Middle age DH career boost

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

Yes, we bought an expensive house to be close to DW work and have decent schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

You’re living beyond your means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

We moved to exurb (Howard or Anne arundel in Maryland for example)
If you have telework flexibility it’s do-able.
Look, you are doing all this to please your wife but it might not work. she might:
hate solo parenting with a workaholic spouse or
regret giving up her career which she’s good at

And anyway do you really want to miss out on your kids growing up?
You can’t make a spouse happy by earning more when you already earn six figures. You are a good dad, a good provider, a good partner. If she’s unhappy then you guys can look for other ways to fix that (move further out, take a sabbatical year family trip, move abroad, etc) but don’t sacrifice time with your kids on a hunch that you think she wants or needs a c-suite husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

We moved to exurb (Howard or Anne arundel in Maryland for example)
If you have telework flexibility it’s do-able.
Look, you are doing all this to please your wife but it might not work. she might:
hate solo parenting with a workaholic spouse or
regret giving up her career which she’s good at

And anyway do you really want to miss out on your kids growing up?
You can’t make a spouse happy by earning more when you already earn six figures. You are a good dad, a good provider, a good partner. If she’s unhappy then you guys can look for other ways to fix that (move further out, take a sabbatical year family trip, move abroad, etc) but don’t sacrifice time with your kids on a hunch that you think she wants or needs a c-suite husband.

It’s all irrelevant because op will not be able to move to the c-suite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

You’re living beyond your means.

So anyone making $300k has a house that cost less than $900k? So you all live outside the beltway or in townhouses? PP lives in an exurb, which means we would lose 12 hours a week each just commuting.

I can’t believe people making $300+ choose such soul sucking commutes? Sure TODAY for some telework is an option (but is not for our jobs). And when we bought telework was not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

You’re living beyond your means.

So anyone making $300k has a house that cost less than $900k? So you all live outside the beltway or in townhouses? PP lives in an exurb, which means we would lose 12 hours a week each just commuting.

I can’t believe people making $300+ choose such soul sucking commutes? Sure TODAY for some telework is an option (but is not for our jobs). And when we bought telework was not a thing.

We make more than 450k and we spend far less. And no we do not have a “soul sucking commute.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

You’re living beyond your means.

So anyone making $300k has a house that cost less than $900k? So you all live outside the beltway or in townhouses? PP lives in an exurb, which means we would lose 12 hours a week each just commuting.

I can’t believe people making $300+ choose such soul sucking commutes? Sure TODAY for some telework is an option (but is not for our jobs). And when we bought telework was not a thing.

your wife should look to cut back and take a telework role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reconsider this entire plan. Why not just have your DW downshift to a less stressful job and see what that looks like? Let's say she gets something making $110K you're still collectively pulling in $250K which should be plenty of money.

This would require selling house, moving and changing school for our 3 kids

And DW does not want this because she is worried about paying for college so dropping income is untenable without severe need (medical, etc).

I don’t understand why this means you have to sell your home. Unless you are living that paycheck to paycheck in which case you have a spending problem.

+1. Unless there's some kind of special needs situation if reducing your HHI to $250K requires you to sell your home you have a spending problem so maybe focus on that first.

We currently make $380k but most goes to mortgage ($6k). We bought close in, small old house but a proper SFH inside beltway with good schools.

Dropping to $250k is dropping gross income by 1/3 — do most people live on 2/3 of their income just to have option to drop the other 1/3??

Yes, most people that make what you make can drop their income by 1/3 and be fine. At your income level you should be saving a ton of money not spending most of it.

So they live in Burke and commute 1 hr+?

We bought a $1.2M house inside the beltway; anything cheaper was literally falling apart and this is a small colonial updates in the 90s.

If we drop to $250k, half our take home would go to the mortgage — that is not sustainable.

I really want to know the numbers where working parents earning $300k live with small mortgages?

I’m fine moving but it’s what we’ll need to do to drop that much.

You’re living beyond your means.

So anyone making $300k has a house that cost less than $900k? So you all live outside the beltway or in townhouses? PP lives in an exurb, which means we would lose 12 hours a week each just commuting.

I can’t believe people making $300+ choose such soul sucking commutes? Sure TODAY for some telework is an option (but is not for our jobs). And when we bought telework was not a thing.

Nonprofit project manager and you can’t find a telework or hybrid role? Honestly your dream of ramping up your salary and having a sahm isn’t practical, but both of you finding a better quality of life arrangement might be possible