |
Anonymous
| That’s the advice we got from a doctor (maybe the same one) and we tried following and that helped trigger DD’s eating disorder. Don’t go over the top. Just try to focus on relatively heathy eating and lifestyle. If you focus on the weight and restrictions vs a healthy outlook you aren’t really supporting long term physical and mental health development |
Anonymous
| send her to the gym |
Anonymous
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͋͂͐̐͆̇̐̐͂́̈́̄̈̔̇̌̉͋̐̊̋́̈́̑̌̍̊̓̍͐̀̊͗͒̇̇̎́̊̍̿̀̒̇̊̚̚͘̚̕̚͘͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅ=̵̢̡̨̡̢̡̢̡̧̡̡̧̢̨̧̢̛̛̥̱̟̹̫̬͙̠̩͓̘̞̭̜͈̮͔̝̪͔̮̦͍̺͙̖̖̯͕̻̤͓̪̤̪̦̣͕͔̭̥̬̠̼͔̠̰̤͓̲̠͍̩̟̼͇̟̫̲̱͖̟̱̹͎͕̤͎̹͖̯͎͍͓̟̖̩̼̦̻͚̬̹͓̭̖̳̠̯͈͎̬̝͈͕̗̤͕͖͎̖͉̦̙̯̠̦̜͕̝̭͚̟̝̹̩̖̮̼͈̞̞̰̻̯͉̪̱̜̝͙̻͔̆̏͛͑̓͆̒̌̏̎͋̈̇͗̃́͐͛̑͋̾̔͆̅͒̄̓̽̈́̽̒̀͌̐͗̌͆͗̽̃̎̋̂̎̀͛͛͗̏͌̋͆̿͑̈͆̀̈́̇͐͆̌͊͊̑͌̽̑̂͂̒͐͂̑̾͆̃̆͑̈́̀́̒̍̇̆̔͂̔̄̍̋͒́̉̓̋͑̀́̉̀̓̊̔̿̔͊͛̅̀̈́͐̿͛͒̋̈́͊̃̅̇̂͑̊̃̀̍̀́̈͑͗̽̑̃̾͒͑͛͊̿͋̿̓͘̕̕̕͘̚͘̚͘̚̕͘͘̚͘̕̕̕͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅa̸̢̨̡̧̢̢̢̡̢̨̨̢̨̢̧̢̡̧̗̘̻̣̙̙̮̳̦̭̲͙͕͓̰̹̣̙̱̱̯͍̠̻͍̪͍̭̤̱̖̼͔̩͓̬͓͖̤̼̗̯̞̟̯̗̙̮̟̯̺̳̰̬͇̰̱̩̫͎̦͉̠̠̖̫̱͚̙̣̹͙̤̦͈̲̫̠̦͕̝̼̹̰͚̫̯̣͖͈̖̣͎̹̝̟̭̬̼̘͎̲̙̲͉̤͙̳͙̩̬̭̣̖͚̯͚͙̞͉̰̫̭̫̖͙͓̥͖̳̠͙̲͕̣̲̜̣̙͖͉̰̱̤̝̯̰̳̯̣̜͕̰̹͙̩͍͕̰͇͈̣͕̗͍̘̺̹̟͙͔̥͎̗͇̺̜̳̖͖͍̼̖͕̝̖̹̭̻̙̺͉̫͙͇͈͔͕̗̤̣͈̞̖͔̩̝͈̯̻̱̪̜͚̋͌̚͜͜͜͜͜͜ͅͅͅͅͅͅè̵̢̧̨̨̧̧̢̧̜͔͙̬̤̜̗̱̤͕̼̭̯̙̰̥̹͔̳̬͉̘͍̜