Middle age DH career boost

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your wife is stressed and is romanticizing staying home. I don’t think it’s fair she should pressure you to make enough to allow her to do that. I’m a woman, BTW. I think an equal partnership requires equal weight on decision-making, so unless you also want to ramp up and her to stay home, you need to make a plan together that works for you both. You may have done that, but your posts don’t sound that way at all.

My wife after birth of first quit. I was making $69k a year. She cried and promised to cut every expense to bone. She never went back. We had three kids. We had a small starter home at time in a second tier neighborhood we bought with a big downpayment and a paid off Camry and Ford Taurus.

She promised I could work as many hours I want, travel business, do what I want to support my career. I had a five year plan to double my salary to make it work.

I went from 69k to 140k in five years. Barely made that goal. But next five years went from 140k to 280k then next five years 280k to 330k then it peaked.

Women underestimated working holds their husbands career back. I do wish my wife kept working. And I do think this is not a man thing. My sister her husband stayed home 10 years.

But I was guy in office early, staying late, traveling for work, meeting with regulators, external auditors, board. Available moments notice.

You also not need to be silly and “mission driven” work where they pay and do the job no one wants and jobs with pressure and long hours. That is what I did. Otherwise you can’t shine. My big promotion that set me up I was at work in a super super demanding high profile project I was gone 7 am to 8-9 pm for 52 weeks straight without a vacation day and had a 3 and 1 year old at home. That project set me up my big promotion which put chain of moving up on full throttle.

This guy should get the rock on his back. My wife has the kids I have my career my other dual income sister and husband has nothing in one sense she did not really raise her three kids her Mexican nanny and childcare did and neither could focus on career. In end they are now 65 and she is not close to kids and he had a horrible lame career of nothing. He even told me sad his lifelong resume does not have one single big job ot big raise just 44 years of crappy jobs.

Let this guy fly. He could easily be making 300k in 5-7 years

Your are a total and complete douche bag. I'm pretty sure if your family knew what you said about them in your penultimate paragraph, they'd cut you out of your family for life.

Congrats on your less than impressive IT career.

I actually was part of building multiple systems. On line fidelity app, whole Fannie and Freddie MBS system, fin tech apps, BNPL, Crypto, mobile banking, surveillance tools. I picked it all up starting at age of 34. I am funny as I am old but really only started IT in a big way at 45. Never too old to learn. I use apps and systems I say 90 percent of people use daily that I touched. Heck I even build part of software they wrote a book about. That was funny

Your borderline illiterate writing style captivates me. I read it and I wonder if you are on drugs or drunk out of your mind. But every now and then there's a coherent phrase that keeps me reading.

[Anonymous]

Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

I networked on LinkedIn mostly then set up coffees and intro meetings by reaching out to ppl. Both those w open roles and those without. A lot of messaging. The truth is you have to put in about 10 hours extra a week beyond your job at least to both get and then maintain a more challenging role. But I would argue it’s more valuable to your family for you to work a couple extra hours a night and on the weekend (do it when they’re watching tv or asleep) than for you to be ‘there’ at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

Dw should not quit entirely if you’re taking high risk jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

I networked on LinkedIn mostly then set up coffees and intro meetings by reaching out to ppl. Both those w open roles and those without. A lot of messaging. The truth is you have to put in about 10 hours extra a week beyond your job at least to both get and then maintain a more challenging role. But I would argue it’s more valuable to your family for you to work a couple extra hours a night and on the weekend (do it when they’re watching tv or asleep) than for you to be ‘there’ at all times.

Wow, so like cold messages local folks in target industry and asked to meet??? I’m not sure one that bold, probably why I’m an SME not tech sales!

I’m a very niche SME in a technical field, have no contracting or budget power at my employee — I am a little unsure how much people would like to meet me just for informational interviews with a middle aged man? Are people really this generous of their time??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

I networked on LinkedIn mostly then set up coffees and intro meetings by reaching out to ppl. Both those w open roles and those without. A lot of messaging. The truth is you have to put in about 10 hours extra a week beyond your job at least to both get and then maintain a more challenging role. But I would argue it’s more valuable to your family for you to work a couple extra hours a night and on the weekend (do it when they’re watching tv or asleep) than for you to be ‘there’ at all times.

Wow, so like cold messages local folks in target industry and asked to meet??? I’m not sure one that bold, probably why I’m an SME not tech sales!

I’m a very niche SME in a technical field, have no contracting or budget power at my employee — I am a little unsure how much people would like to meet me just for informational interviews with a middle aged man? Are people really this generous of their time??

