DD adamant she doesn’t want kids

[Anonymous]

DD is at a Top 20 college and has declared she doesn’t want kids because they’re expensive.
It makes me sad but at the same time, I blame myself because I keep reminding her how pricey college/clothing/housing is.
I’m just trying to ignore her declaration but it’s hard.

[Anonymous]

LOL college students declare a lot of things. No need to feel sad.

[Anonymous]

I knew at that age I didn't want kids, and never changed my mind. (I'm 49 now.)

She may change her mind, may not - the cost thing may be a factor, or may just be what she's saying because she feels like she needs reasons for what is at its essence an emotional decision.

I feel like the best thing you can do is to really talk to her, not try to argue with her or ignore her, but you know your kid best and also you know what you have the capacity for.

[Anonymous]

OP—Did you follow through on every declaration you made at age 20?

[Anonymous]

This is a very common sentiment these days.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want kids until I was about 35-36. Before that I was adamant.

[Anonymous]

No one in her generation wants kids. It is weird to say the opposite. Leave it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is at a Top 20 college and has declared she doesn’t want kids because they’re expensive.
It makes me sad but at the same time, I blame myself because I keep reminding her how pricey college/clothing/housing is.
I’m just trying to ignore her declaration but it’s hard.

It's your daughter's life.

[Anonymous]

I said that at 20. I now happily have multiple kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew at that age I didn't want kids, and never changed my mind. (I'm 49 now.)

She may change her mind, may not - the cost thing may be a factor, or may just be what she's saying because she feels like she needs reasons for what is at its essence an emotional decision.

I feel like the best thing you can do is to really talk to her, not try to argue with her or ignore her, but you know your kid best and also you know what you have the capacity for.

Really weird that you as a childless 49 y/o woman is responding to this.

dp Why is it weird for her and not you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is at a Top 20 college and has declared she doesn’t want kids because they’re expensive.
It makes me sad but at the same time, I blame myself because I keep reminding her how pricey college/clothing/housing is.
I’m just trying to ignore her declaration but it’s hard.

Don't worry, OP, she may just be trying to get you to tone it down. Stop mentioning how expensive she is and she'll probably do the same.

[Anonymous]

I said the exact same thing until I was about 23. I really meant it too. Then around 25 I realized I wasn’t so sure. Give her 5 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew at that age I didn't want kids, and never changed my mind. (I'm 49 now.)

She may change her mind, may not - the cost thing may be a factor, or may just be what she's saying because she feels like she needs reasons for what is at its essence an emotional decision.

I feel like the best thing you can do is to really talk to her, not try to argue with her or ignore her, but you know your kid best and also you know what you have the capacity for.

Really weird that you as a childless 49 y/o woman is responding to this.

NP. Really weird that you haven’t mastered subject-verb agreement.

[Anonymous]

My 20 year old daughter has been saying the same thing since she was in HS. Nothing to do with cost, she just does not want children. It makes me sad but it is her life to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew at that age I didn't want kids, and never changed my mind. (I'm 49 now.)

She may change her mind, may not - the cost thing may be a factor, or may just be what she's saying because she feels like she needs reasons for what is at its essence an emotional decision.

I feel like the best thing you can do is to really talk to her, not try to argue with her or ignore her, but you know your kid best and also you know what you have the capacity for.

Really weird that you as a childless 49 y/o woman is responding to this.

NP. Really weird that you haven’t mastered subject-verb agreement.

My mistake. It’s still weird though.