Fellow PK3 newbies, post your lottery nerves here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m nervous about my kid starting preschool. She’s a COVID baby who has been at home with a parent or a relative since she was born, and I’m so nervous about sending her off away from us! It’ll be good for her but wow it’s hard just thinking about it right now. We’re trying to put her in more activities and then summer camps to get her ready but I’m thinking of next school year with a mix of joy and dread.

The biggest challenge for clingy kids who know only home and family or private nannies is, in my experience, not the kids' ability to adapt to PS3. The issue is parents - as it almost always is with kids. My kid cried their eyes out at drop off every day for a week or two. I reminded myself that my kid was going to be fine and they were taking their cues from me. I hugged them, but then told them I'd see them at pick up and walked away. Most kids who react this way are only doing it to manipulate parents. Once they figure out they are going to go back every day they relax and usually love pre-school. I watched in horror parents who were in tears as they left their kids in class each day and then had the audacity to say their kids weren't ready; as if their behavior wasn't the driver of the way the kids reacted.

I'm sure lots of DCUM readers will take offence to this, but parents who say "my kid isn't ready" are projecting. Your kid will be fine. If this is emotional for you and you need to melt down for the first few days/weeks, do yourself and your kid a favor and DON"T do it in front of them.

P.S. PS3 teachers are inhuman gods. I cannot imagine having to deal with a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds every day. I used to volunteer for an hour or two and I went straight home for bourbon!

Truer words were never spoken. A kid was pulled out of my kid's PK3 and sent back to in-home care at the beginning of this year and the mom said something along the lines of "every day he comes home and describes a way in which he has been invalidated or unsupported in his growth." Her kid, who we met through several pre-preK meetups, was really shy around other kids and borderline non-verbal even with his mom. It was the wildest case of projection I've ever seen, but if she feels better keeping him home then so be it.

Oh FFS! A little unsupporting is critical to their development! I wonder what the invalidation was. Maybe they wanted him to sit criss cross applesauce?

I hear this, but also had a terrible experience with DCPS PK. In our case, the whole class was struggling and the teacher is notorious. (Like you would tell parents of older kids that your kid had her and they would say “I’m sorry.”) it really soured me on the DCPS PK experience.

PP whose kid is still in this class - it's the class other teachers at the school finagle to get their kids into. The teacher and para are both wonderful. Also this kid was only there for something like 7 class days - the mom simply wasn't ready to let him out of her sight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m nervous about my kid starting preschool. She’s a COVID baby who has been at home with a parent or a relative since she was born, and I’m so nervous about sending her off away from us! It’ll be good for her but wow it’s hard just thinking about it right now. We’re trying to put her in more activities and then summer camps to get her ready but I’m thinking of next school year with a mix of joy and dread.

The biggest challenge for clingy kids who know only home and family or private nannies is, in my experience, not the kids' ability to adapt to PS3. The issue is parents - as it almost always is with kids. My kid cried their eyes out at drop off every day for a week or two. I reminded myself that my kid was going to be fine and they were taking their cues from me. I hugged them, but then told them I'd see them at pick up and walked away. Most kids who react this way are only doing it to manipulate parents. Once they figure out they are going to go back every day they relax and usually love pre-school. I watched in horror parents who were in tears as they left their kids in class each day and then had the audacity to say their kids weren't ready; as if their behavior wasn't the driver of the way the kids reacted.

I'm sure lots of DCUM readers will take offence to this, but parents who say "my kid isn't ready" are projecting. Your kid will be fine. If this is emotional for you and you need to melt down for the first few days/weeks, do yourself and your kid a favor and DON"T do it in front of them.

P.S. PS3 teachers are inhuman gods. I cannot imagine having to deal with a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds every day. I used to volunteer for an hour or two and I went straight home for bourbon!

Truer words were never spoken. A kid was pulled out of my kid's PK3 and sent back to in-home care at the beginning of this year and the mom said something along the lines of "every day he comes home and describes a way in which he has been invalidated or unsupported in his growth." Her kid, who we met through several pre-preK meetups, was really shy around other kids and borderline non-verbal even with his mom. It was the wildest case of projection I've ever seen, but if she feels better keeping him home then so be it.

Oh FFS! A little unsupporting is critical to their development! I wonder what the invalidation was. Maybe they wanted him to sit criss cross applesauce?

I hear this, but also had a terrible experience with DCPS PK. In our case, the whole class was struggling and the teacher is notorious. (Like you would tell parents of older kids that your kid had her and they would say “I’m sorry.”) it really soured me on the DCPS PK experience.