It’s kind of hard for me to judge but you have to target the kind of people that you could really help. So in my case I’m really good at social media - so I had a story to tell and I reached out to ppl who needed social media help. If you have a particular tech expertise then find the big dogs in the world of that and reach out and say (making this up) I am amazing at coding back end architecture for large multi national defense corps and am a huge fan of (insert contractor name) and would love to connect.’ Also in tech you should look at the app blind and get some advice there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your wife is stressed and is romanticizing staying home. I don’t think it’s fair she should pressure you to make enough to allow her to do that. I’m a woman, BTW. I think an equal partnership requires equal weight on decision-making, so unless you also want to ramp up and her to stay home, you need to make a plan together that works for you both. You may have done that, but your posts don’t sound that way at all.

My wife after birth of first quit. I was making $69k a year. She cried and promised to cut every expense to bone. She never went back. We had three kids. We had a small starter home at time in a second tier neighborhood we bought with a big downpayment and a paid off Camry and Ford Taurus.

She promised I could work as many hours I want, travel business, do what I want to support my career. I had a five year plan to double my salary to make it work.

I went from 69k to 140k in five years. Barely made that goal. But next five years went from 140k to 280k then next five years 280k to 330k then it peaked.

Women underestimated working holds their husbands career back. I do wish my wife kept working. And I do think this is not a man thing. My sister her husband stayed home 10 years.

But I was guy in office early, staying late, traveling for work, meeting with regulators, external auditors, board. Available moments notice.

You also not need to be silly and “mission driven” work where they pay and do the job no one wants and jobs with pressure and long hours. That is what I did. Otherwise you can’t shine. My big promotion that set me up I was at work in a super super demanding high profile project I was gone 7 am to 8-9 pm for 52 weeks straight without a vacation day and had a 3 and 1 year old at home. That project set me up my big promotion which put chain of moving up on full throttle.

This guy should get the rock on his back. My wife has the kids I have my career my other dual income sister and husband has nothing in one sense she did not really raise her three kids her Mexican nanny and childcare did and neither could focus on career. In end they are now 65 and she is not close to kids and he had a horrible lame career of nothing. He even told me sad his lifelong resume does not have one single big job ot big raise just 44 years of crappy jobs.

Let this guy fly. He could easily be making 300k in 5-7 years

You worked that many hrs nonstop without a vacation day and missed the year your kids were 1 and 3, all to make $300k? That's pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

Did you set up an angelist profile?
I get periodic pings from COO for director roles at startups on there. Be prepared to work a ton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your wife is stressed and is romanticizing staying home. I don’t think it’s fair she should pressure you to make enough to allow her to do that. I’m a woman, BTW. I think an equal partnership requires equal weight on decision-making, so unless you also want to ramp up and her to stay home, you need to make a plan together that works for you both. You may have done that, but your posts don’t sound that way at all.

My wife after birth of first quit. I was making $69k a year. She cried and promised to cut every expense to bone. She never went back. We had three kids. We had a small starter home at time in a second tier neighborhood we bought with a big downpayment and a paid off Camry and Ford Taurus.

She promised I could work as many hours I want, travel business, do what I want to support my career. I had a five year plan to double my salary to make it work.

I went from 69k to 140k in five years. Barely made that goal. But next five years went from 140k to 280k then next five years 280k to 330k then it peaked.

Women underestimated working holds their husbands career back. I do wish my wife kept working. And I do think this is not a man thing. My sister her husband stayed home 10 years.

But I was guy in office early, staying late, traveling for work, meeting with regulators, external auditors, board. Available moments notice.

You also not need to be silly and “mission driven” work where they pay and do the job no one wants and jobs with pressure and long hours. That is what I did. Otherwise you can’t shine. My big promotion that set me up I was at work in a super super demanding high profile project I was gone 7 am to 8-9 pm for 52 weeks straight without a vacation day and had a 3 and 1 year old at home. That project set me up my big promotion which put chain of moving up on full throttle.

This guy should get the rock on his back. My wife has the kids I have my career my other dual income sister and husband has nothing in one sense she did not really raise her three kids her Mexican nanny and childcare did and neither could focus on career. In end they are now 65 and she is not close to kids and he had a horrible lame career of nothing. He even told me sad his lifelong resume does not have one single big job ot big raise just 44 years of crappy jobs.

Let this guy fly. He could easily be making 300k in 5-7 years

You worked that many hrs nonstop without a vacation day and missed the year your kids were 1 and 3, all to make $300k? That's pretty sad.

You really think I want yo run home to dirty diapers and a shit show. Showing up when dinner on microwave, just on time for a bedtime story is perfect timing. I actually was trying for a $500k job but I pivoted to a cushy corner office job for 10 years. I started that one a few months before third born, after that ten years back on road with 48 business trips in one year!!!! I am now WFH last 3 years. I peaked at $800,000. So I got from $69,000 at age of 38 to $800,000 at age of 55. All with a 2.6 college GPA from a crappy college.

My kids get stressed if I am home and my wife gets very stressed. When money flowing in everyone happy. People in particular miss 40-50 is when you need to be balls to wall but snowflakes back off in mid 30s. If anything goof off 21-35 and save your energy for go time.

