DD is overweight - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pediatrician's advise sounds a little extreme unless he confirmed your DD's diet is based on processed foods and sweets (and it doesn't sound like it is). People talk about how much teen boys eat sometimes, but the biggest eater in my house was my daughter during the tween years (I was the same at that age). It all leveled out by 8th grade or so.

Do you have kids? They're not mini-adults, they're supposed to be smaller. Kids don't attain their adult weight until they're adults - or at least, they aren't supposed to.

The idea that every kid has to have a scrawny beanpole stage is simply not true. Lots of kids get a bit chunky before a major growth spurt. Some kids are never skinny at all but still end up a normal, healthy weight.

I'm the same height and weight in middle age that I was at age 12 (5'4 and around 115-120 pounds - I was maybe an inch shorter back then). Maybe I wasn't "supposed" to weigh so much, but I did and it didn't really cause any problems. My DD and DS were the same. We're all pretty solidly built and never had a skinny phase.

You aren’t wrong, but your example is poor. You were never overweight as per the children’s BMI standards. OPs kid is, by a significant amount. And while yes, some kids put on weight before puberty, this is typically thin kids that become not at thin. They still aren’t considered overweight medically. Kids that are already overweight before puberty are highly likely to stay overweight after puberty

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why you guys obsess over whether the doctor has read the chart wrong. Most families have a sense of who has healthy food patterns and who doesn’t, who is overweight and who isn’t, not least because there’s a huge genetic component. And none of the suggested interventions would derail a healthy kid anyway.

[Anonymous]

I am 5'4' and got married at 22 at a lower weight than your 11-year-old DD. Oh, sure, call me 80s teen and all that. I looked completely normal to all of us and all my friends were similar weight to mine depending on their height.
Your kid is very overweight for her age, but let's tell the pediatrician he is wrong. Cause you did so much, you and the others here doubt the advice,
What we need here is good old-fashioned Asian shaming of you moms!!! Not of kids.
You moms are to blame for this, and yet you choose to close your eyes and cause your own kids weight issues, and yes, mental health issues, as they know they are overweight and mocked at school. They do not control their food; you do. But one here is saying she put it in the hands of her 11-year-old!!!!!
Take responsibility, snowflake moms! Cook healthy foods for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

They are not just built that way. Your DD is not just muscular, she is overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Seriously? You are a parent and you put all the control in the 11-year-old hands. Why is it all or nothing? Why can't you cook healthy food and stop with peanut butter, and cheese, and cook her a stew? Nobody got overweight from eating three homemade meals per day.

You think a kid is overweight from snacking on an apple and cheese? Seriously?

What? No, I think mom in the post, if that is you, is a horrible parent. That is clear from my post. She has given up and let her 11-year-old decide what to eat!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pediatrician's advise sounds a little extreme unless he confirmed your DD's diet is based on processed foods and sweets (and it doesn't sound like it is). People talk about how much teen boys eat sometimes, but the biggest eater in my house was my daughter during the tween years (I was the same at that age). It all leveled out by 8th grade or so.

Do you have kids? They're not mini-adults, they're supposed to be smaller. Kids don't attain their adult weight until they're adults - or at least, they aren't supposed to.

The idea that every kid has to have a scrawny beanpole stage is simply not true. Lots of kids get a bit chunky before a major growth spurt. Some kids are never skinny at all but still end up a normal, healthy weight.

I'm the same height and weight in middle age that I was at age 12 (5'4 and around 115-120 pounds - I was maybe an inch shorter back then). Maybe I wasn't "supposed" to weigh so much, but I did and it didn't really cause any problems. My DD and DS were the same. We're all pretty solidly built and never had a skinny phase.

SO in the 80s the skinny bean pole was a thing, but now it is now? What changed in such a short time? Genetics? Evolution? Or parental responsibility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

They are not just built that way. Your DD is not just muscular, she is overweight.

Pp and thanks for your thoughtful commentary, but I’ll think I’ll listen to the pediatrician. Not some rando on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

They are not just built that way. Your DD is not just muscular, she is overweight.