PP whose kid is still in this class - it's the class other teachers at the school finagle to get their kids into. The teacher and para are both wonderful. Also this kid was only there for something like 7 class days - the mom simply wasn't ready to let him out of her sight.

I believe you. Just still bitter about putting my kid through a horrible year. Doesn’t sound like our scenarios are similar at all.

[Anonymous]

It does seem that a lot more people are ranking their IBs at the top of their lists for PK3. We visited many of the popular charters, but none seemed like they were leaps and bounds better than our IB to justify the commute. So we ended up ranking them, but after our IB option (which I recognize is silly because if our lottery number is bad enough to prevent us from getting into either of our IB options, it's almost entirely unlikely that we'd get into one of the charters. So it seemed like the top and bottom of our list is most relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does seem that a lot more people are ranking their IBs at the top of their lists for PK3. We visited many of the popular charters, but none seemed like they were leaps and bounds better than our IB to justify the commute. So we ended up ranking them, but after our IB option (which I recognize is silly because if our lottery number is bad enough to prevent us from getting into either of our IB options, it's almost entirely unlikely that we'd get into one of the charters. So it seemed like the top and bottom of our list is most relevant.

This. I'm stunned how many people I know at Langley who aren't bothering with the lottery at all-- not just for PK but for K and 1st!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does seem that a lot more people are ranking their IBs at the top of their lists for PK3. We visited many of the popular charters, but none seemed like they were leaps and bounds better than our IB to justify the commute. So we ended up ranking them, but after our IB option (which I recognize is silly because if our lottery number is bad enough to prevent us from getting into either of our IB options, it's almost entirely unlikely that we'd get into one of the charters. So it seemed like the top and bottom of our list is most relevant.

This. I'm stunned how many people I know at Langley who aren't bothering with the lottery at all-- not just for PK but for K and 1st!

As the parent of a second grader now, I am really reassured to read this. It makes a lot of sense that families are less willing to commute past a neighborhood IB option for a charter when they’re working from home. I will also say that for many (not all) schools, the difference between your DCPS and that HRCS 15 minutes away gets less apparent as time goes on. You see that your friends kids are learning the same stuff at their charter, and there are pros and cons between any of the schools, but less so one clear winner. So if the commute is a breeze, you’ve made friends, and are otherwise happy, why try to trade up and sign on for a commute? Time will tell when middle school gets closer, but I could see some of these neighborhood schools turn more into the DCPS schools on the Hill. People don’t try too hard for elementary options, and a ton of shuffling happens in fourth and fifth grade. We shall see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It does seem that a lot more people are ranking their IBs at the top of their lists for PK3. We visited many of the popular charters, but none seemed like they were leaps and bounds better than our IB to justify the commute. So we ended up ranking them, but after our IB option (which I recognize is silly because if our lottery number is bad enough to prevent us from getting into either of our IB options, it's almost entirely unlikely that we'd get into one of the charters. So it seemed like the top and bottom of our list is most relevant.

This. I'm stunned how many people I know at Langley who aren't bothering with the lottery at all-- not just for PK but for K and 1st!

As the parent of a second grader now, I am really reassured to read this. It makes a lot of sense that families are less willing to commute past a neighborhood IB option for a charter when they’re working from home. I will also say that for many (not all) schools, the difference between your DCPS and that HRCS 15 minutes away gets less apparent as time goes on. You see that your friends kids are learning the same stuff at their charter, and there are pros and cons between any of the schools, but less so one clear winner. So if the commute is a breeze, you’ve made friends, and are otherwise happy, why try to trade up and sign on for a commute? Time will tell when middle school gets closer, but I could see some of these neighborhood schools turn more into the DCPS schools on the Hill. People don’t try too hard for elementary options, and a ton of shuffling happens in fourth and fifth grade. We shall see.

Yes. In my experience if a school can get over the hump of K retention, and find a way to retain its higher-performing kids, while also delivering solid academics for the academic middle and steady functioning of its programs, then people will be okay with sticking around through 4th-- long enough for the 5th grade lottery anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does seem that a lot more people are ranking their IBs at the top of their lists for PK3. We visited many of the popular charters, but none seemed like they were leaps and bounds better than our IB to justify the commute. So we ended up ranking them, but after our IB option (which I recognize is silly because if our lottery number is bad enough to prevent us from getting into either of our IB options, it's almost entirely unlikely that we'd get into one of the charters. So it seemed like the top and bottom of our list is most relevant.