Also people miss 55-65 is also go time. Those board slots and consulting gigs are hard as hell to get. Takes you 5-8 years to land something and once retired impossible to get. Look at Barabara Walters she retired 86. Our career at 45 has 30 years to go. Who knows maybe at 80 I will run for President. Maybe at 90 find cure for cancer. Maybe climb Mount Everest at 100. Always reinvent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your wife is stressed and is romanticizing staying home. I don’t think it’s fair she should pressure you to make enough to allow her to do that. I’m a woman, BTW. I think an equal partnership requires equal weight on decision-making, so unless you also want to ramp up and her to stay home, you need to make a plan together that works for you both. You may have done that, but your posts don’t sound that way at all.

My wife after birth of first quit. I was making $69k a year. She cried and promised to cut every expense to bone. She never went back. We had three kids. We had a small starter home at time in a second tier neighborhood we bought with a big downpayment and a paid off Camry and Ford Taurus.

She promised I could work as many hours I want, travel business, do what I want to support my career. I had a five year plan to double my salary to make it work.

I went from 69k to 140k in five years. Barely made that goal. But next five years went from 140k to 280k then next five years 280k to 330k then it peaked.

Women underestimated working holds their husbands career back. I do wish my wife kept working. And I do think this is not a man thing. My sister her husband stayed home 10 years.

But I was guy in office early, staying late, traveling for work, meeting with regulators, external auditors, board. Available moments notice.

You also not need to be silly and “mission driven” work where they pay and do the job no one wants and jobs with pressure and long hours. That is what I did. Otherwise you can’t shine. My big promotion that set me up I was at work in a super super demanding high profile project I was gone 7 am to 8-9 pm for 52 weeks straight without a vacation day and had a 3 and 1 year old at home. That project set me up my big promotion which put chain of moving up on full throttle.

This guy should get the rock on his back. My wife has the kids I have my career my other dual income sister and husband has nothing in one sense she did not really raise her three kids her Mexican nanny and childcare did and neither could focus on career. In end they are now 65 and she is not close to kids and he had a horrible lame career of nothing. He even told me sad his lifelong resume does not have one single big job ot big raise just 44 years of crappy jobs.

Let this guy fly. He could easily be making 300k in 5-7 years

You worked that many hrs nonstop without a vacation day and missed the year your kids were 1 and 3, all to make $300k? That's pretty sad.

You really think I want yo run home to dirty diapers and a shit show. Showing up when dinner on microwave, just on time for a bedtime story is perfect timing. I actually was trying for a $500k job but I pivoted to a cushy corner office job for 10 years. I started that one a few months before third born, after that ten years back on road with 48 business trips in one year!!!! I am now WFH last 3 years. I peaked at $800,000. So I got from $69,000 at age of 38 to $800,000 at age of 55. All with a 2.6 college GPA from a crappy college.

My kids get stressed if I am home and my wife gets very stressed. When money flowing in everyone happy. People in particular miss 40-50 is when you need to be balls to wall but snowflakes back off in mid 30s. If anything goof off 21-35 and save your energy for go time.

Also people miss 55-65 is also go time. Those board slots and consulting gigs are hard as hell to get. Takes you 5-8 years to land something and once retired impossible to get. Look at Barabara Walters she retired 86. Our career at 45 has 30 years to go. Who knows maybe at 80 I will run for President. Maybe at 90 find cure for cancer. Maybe climb Mount Everest at 100. Always reinvent.

So in essence, after 35, working for someone else under a cushy corporate umbrella is no longer an option!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your wife is stressed and is romanticizing staying home. I don’t think it’s fair she should pressure you to make enough to allow her to do that. I’m a woman, BTW. I think an equal partnership requires equal weight on decision-making, so unless you also want to ramp up and her to stay home, you need to make a plan together that works for you both. You may have done that, but your posts don’t sound that way at all.

My wife after birth of first quit. I was making $69k a year. She cried and promised to cut every expense to bone. She never went back. We had three kids. We had a small starter home at time in a second tier neighborhood we bought with a big downpayment and a paid off Camry and Ford Taurus.

She promised I could work as many hours I want, travel business, do what I want to support my career. I had a five year plan to double my salary to make it work.

I went from 69k to 140k in five years. Barely made that goal. But next five years went from 140k to 280k then next five years 280k to 330k then it peaked.

Women underestimated working holds their husbands career back. I do wish my wife kept working. And I do think this is not a man thing. My sister her husband stayed home 10 years.

But I was guy in office early, staying late, traveling for work, meeting with regulators, external auditors, board. Available moments notice.