̦̦͖̞̠̞̮̙͖̞̹̟̖̙̠̪̦̲̺̻͇͈͖̰̫̱̼̞͙̖̰̫͔͖͉̹̪͍͇̙̼̟̥͍̟̗̫͕̼̖̫͉̫͙͚͇̦̱͕̣̹̣̗̝͖̹̪̫̟͔̝̞̰̖̗͉̝̹͉͎̰̺̱̖̤̣̻̳̥̤̳̣̹͎̤̱̼̩̥̈́̄̽̔͗̋̿̈́̌̂̾̏͘̕͜͜͜͜͜͝͝ͅͅƠ̷̡̡̡̡̧̧̨̧̨̧̨̧̡̧̧̢̧̨̡̨̨̡̡̡̨̢̭͙̲̪͕̳̝̘̗͙͖͓̼̫͓̭͔͎͎̰̙̙͖̭͉͔̺̠̤͔̙̟͉͚͔̣͍̙͎̜͍̼̯͔̩̝̝̜̗̦̦͓̗̬̬̩̻̜̣̩̲̘̳̳͓̪̜̖͙̙̳̲̺̳̻̭̘̮͔̝͖͈͕̬̦͈̫̜̖͕̹͎̭͍̲̺̮̻͓͚̭̠̠͇̯̗̣̙̤͎͕̪̠͉͎̙̘̬͎̜̘̱͙̭͍̝͓̲̱̯̮̤̟̼̟̟̭͓̗̝͖͓̩̹̳̦͚̭̠͕̦͈̮̫͓̟̻̖̣͖͍̻̲͇̟͔͖̙͍̭̥̬̱̍͌̅̇̇͊̐̄̀̀̆͒̾̈́̀̽͌̂͛͑̾̄̊̅͑̀́͂̆̀̓̆͊̆͌̍̈́̉̔̽̊̾̌̈́͂̃̀͐̾̈́́͌̌́̉̈́̏̉̍͛́̀̽̂̀͊̔͑̾̉̊͛͗̎̀͘̕̚̚̚̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅJ̷̢̧̨̡̢̧̢̨̧̢̨̢̡̢̧̡̥̫̭̥̘͖̻͓̺̗̣͚̯̞̠̝̳̣͕̹̣̼͇͚̰͇̝̱̘̦͇̖̖̳͇̼͕̮͍̗̘̪̞̱̫͈͖̞̼̺͎̤̼̳̖̗̰̫͇͙̘͓̝̹̼͙̰͈̝̟͕̫̝̪̜̘̤̮̻̻̩̥̣̪̳̮͓̫̩̞̜̫͖͎̝͎͕̪̝͕͍͓̞̟̳͉̱̘̫͚̺̝̘̞̮̝̞͈̞̺̙̱̝̙̤̰̜̞̯̥͇̳͇͖͕͍̟̰̣̦̗̹͇͔͙̹̫̜̪̭̪̬̝̻͙͙̰̭͙̗̲̬̥̼͓̥͍̳̫̹̟͎̦̜͇̟̤̪͉̣̮̺̹̼̗̦̼̜͔̱̺̪͈͇͇͚̥̝̳̻̯̻̻̞̭͍̩̤͍͖͕̫͇̙̰͉̝͔̮̦̱̞̈́́̅͗̉̈͜͜͜͜ͅͅͅͅȩ̸̧̧̧̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̳̪̞̦͉̘̺͕̹̰͖͚͈̫͎̥͇̖̩͙̜̥͓̙̯̙̘͈̣̣͇̱̙̖̤͎̱͖͎̲͓̭͖̂̽̃͒̂̏̾̉̀̉̑͋̄͌̌́́́͂̇̒̔̽̾̂̅̄̓̀̄̄͊̑̇͒́̒͑̅̋̈͗̇̈̀͌͒͋̌̊̑̅̒̓̏͛͆̈́̄̈́͊̐͌̇͋̑̄̒́̓̃̇͑́̈́͒̈́̎̌̅̽͗͗̄̓͋̈́̑̏̀̅͋̈́͒̉̍͐͊̅̿͊̈͑͌̈́͛̋̈́̅̌̈́͐̆̃͑̈͒̎̍̃͑̀̄̐͆̓̽̽̊͋͒͗̎́̀̿̊̈́̆͒͊̈̾̈́̄̊̃͊̽͐͛̏̇̇̄̈́͒͆͐͛͂͂́͐́̈́̋̓̇̈́̇̒̔̉͐̎̀̓͒͐͆̏̂̈́̉̑̄̚̕͘̚͘̕̕̕̚͘̚͘͘͘͘̕͘̕͜͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͠͠͝͠͝p̶̧̧̨̨̧̡̡̢̨̢̢̡̧̡̢̨̢̨̧̨̧̢̢̧̨̡̛̛̛̙̠̬̝͚̮̘̩̳̥͍̤̦͎͕͎̲̫̱̬̼̱͈͉̼̻͔͔̞̗̦̗̩̪͕̦̰̺͇͎̺͉͎͇̻̫̲̬̗̖̤͚͈͉̲̼͚̞͔͙̩̘̯̮̝̩̼̖̱̙̝̬̳͓͉̻̗̗̜̹̜̳͔̗͇̞̯̮͇̟͈̪̖̱͈̰̲̪͚̼͓͚̙̬