Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A person who still lives at home after 35, is likely never going to leave. This board has helped me accept that my 20- and 22-year-old will be with me for a while. I was hoping to have an empty nest soon, but they are both male/late bloomers with limited drive to move out.

Do you even hear yourself? Reread what you wrote here and pretend a total stranger wrote it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love if my DD wanted to live with us in some capacity for a long time. I adore her. I'd want some separation and privacy (separate apartment with separate entrance and not every meal together or having her reliant on us for social life) and I would expect her to contribute to the household (pay some kind of rent, though probably not market rent, do chores, etc.). But having her nearby, being in each others lives more than a lot of kids in their 20s are? I'd love that. I'm going to miss her so much.

She'll want to go though. She's very independent and always has been. She loves us but she wants to do her own thing, she has big plans. I love that about her. She's going to do great. But if she ever needed to come back, for any reason? Open arms.

Don't think that just because she wants to be independent means she will be. It was what I wanted more than anything, but I didn't get it until I was 28. Applying for jobs isn't enough. The employers need to like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love if my DD wanted to live with us in some capacity for a long time. I adore her. I'd want some separation and privacy (separate apartment with separate entrance and not every meal together or having her reliant on us for social life) and I would expect her to contribute to the household (pay some kind of rent, though probably not market rent, do chores, etc.). But having her nearby, being in each others lives more than a lot of kids in their 20s are? I'd love that. I'm going to miss her so much.

She'll want to go though. She's very independent and always has been. She loves us but she wants to do her own thing, she has big plans. I love that about her. She's going to do great. But if she ever needed to come back, for any reason? Open arms.

Don't think that just because she wants to be independent means she will be. It was what I wanted more than anything, but I didn't get it until I was 28. Applying for jobs isn't enough. The employers need to like you.

Seek help.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone posted this Pew Research article from 3 years ago? (2020(


https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/

52% of young adults lived with their parents as of 3 years ago

I googled around and it seems to be up to 58% live at home today.

Inflation, Coronavirus, leaving jobs/carreer force, and the impending recession, drasticaly declining marriage rates, all seem to be driving educated adults to mave back into their parents' houses.


New normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this Pew Research article from 3 years ago? (2020(


https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/

52% of young adults lived with their parents as of 3 years ago

I googled around and it seems to be up to 58% live at home today.

Inflation, Coronavirus, leaving jobs/carreer force, and the impending recession, drasticaly declining marriage rates, all seem to be driving educated adults to mave back into their parents' houses.


New normal.

Yikes. Supporting my children after college is not a part of my retirement plan.

[Anonymous]

My adult DD, who graduated from college last year, intentionally chose to target jobs in cities like Philadelphia, Columbus, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Kansas City, STL etc rather than SF/NYC/DC/LA. There are trade-offs to that obviously, but it does mean she can afford to comfortably live in a nice 1BR on an entry-level salary.

[Anonymous]

Tell that to my neighbor’s stoner kid who has no reason to work when his parents let him stay rent free and high all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this Pew Research article from 3 years ago? (2020(


https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/

52% of young adults lived with their parents as of 3 years ago

I googled around and it seems to be up to 58% live at home today.

Inflation, Coronavirus, leaving jobs/carreer force, and the impending recession, drasticaly declining marriage rates, all seem to be driving educated adults to mave back into their parents' houses.


New normal.

Yikes. Supporting my children after college is not a part of my retirement plan.

It wasn't part of my plan. My plan was to get a 50k+ as soon as I graduated from college in move straight into a studio apartment. But unfortunately, not everyone is equally gifted at being able to impress employers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this Pew Research article from 3 years ago? (2020(


https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/

52% of young adults lived with their parents as of 3 years ago

I googled around and it seems to be up to 58% live at home today.

Inflation, Coronavirus, leaving jobs/carreer force, and the impending recession, drasticaly declining marriage rates, all seem to be driving educated adults to mave back into their parents' houses.


New normal.

Yikes. Supporting my children after college is not a part of my retirement plan.