You also not need to be silly and “mission driven” work where they pay and do the job no one wants and jobs with pressure and long hours. That is what I did. Otherwise you can’t shine. My big promotion that set me up I was at work in a super super demanding high profile project I was gone 7 am to 8-9 pm for 52 weeks straight without a vacation day and had a 3 and 1 year old at home. That project set me up my big promotion which put chain of moving up on full throttle.

This guy should get the rock on his back. My wife has the kids I have my career my other dual income sister and husband has nothing in one sense she did not really raise her three kids her Mexican nanny and childcare did and neither could focus on career. In end they are now 65 and she is not close to kids and he had a horrible lame career of nothing. He even told me sad his lifelong resume does not have one single big job ot big raise just 44 years of crappy jobs.

Let this guy fly. He could easily be making 300k in 5-7 years

You worked that many hrs nonstop without a vacation day and missed the year your kids were 1 and 3, all to make $300k? That's pretty sad.

You really think I want yo run home to dirty diapers and a shit show. Showing up when dinner on microwave, just on time for a bedtime story is perfect timing. I actually was trying for a $500k job but I pivoted to a cushy corner office job for 10 years. I started that one a few months before third born, after that ten years back on road with 48 business trips in one year!!!! I am now WFH last 3 years. I peaked at $800,000. So I got from $69,000 at age of 38 to $800,000 at age of 55. All with a 2.6 college GPA from a crappy college.

My kids get stressed if I am home and my wife gets very stressed. When money flowing in everyone happy. People in particular miss 40-50 is when you need to be balls to wall but snowflakes back off in mid 30s. If anything goof off 21-35 and save your energy for go time.

Also people miss 55-65 is also go time. Those board slots and consulting gigs are hard as hell to get. Takes you 5-8 years to land something and once retired impossible to get. Look at Barabara Walters she retired 86. Our career at 45 has 30 years to go. Who knows maybe at 80 I will run for President. Maybe at 90 find cure for cancer. Maybe climb Mount Everest at 100. Always reinvent.

While you're the king of bizarre posts, this is the saddest thing I've read in a long time. You only see your kids for a couple minutes per day, and apparently both your wife and kids hate you being present. And you're bragging about this life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - anyone who tells you you can’t increase your salary is lying. Here’s my trajectory and I am not a troll (but am nyc):
Age 37 - $110 (media) switch job to $130 and step up. Age 39 switched to $180 in new company plus bonus. Got raised at that company the second year to $250 plus bonus. Switched age 41 to new company (also startup) and got tc $300, then switched when that company folded age 43 and got $430 plus bonuses of varying types - now at 45 am at $800 all in. But I have worked insane insane insane hours to be ‘worth’ that much and also clearly job hopped my way up. You just gotta hustle like crazy - you can do it. But you will have to find a way to pull 10 hour days - so if you want to stop work from 6-8 then you gotta jump back online once kids in bed. Good luck!

How did you find those jobs? I have literally applied to hundred jobs over the last couple years, many interviews and probably a dozen offers, and all paid lesss than my current contracting job!! Did you ever take a lower paying job and count on income rising fast — how do you identify that opportunity?

Did you switch fields?

A million applications, endless networking - I didn’t exactly change fields but I added strings to my bow each time and always had steep learning curves. Startups are the key - I chose lack of job security (but did not take job cuts per se). I took some jobs that others would have considered much less reputable than the org I was at. Also looked all over the us.

How were you networking? Do you have kids? It’s hard to go to after work events when we have family dinner — and my current job no one ever leaves so no natural network building there!

All over the US is hard — I just want a chance to have more challenging and better paying work without giving up all home life — unless the pay is high enough off the bat for DW to just quit. It’s like the Temple of Doom bag of sand for the scull!

I networked on LinkedIn mostly then set up coffees and intro meetings by reaching out to ppl. Both those w open roles and those without. A lot of messaging. The truth is you have to put in about 10 hours extra a week beyond your job at least to both get and then maintain a more challenging role. But I would argue it’s more valuable to your family for you to work a couple extra hours a night and on the weekend (do it when they’re watching tv or asleep) than for you to be ‘there’ at all times.

Wow, so like cold messages local folks in target industry and asked to meet??? I’m not sure one that bold, probably why I’m an SME not tech sales!

I’m a very niche SME in a technical field, have no contracting or budget power at my employee — I am a little unsure how much people would like to meet me just for informational interviews with a middle aged man? Are people really this generous of their time??

It’s kind of hard for me to judge but you have to target the kind of people that you could really help. So in my case I’m really good at social media - so I had a story to tell and I reached out to ppl who needed social media help. If you have a particular tech expertise then find the big dogs in the world of that and reach out and say (making this up) I am amazing at coding back end architecture for large multi national defense corps and am a huge fan of (insert contractor name) and would love to connect.’ Also in tech you should look at the app blind and get some advice there

You make $800k from social networking? I can’t even fathom how that works? Do you write Disneys twitter feed or something?