Ha, I did the same thing!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m nervous about my kid starting preschool. She’s a COVID baby who has been at home with a parent or a relative since she was born, and I’m so nervous about sending her off away from us! It’ll be good for her but wow it’s hard just thinking about it right now. We’re trying to put her in more activities and then summer camps to get her ready but I’m thinking of next school year with a mix of joy and dread.

The biggest challenge for clingy kids who know only home and family or private nannies is, in my experience, not the kids' ability to adapt to PS3. The issue is parents - as it almost always is with kids. My kid cried their eyes out at drop off every day for a week or two. I reminded myself that my kid was going to be fine and they were taking their cues from me. I hugged them, but then told them I'd see them at pick up and walked away. Most kids who react this way are only doing it to manipulate parents. Once they figure out they are going to go back every day they relax and usually love pre-school. I watched in horror parents who were in tears as they left their kids in class each day and then had the audacity to say their kids weren't ready; as if their behavior wasn't the driver of the way the kids reacted.

I'm sure lots of DCUM readers will take offence to this, but parents who say "my kid isn't ready" are projecting. Your kid will be fine. If this is emotional for you and you need to melt down for the first few days/weeks, do yourself and your kid a favor and DON"T do it in front of them.

P.S. PS3 teachers are inhuman gods. I cannot imagine having to deal with a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds every day. I used to volunteer for an hour or two and I went straight home for bourbon!

There's some truth to this. Some. Parents can make clinginess worse and sometimes the clinginess is caused by parents who are making basic mistakes in terms of drop-off or the way they talk about school or some other way that they convey to the child that school isn't the right place for them.

But also some kids are clingier than others. Some kids are slow to warm. Being among the youngest can be a factor, as can prior experience in group care settings (or lack thereof). A preschooler who is struggling with separation anxiety is not some weird outlier and you don't need to indict the parents for it -- it's not an abnormal behavior and most kids grow out of it with time.

Also, if you haven't experienced having a child who is among the youngest in their cohort, maybe don't assume you know what the deal is. I have an August birthday and some things are harder/different for my kid, at least in ECE grades. He is almost a full year younger than some other kids in class. This is neither good nor bad, it is just how it is. If you see my kid crying at drop off, assuming that I'm just a bad parent instead of considering "oh that child is at a different place developmentally than some other kids in class" is just very arrogant. You don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, the lack of engagement in this thread suggests (if anything) there will be less demand. Obvious DCUM is hardly representative of the general population, but this thread has faded a few times now. The lack of clamoring for this thread suggests there may not be as many people (which may be more broadly true as well).

Or, the lack of engagement suggests that this forum on DCUM is a viper's nest of some pretty nasty humans and after the trauma of the last few years and what's going on ore broadly with social media, people have decided to destress. Not participating in this garage is part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m nervous about my kid starting preschool. She’s a COVID baby who has been at home with a parent or a relative since she was born, and I’m so nervous about sending her off away from us! It’ll be good for her but wow it’s hard just thinking about it right now. We’re trying to put her in more activities and then summer camps to get her ready but I’m thinking of next school year with a mix of joy and dread.

The biggest challenge for clingy kids who know only home and family or private nannies is, in my experience, not the kids' ability to adapt to PS3. The issue is parents - as it almost always is with kids. My kid cried their eyes out at drop off every day for a week or two. I reminded myself that my kid was going to be fine and they were taking their cues from me. I hugged them, but then told them I'd see them at pick up and walked away. Most kids who react this way are only doing it to manipulate parents. Once they figure out they are going to go back every day they relax and usually love pre-school. I watched in horror parents who were in tears as they left their kids in class each day and then had the audacity to say their kids weren't ready; as if their behavior wasn't the driver of the way the kids reacted.

I'm sure lots of DCUM readers will take offence to this, but parents who say "my kid isn't ready" are projecting. Your kid will be fine. If this is emotional for you and you need to melt down for the first few days/weeks, do yourself and your kid a favor and DON"T do it in front of them.

P.S. PS3 teachers are inhuman gods. I cannot imagine having to deal with a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds every day. I used to volunteer for an hour or two and I went straight home for bourbon!

No. Most kids at this age don't manipulate parents. You may feel like that's what is happening but developmentally, this is highly unlikely. Kids cry at drop off for any number of reasons and most are fine once inside. Your assessment of parents projecting readiness may be true but I do take offense to use describing a 3 year old as manipulative.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m still nervous, but coming to terms that PK3 is pretty much a win anywhere and trying to focus on helping DS with his transition from daycare to school. but I know I’ll be more freaked out the closer it gets. Also was interesting to watch the private school forum post last Friday for their decision day. A bit different bc of the selection process obviously but seeing the anxiety, anticipation, then relief/acceptance. I imagine I’ll be refreshing my screen like crazy the day our results are posted but until then, I’m good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m still nervous, but coming to terms that PK3 is pretty much a win anywhere and trying to focus on helping DS with his transition from daycare to school. but I know I’ll be more freaked out the closer it gets. Also was interesting to watch the private school forum post last Friday for their decision day. A bit different bc of the selection process obviously but seeing the anxiety, anticipation, then relief/acceptance. I imagine I’ll be refreshing my screen like crazy the day our results are posted but until then, I’m good.