It wasn't part of my plan. My plan was to get a 50k+ as soon as I graduated from college in move straight into a studio apartment. But unfortunately, not everyone is equally gifted at being able to impress employers

Why couldn’t you move farther out, live with roommates or move to a lower COL area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this Pew Research article from 3 years ago? (2020(


https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-adults-in-the-u-s-live-with-their-parents-for-the-first-time-since-the-great-depression/

52% of young adults lived with their parents as of 3 years ago

I googled around and it seems to be up to 58% live at home today.

Inflation, Coronavirus, leaving jobs/carreer force, and the impending recession, drasticaly declining marriage rates, all seem to be driving educated adults to mave back into their parents' houses.


New normal.

Yikes. Supporting my children after college is not a part of my retirement plan.

It wasn't part of my plan. My plan was to get a 50k+ as soon as I graduated from college in move straight into a studio apartment. But unfortunately, not everyone is equally gifted at being able to impress employers

Why couldn’t you move farther out, live with roommates or move to a lower COL area?

I have autism and can be pretty tough to get along with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My adult DD, who graduated from college last year, intentionally chose to target jobs in cities like Philadelphia, Columbus, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Kansas City, STL etc rather than SF/NYC/DC/LA. There are trade-offs to that obviously, but it does mean she can afford to comfortably live in a nice 1BR on an entry-level salary.

Wise young lady!

[Anonymous]

It's ok to live with parents when you are an adult but the person has to be fully functional on their own and financially secured and contribute to some expenses if not chores around the house. It's not about the money, it's about responsibilities.

I have an adult sibling living with mom elderly mom. Not financially secured, jobless. That is a perfect example of not good. Recently, she had a mental breakdown when I threatened to sell the house-yes, My house, that I don't live in. Now, it is a HUGE mess with mental illness involve. Bad mess. It just gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an older millennial. I love my kids and plan to fully pay for their undergrad and buy them a car at 18. The buck stops there. No way are they living with me as adults. None of them have special needs. I moved out for college at 18 and only came home for Christmas breaks, lined up a job at graduation (because I chose a sensible major and did internships) and moved into an apartment. I expect the same of my kids and NFW I am going to create a dependent relationship between us after they graduate college. I personally view that as bad parenting, but this is just my opinion, passed down to me from my own parents. I respect that other cultures do it differently. I don't, however, respect adults who feel entitled to live with their parents.

I hope they cut you off as soon as you kick them out.

Really? My parents sent me away for college and I never moved back home accept over some winter breaks. I tell them all the time how grateful I am for everything they did for me, especially my expensive education. When we go out to dinner, we insist on buying. We host them over the holidays. We talk on the phone a couple times a week. My mom, sister and I take a girls' trip once a year, and I make it a point to meet up with my dad and do things he enjoys with him. These are the parents who "kicked me out" when I was 18. The ones I didn't feel entitled to mooch off of after I graduated college.

Like I've said repeatedly, I didn't want to mooch off my parents for as I did. But my prospective employers didn't seem to think my parents deserved a break from me as much as I did. You're lucky you got a stable job right out of college. I, on the other hand, repeatedly applied for such jobs, but because of my personality(which I don't have control over by the way) I was deemed no fun to work with.

What's wrong with your personality?

[Anonymous]

My ex is a lawyer and still lives with his dad. It’s pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an older millennial. I love my kids and plan to fully pay for their undergrad and buy them a car at 18. The buck stops there. No way are they living with me as adults. None of them have special needs. I moved out for college at 18 and only came home for Christmas breaks, lined up a job at graduation (because I chose a sensible major and did internships) and moved into an apartment. I expect the same of my kids and NFW I am going to create a dependent relationship between us after they graduate college. I personally view that as bad parenting, but this is just my opinion, passed down to me from my own parents. I respect that other cultures do it differently. I don't, however, respect adults who feel entitled to live with their parents.

I hope they cut you off as soon as you kick them out.

Really? My parents sent me away for college and I never moved back home accept over some winter breaks. I tell them all the time how grateful I am for everything they did for me, especially my expensive education. When we go out to dinner, we insist on buying. We host them over the holidays. We talk on the phone a couple times a week. My mom, sister and I take a girls' trip once a year, and I make it a point to meet up with my dad and do things he enjoys with him. These are the parents who "kicked me out" when I was 18. The ones I didn't feel entitled to mooch off of after I graduated college.

Here's an idea. How about you don't let your parents mooch you either.