Rating yourself as a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone asked me this yesterday and I answered B+. Kids are in their low 30s.
Brought it up to my 2 daughters and told them what I gave myself. One daughter said an A.
The other daughter said she didn't want to hurt my feelings but she was frustrated and hurt at some things that happened in her childhood. And still is.
I have no idea what she means.
I said I was open to hearing her truth.

It makes me feel defensive, of course. I grew up in a single parent household with no money, we simply survived the best we could.
I've had to forgive my parents for being broken people themselves. THey did the best they could.

sigh...

That's what surprises me about this topic. People who are irresponsible, have more children and less resources, their children tend to be more forgiving to them, compared to people who have less children, more resources and try their best to do it right.

I think its more like Stockholm Syndrome, kids are groomed from beginning to not criticize parents but justify their behaviors.

Maybe children of parents with more resources are less forgiving because they know their parents should’ve known better. Fewer excuses.

Whoever tries harder, gets judged harder. Just look at college admissions, frugal parents who save more, have to pay more, ones who spend irresponsibly lavishly, pay much much less.

[Anonymous]

Even parents want better grades from hard working kids, no one expects more from slackers who can barely care to pass.

[Anonymous]

Nobody asks why you became a SAHM or SAHD if you barely finished college but everyone would judge you if you became one with a law or medicine degree.

[Anonymous]

Best employees get to redo crappy work of their colleagues.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a very unfair question to ask a child. Either they're going to inflate their answer because they don't want to hurt your feelings, or they're going to be honest and hurt your feelings. No one is an A+. This whole thing is about getting validation that puts the child in a very uncomfortable place.

Asking your child "what were some things about your childhood you wish were different?" would be a much more welcoming question.

This whole thing gives me the ick.

[Anonymous]

Before I had kids I'd have given my parents C's. Now that I have my own, I give them A for effort and think all parents that aren't outright abusers deserve participation trophies at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a very unfair question to ask a child. Either they're going to inflate their answer because they don't want to hurt your feelings, or they're going to be honest and hurt your feelings. No one is an A+. This whole thing is about getting validation that puts the child in a very uncomfortable place.

Asking your child "what were some things about your childhood you wish were different?" would be a much more welcoming question.

This whole thing gives me the ick.

It gives the cold an opportunity to get something off their chest. It’s a way to reach out. When my kids grow up, I’d love to hear how I did, maybe we can discuss. I can also have an opportunity to discuss where I was coming from. Maybe something can resonate with their kids. Maybe I’ll have a chance to say ‘I did tjis, but don’t do it with your kids, bc …)