Just a reminder, lottery in the past comes out around 10/10:30pm the night before

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m still nervous, but coming to terms that PK3 is pretty much a win anywhere and trying to focus on helping DS with his transition from daycare to school. but I know I’ll be more freaked out the closer it gets. Also was interesting to watch the private school forum post last Friday for their decision day. A bit different bc of the selection process obviously but seeing the anxiety, anticipation, then relief/acceptance. I imagine I’ll be refreshing my screen like crazy the day our results are posted but until then, I’m good.

Just a reminder, lottery in the past comes out around 10/10:30pm the night before

What?? Why not advertise it for the next day? Who releases something at literally the 11th hour? Ugh thanks for the heads up. I’ll just wait until Saturday or DCUM let’s me know it’s up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m still nervous, but coming to terms that PK3 is pretty much a win anywhere and trying to focus on helping DS with his transition from daycare to school. but I know I’ll be more freaked out the closer it gets. Also was interesting to watch the private school forum post last Friday for their decision day. A bit different bc of the selection process obviously but seeing the anxiety, anticipation, then relief/acceptance. I imagine I’ll be refreshing my screen like crazy the day our results are posted but until then, I’m good.

Just a reminder, lottery in the past comes out around 10/10:30pm the night before

What?? Why not advertise it for the next day? Who releases something at literally the 11th hour? Ugh thanks for the heads up. I’ll just wait until Saturday or DCUM let’s me know it’s up.

The results usually come out the night *before* the advertised release date, so yes, they essentially advertise it for the next day and then release the results early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m nervous about my kid starting preschool. She’s a COVID baby who has been at home with a parent or a relative since she was born, and I’m so nervous about sending her off away from us! It’ll be good for her but wow it’s hard just thinking about it right now. We’re trying to put her in more activities and then summer camps to get her ready but I’m thinking of next school year with a mix of joy and dread.

The biggest challenge for clingy kids who know only home and family or private nannies is, in my experience, not the kids' ability to adapt to PS3. The issue is parents - as it almost always is with kids. My kid cried their eyes out at drop off every day for a week or two. I reminded myself that my kid was going to be fine and they were taking their cues from me. I hugged them, but then told them I'd see them at pick up and walked away. Most kids who react this way are only doing it to manipulate parents. Once they figure out they are going to go back every day they relax and usually love pre-school. I watched in horror parents who were in tears as they left their kids in class each day and then had the audacity to say their kids weren't ready; as if their behavior wasn't the driver of the way the kids reacted.

I'm sure lots of DCUM readers will take offence to this, but parents who say "my kid isn't ready" are projecting. Your kid will be fine. If this is emotional for you and you need to melt down for the first few days/weeks, do yourself and your kid a favor and DON"T do it in front of them.

P.S. PS3 teachers are inhuman gods. I cannot imagine having to deal with a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds every day. I used to volunteer for an hour or two and I went straight home for bourbon!

There's some truth to this. Some. Parents can make clinginess worse and sometimes the clinginess is caused by parents who are making basic mistakes in terms of drop-off or the way they talk about school or some other way that they convey to the child that school isn't the right place for them.

But also some kids are clingier than others. Some kids are slow to warm. Being among the youngest can be a factor, as can prior experience in group care settings (or lack thereof). A preschooler who is struggling with separation anxiety is not some weird outlier and you don't need to indict the parents for it -- it's not an abnormal behavior and most kids grow out of it with time.

Also, if you haven't experienced having a child who is among the youngest in their cohort, maybe don't assume you know what the deal is. I have an August birthday and some things are harder/different for my kid, at least in ECE grades. He is almost a full year younger than some other kids in class. This is neither good nor bad, it is just how it is. If you see my kid crying at drop off, assuming that I'm just a bad parent instead of considering "oh that child is at a different place developmentally than some other kids in class" is just very arrogant. You don't know.

"There's some truth to this", now allow me to illustrate your point and show you how parents like me lack any self awareness and in fact do exactly what you accused us of doing. Also, we're martyrs and you are persecuting us.