DD adamant she doesn’t want kids

[Anonymous]

While children are amazing, many of my older friends tell me that being a grandparent has its own challenges.

They say it is very hard to keep your mouth shut about how they are being raised. And your kids can cut off your access at any point, which is very painful.

So, stop worrying about something that is far into your future (if at all), and that you will not be able to control.

[Anonymous]

So?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one in her generation wants kids. It is weird to say the opposite. Leave it be.

I mean can you blame them?

[Anonymous]

She's an unmarried college student. It's better she doesn't have kids right now anyways. She might change her mind later. She's probably trying to get a rise out of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very common sentiment these days.

+1

My kids (25 and 22) say the same thing and given the state of the world I can't say I blame them.

[Anonymous]

She's in college OP, she's what, 20?

Maybe she will change her mind and maybe she won't. It's not up to you--many young people make all sorts of declarations, especially when they feel pressured. Are you pushing for her to bag a rich guy?

[Anonymous]

I said the same thing at her age AND MEANT IT. 54 yrs old now and chosen childfree. Happily married 28 yrs. Life is good!

[Anonymous]

The correct response to a declaration like that is "your body, your choice!"

This is what I tell my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Smart daughter!

[Anonymous]

Did you have any idea when you had her (approximately 2000) that things would be so different now? I feel like we were in a different world than we were then. She cannot imagine what the next few years will hold for her so just let it go.

That said, if you are realistic in your "warnings" about cost, good for you. If you are dramatic and find yourself harping on it to make a point or something, this is your warning to lay off because she's clearly internalizing it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is at a Top 20 college and has declared she doesn’t want kids because they’re expensive.
It makes me sad but at the same time, I blame myself because I keep reminding her how pricey college/clothing/housing is.
I’m just trying to ignore her declaration but it’s hard.

It would be hard for me, but at least try spending more money now that you dont have to save for pampering the grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is at a Top 20 college and has declared she doesn’t want kids because they’re expensive.
It makes me sad but at the same time, I blame myself because I keep reminding her how pricey college/clothing/housing is.
I’m just trying to ignore her declaration but it’s hard.

I have two close friends that said the same thing in their 20s. One is still happily childfree and the other has two kids starting in her mid thirties. It is was too early to get worried about this.

[Anonymous]

My sister was adamant about not wanting kids. Personally, i think it was a defense mechanism so people wouldn't ask her about boyfriends or future plans when she was in her 20s. She now has two.

[Anonymous]

My daughter started saying that when she was about ten and now she's 43 and she wasn't kidding. I'm ok with it, I have grandchildren from my other kid. My daughter has a happy life too.

[Anonymous]

My cousin, who is in her early 20's, said the same thing to me. I just replied that she doesn't need to decide that now. She hasn't mentioned it to me again.