̪̜͔̻̰̞͕̭̝̱̳͓̥̠̘̪̠̹̦̯̘̭̘͇̠̖̤͇̲̙̪̙̰͓̱̻͇͍͔̭͍̱̞̣̙̺̹͍̻̩͍̠̻̹̜͚̣͙̙̬͎̰͍̜̮̥̯͍̭̱̫̭̗̗̰͍̘̩̤̖̠͖͎͖̭̫͖̰͉̳͈̙͓̣̭̠̼͎͎̥͉̺̙̫̰̬̜̮͈̟̘̗̯̱̮͚̮͙̜̦̯̗͎̬̦͍͖̳̰̰̭̭̭̹͈̦͎̤̅̉́̇̑̔̈́̇͆͒̐́́̃̌̋͛̇̌̌̋̍͐́͊̆̀̌͂͌̊̀͒̎̍̽̈̂͂̉́̾̃̾̇̊̃̅̂͌̅̍̅̈́́̑̌̋̄̉̀̽̂̍̿̊̏̂̀̍͂̏̐̾̎̅́̋͊̑̊͗̐̊́͊͛͒̍̉̿͂̃͗͊̍͑̎̋̾͋̆̏͊͛̓̽̉̾̍͒̄̄̃́͊̉̄͂̓̈̉̍́̕͘̕̚̚̕̚̚̚̕͘̚͘̕̕͘͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅṽ̴̨̢̧̢̧̨̧̡̨̨̧̛̛̛̛̲̜̪̠̫̩̱͍̗̺̟̻̗͚̜̣̥͙̫̦͚̥̮̠͇̤̝̳͇̺̞͔̮̜̲͍̮̦̙̫̠̫͔̤̭̭͉̰̼͉͓͈͚͍̘̠͇͕̣̬̦̖̼͚̮̘̪͉̝̳͚͖͈͎̖̥̹͕̱̠̖͇̲͓̩̪̘̜̞̘̭͍͕̫͕̺̤̼̞̭̞̗̼͈̝̝̻̤̬͕͉̱̱̖̹̞͇̫̣̖̦̪̜̹͍̠̼͚̱͕̪̺͎̼̻̠̹̖̼̞̪̼̣͈̲͚̠͍̬̰̲̘̗̩̞̹̞̳͍̘̺̜̣̟͔̟͇͔̳̞͈̤̦̣̲̘̤̣͔̬̬̺̟̝̥̻̩͎̭̦̯̻̮̼̳͙̮̹͕̤̱͎̺̗̰̭̹̉̋̍͌̆͐̇̔͋̑̃̽̈́͛͊̈́͆͛̆̓̿͐̏̏̀̀͌̔̈͌̓͑̑͗́̂̀̽̍͋̆̀̎̅̏͊̀̿̇̒͑̉͂̄͑͛̎̇̅̇̓̈̏̾͑͛̓̀́̑̓̾̏̈́͗͗͒̉͛̾̽͐̾͆͗̀̒͋̐̎̊̾̏͒̄̄̉̐̾̄̀̓̅́̋̀̾͒͒̓͂̿̑̋̍̾̂̉̉̔̽͌̊̐̋̏̓͂͂̅̊̅̒̉̒͌͌̈́̀̈́̅̀̃̃̾̈͂̔̈̃̎̇͋̾̇͗̈̐̍̔̈́̂͋̀͆̑̈́̉̈́̋̑̇̽͌͑̊̓̀̑̊̀̾̑̿̉̄̈́͑́̃͑͌͂̊̏͐̏̍͛̃̒̓̔̀͐̓͂̐̒̔̄͊͋͑̓̉̈́̎͗̔̄̃̑̊͋̅̀̔̊͂̀̀̎̓̄͛͛̐̍͂̆͘̕̚̕̕͘̕̚̚̚̚̚͘̕̕̕̕̕͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͝͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅi̶̢̧̨̧̨̧̧̡̧̡̢̡̨̢̡̡̨̨̨̛͍̜̜͔̰̙̣̩͍̹̦̠̲̖̠̙͔̩̥̤̥̻̝̗̣̦̬͕̭̦̜̱̝̖̟̣̹̦͇͙̤̟͈͖̭͓̖̞̱̬͓̘̼͓̥̪̜̣̬͙̦̙͓̻͕͓̮͍̱̗̺̳͍͕̪̖͖̙̫̻̮͎̹͚͓̮̙̱̝̩̰̰̲͎͙̲̬̩͙̪̜̦̼̥͉͖̗̤̩̭͇̙̥͖̠̲̤͓̠̮͍͉̬̙̟͔͓̤͉̼͍̖̼͔̮̙̣̳̙̼͉̹̹̪̦̼̳͈͙̱͈̲͕̠̙̫̱̫̲͈͖̰͈̤̋̇͒͒́̓͊̈́͛̇̓̃̒̌̐̃̓́̿͛̍̋̿̎͋̀̂̈́̅̌͌͛̍͒̄̑́͛͘̚͜͜͜͜͜͠ͅͅͅͅͅå̶̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͙̠͉̞