Pp and thanks for your thoughtful commentary, but I’ll think I’ll listen to the pediatrician. Not some rando on DCUM.

Good for you, terrible for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

Being born in the 99 percentile has nothing to do with 11 year old weight and height.

[Anonymous]

All of you please stop pushing fruit! This generation is not metabolically healthy and they need good fats and proteins, plus low-starch veg. (Also even todays apples are far more sugary than 50 years ago). PP’s who combine fruit with fats have the right idea.

I would sit down and make a list of *everything* in that category your child likes. We end up with a lot of olives and coconut-rich smoothies because my kids like them. For you it might be avocado toast with eggs and frequent broccoli. Don’t be afraid to repeat and repeat because chances are there aren’t that many foods that support metabolic health that everyone will happily eat. This will help blunt cravings and increase satiety. I agree you can’t control what she eats outside of the home without blowback.

And to all the judgmental PP’s, this may not be your kid now but it very well may be at 20 or 30, especially when the sports slow down, the drinking goes up and the endocrine issues get triggered by stressors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you please stop pushing fruit! This generation is not metabolically healthy and they need good fats and proteins, plus low-starch veg. (Also even todays apples are far more sugary than 50 years ago). PP’s who combine fruit with fats have the right idea.

I would sit down and make a list of *everything* in that category your child likes. We end up with a lot of olives and coconut-rich smoothies because my kids like them. For you it might be avocado toast with eggs and frequent broccoli. Don’t be afraid to repeat and repeat because chances are there aren’t that many foods that support metabolic health that everyone will happily eat. This will help blunt cravings and increase satiety. I agree you can’t control what she eats outside of the home without blowback.

And to all the judgmental PP’s, this may not be your kid now but it very well may be at 20 or 30, especially when the sports slow down, the drinking goes up and the endocrine issues get triggered by stressors.

I am the one saying parents are in denial and not being responsible. But, YOU need to go away, as in never be allowed to be a parent, to be on dcum, or to participate in any conversation that is not in insane asylum mentally ill therapy group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

They are not just built that way. Your DD is not just muscular, she is overweight.

Pp and thanks for your thoughtful commentary, but I’ll think I’ll listen to the pediatrician. Not some rando on DCUM.

Good for you, terrible for your child.

So enlighten me. What would you like my 9yo DD to do? Starve herself? Throw up her food after every meal? I’d love to hear your suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

They are not just built that way. Your DD is not just muscular, she is overweight.

Pp and thanks for your thoughtful commentary, but I’ll think I’ll listen to the pediatrician. Not some rando on DCUM.

Good for you, terrible for your child.

So enlighten me. What would you like my 9yo DD to do? Starve herself? Throw up her food after every meal? I’d love to hear your suggestions.

DP. Three meals and one snack. Only. If she feels hungry between meals, before lunch and dinner, then that's normal and not a problem to be solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you please stop pushing fruit! This generation is not metabolically healthy and they need good fats and proteins, plus low-starch veg. (Also even todays apples are far more sugary than 50 years ago). PP’s who combine fruit with fats have the right idea.

I would sit down and make a list of *everything* in that category your child likes. We end up with a lot of olives and coconut-rich smoothies because my kids like them. For you it might be avocado toast with eggs and frequent broccoli. Don’t be afraid to repeat and repeat because chances are there aren’t that many foods that support metabolic health that everyone will happily eat. This will help blunt cravings and increase satiety. I agree you can’t control what she eats outside of the home without blowback.

And to all the judgmental PP’s, this may not be your kid now but it very well may be at 20 or 30, especially when the sports slow down, the drinking goes up and the endocrine issues get triggered by stressors.

I actually think this crazy PP is right about metabolic health and having a good balance of healthy fats and other healthy food can help, but you’re not going to magic diet your kid out of a weight problem if they’re destined to have one so don’t over stress about it like this person. Good content, insane packaging.

[Anonymous]

You have to figure out why she's gaining. As a parent of multiple children, only one of whom is overweight in spite of a healthy diet, it isn't always the food. Don't let the doctor cop out with just a "food and diet" Rx. There is very often something else going on.