̮̫̠̩͕̭͕͍̫̤͕̰͈̪̻̮͔̹̍̌͊͛͋̈́̂̋͋͂̐͑͋̀̇́̅̓̌̈́̄̏̿̉́̊͛͆͛͗̿͆́͛͗́̋̌́́̅̈̈́̈́̓̈͋̋͊͊́͆̆̈̓̏̆̄̈́̄̉̍̑͒͆̎̔̎̐̓̏̐͛̍̃́̏̾̈́̐̓̈́́͑̉̃͑̌̒̐͊͛̅̆̎̈̎̿̇́̈̆̐̔̉̌̾̊͆̂͋̋̓̐̃̔̔͐̒̀͛̒̇͛́̅͋̌̎̃͌̂̓͆̃̂̓̑̋̎̽͆̑͛̐̄̐̉̔̽́̐̈́͛̾̿́̆̄̾̊́̈̿̂͑̈́͛̒̓̀͋̓̇͑̈́͑̀̂̇́̉̇͌̑͗̑̒̓̆̈́̓̑͒͐̎͗͐͗͆̆͆̍͊͒͐̐̀̿̈͆̑̀͂̏͆̂̈́͂̅͒́͊͘̕͘͘̕̕͘͘̚̚̕͘̕͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͝ͅę̶̨̧̧̢̧͉̗̝̥̩̯̳̞̠̻͈̪̝̫̻̮͇͍̳͔͚͚̜͕̯͚̤̘̱͕̗͕̼̪̯̬̥͔̙̯͇͉̼̞̲͉̦̹͈̹̤̦̭̭͈̤̣̭̫̳͔̩̹͖͕͖̠̜̝̝̬̖̮͕́͊̓̈́́̍̑͆̂̾͗̆̀̂͊̅̊̃̀̊̑͆̑̎̓̎̀͋͗̌͛̆̆̊̎̓̈́̿̈́̔̐͗́̅͒̈́̈̄̿̈́̎̅̊̆̎̈́͒͆̉̈́̽̾̾̀̓̅͆̀͐̈́̏̄̌̋͘̚͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͠͝͠ͅͅͅͅ0̶̧̧̧̨̡̡̨̨̛̛̛̛̛͕̻̫̱̣̭͖͖̝̬̤̠̦͇̤͙̲̰̫̼̩̰͍̬͇̱̦̦̘̩͔͉͚͖͕͇̼̙̲̥̬̪͎̰͓͎̠̪̞̯̻̥͓̟͖̺̗͕̣̞̪̜̻̙̱̰̜͍͍̘̯̙̼̩͍͇̖͙͎̥̯͎̹̣͕͈͙̯̲̹̙̳̰̖͇̮̰̳̦̣̯̫̠̞̲͓̻̜̬̠̼̼̬̥̙̱͎̰͉͇̤̭͖͖̗̱̭̦͈̙̲̟͉̩͉͈̞̼̦̼̳͍̖̙̝͖͙̩͉̯̫̳̯̙̩̬̺̥̪͉̼͍̫̳̃̐́̽̃̽̓̑̎̍̎̓̈́͋͑̈́͆̆͗̐̔̀̂̈́̈̽̈́̏̿̎̈́̀̇͑̎̌̈́̈́̽̾͂̀̔̉͊͛͋́̍̓̾̍͐̓͌̿̃͛̓͆͗̊́͗́̅͗̉̌̈̈́͋̒̎̈́͑̐̓͆̀͛͊̈́̌̀͐̈́̿̅̀̂̈̓̃̿̋̊̌̐͛͑̆̐͗̏͌̐́́̓̓̍͊͊͆̈́̈̊̈̀̈́̅́̾̀̂̏͂̀̒͒̅̉̇̔͋͗̌̈́͗̊̾͆̽͐̆́̈́͗̇̒̍̾̿̄̃͌͂̑̑̐̔̎̑͗̂͗̒͊̏͛̒̓̽̎͛̈́̎̃̋͂̄͊̄͒͊̌̈̎̀̓̒͛̈́͋͊͑̉̅́̃͌͗͊̓̀̊͐͌̈́̒̅̓͑̀͊̍̋̽́̃̊̓̀̌̋͘͘͘̚̚͘̚̕̚͘̕̚̚̚͘͘͘͘̚͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅ 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Anonymous
| I would ignore the doctors advice, honestly. Sounds like you’re doing everything right |
Anonymous
| How is that overweight? |