Daughter hates her middle school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a longtime mcps parent, I’m shocked by the lack of discipline in middle and high schools.

The schools seemingly have control in elementary, and then they lose it in middle school.

My theory is they set the tone for a big free for all by not enforcing order as kids switch classes. There’s no control. Once you’ve lost control, you can’t get it back.

Private schools don’t have these issues—even inner city parochial schools.

Yes, it helps when you can just dump any student you don't want onto the public schools.

Lots of us went to public school and did not experience lack of discipline. The actual problem is mainstreaming everyone. There is no other option to send kids to, so they have no fear.

I'm not sure blaming kids with special needs is the way forward here. Other potential issues include widening income inequalities, the impossibility of making ends meet on minimum wage, the "war on drugs" and its disproportionate impact on families of color, and a fraying social safety net.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a longtime mcps parent, I’m shocked by the lack of discipline in middle and high schools.

The schools seemingly have control in elementary, and then they lose it in middle school.

My theory is they set the tone for a big free for all by not enforcing order as kids switch classes. There’s no control. Once you’ve lost control, you can’t get it back.

Private schools don’t have these issues—even inner city parochial schools.

Yes, it helps when you can just dump any student you don't want onto the public schools.

Lots of us went to public school and did not experience lack of discipline. The actual problem is mainstreaming everyone. There is no other option to send kids to, so they have no fear.

I'm not sure blaming kids with special needs is the way forward here. Other potential issues include widening income inequalities, the impossibility of making ends meet on minimum wage, the "war on drugs" and its disproportionate impact on families of color, and a fraying social safety net.

Don't forget about the imaginary past greatness and our death spiral into chaos which people have been saying forever. The sad truth is things aren't all that different than 20 or 30 years ago except that they can't dish out corporal punishment without criminal charges being filed, which is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t red all 5 pages, but the underenrolled MS where I teach often feels like a prison. Kids can only move through the hallways clockwise, can’t use the restroom most of the time and definitely curse, yell, run, and who knows what else in the hallways. But admin rewards students saying they have behaved well by bringing in an iceee truck on Crodays just to raise money to fund student incentives tied to academics. It’s gross!

[Anonymous]

Public is trash everywhere. The pandemic exposed how horrible it is. Private/homeschool is the only option for responsible parents .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a longtime mcps parent, I’m shocked by the lack of discipline in middle and high schools.

The schools seemingly have control in elementary, and then they lose it in middle school.

My theory is they set the tone for a big free for all by not enforcing order as kids switch classes. There’s no control. Once you’ve lost control, you can’t get it back.

Private schools don’t have these issues—even inner city parochial schools.

Yes, it helps when you can just dump any student you don't want onto the public schools.

Lots of us went to public school and did not experience lack of discipline. The actual problem is mainstreaming everyone. There is no other option to send kids to, so they have no fear.

I'm not sure blaming kids with special needs is the way forward here. Other potential issues include widening income inequalities, the impossibility of making ends meet on minimum wage, the "war on drugs" and its disproportionate impact on families of color, and a fraying social safety net.

Don't forget about the imaginary past greatness and our death spiral into chaos which people have been saying forever. The sad truth is things aren't all that different than 20 or 30 years ago except that they can't dish out corporal punishment without criminal charges being filed, which is a good thing.

MCPS didn't have corporal punishment 20-30 years ago so it's not relevant but there were consequences and some of us had parents who parented and didn't tolerate that behavior. Some of this is on the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not in Montgomery county, but would you be open to a parochial school to finish out middle school? At a minimum it would be a calmer environment.

OP ignore this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought everyone hated middle school?

My kids attend private and love their school. 7th graders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a longtime mcps parent, I’m shocked by the lack of discipline in middle and high schools.

The schools seemingly have control in elementary, and then they lose it in middle school.

My theory is they set the tone for a big free for all by not enforcing order as kids switch classes. There’s no control. Once you’ve lost control, you can’t get it back.

Private schools don’t have these issues—even inner city parochial schools.

Yes, it helps when you can just dump any student you don't want onto the public schools.

Lots of us went to public school and did not experience lack of discipline. The actual problem is mainstreaming everyone. There is no other option to send kids to, so they have no fear.

I'm not sure blaming kids with special needs is the way forward here. Other potential issues include widening income inequalities, the impossibility of making ends meet on minimum wage, the "war on drugs" and its disproportionate impact on families of color, and a fraying social safety net.

I don’t think it is about blaming special needs, but I do think it’s okay to recognize that there are some kids (with and without disabilities) whose behaviors are so sever that they are hampering the education of every other child. I think we can also recognize that there are currently no repercussions for this behavior which is exacerbating it. It is also okay to recognize that leaving these severe behaviors in the classrooms are causing teachers to quit. Things need to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As other suggested, you could try an independent school for the middle school years. Pre-k/K through 8th grade programs are an intentional antidote to the issues you're seeing. This is just one example: https://www.sheridanschool.org/discover/benefits-of-a-k-8-school/

That school is $42K per year. What are normal earning people supposed to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about home schooling for a year and a half?

Is this an option for you? You could use an online school as others have suggested if you don't want to take on actual homeschooling. If you're on FB, I highly recommend the group "Secular, Eclectic, Academic (SEA) Homeschoolers" and then within it the MS & HS subgroup. They have lots of conversations around situations where people are pulling their kids out of unfortunate public school situations to homeschool.

Wouldn't that just reinforce her issues? Seems more like psychiatric help is in order.

Psychiatric help for who? What makes you think the OP’s daughter needs psychiatric help? It’s a bit unclear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about home schooling for a year and a half?

Is this an option for you? You could use an online school as others have suggested if you don't want to take on actual homeschooling. If you're on FB, I highly recommend the group "Secular, Eclectic, Academic (SEA) Homeschoolers" and then within it the MS & HS subgroup. They have lots of conversations around situations where people are pulling their kids out of unfortunate public school situations to homeschool.

Wouldn't that just reinforce her issues? Seems more like psychiatric help is in order.

Psychiatric help for who? What makes you think the OP’s daughter needs psychiatric help? It’s a bit unclear.

Hi, OP here. Yes, my daughter doesn't need psychiatric help and honestly, home-schooling is not going to be the way to go for her as she's a very social person and needs a group of friends around her. Homeschooling is going to be worse, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about home schooling for a year and a half?

Is this an option for you? You could use an online school as others have suggested if you don't want to take on actual homeschooling. If you're on FB, I highly recommend the group "Secular, Eclectic, Academic (SEA) Homeschoolers" and then within it the MS & HS subgroup. They have lots of conversations around situations where people are pulling their kids out of unfortunate public school situations to homeschool.

Wouldn't that just reinforce her issues? Seems more like psychiatric help is in order.

Psychiatric help for who? What makes you think the OP’s daughter needs psychiatric help? It’s a bit unclear.

Hi, OP here. Yes, my daughter doesn't need psychiatric help and honestly, home-schooling is not going to be the way to go for her as she's a very social person and needs a group of friends around her. Homeschooling is going to be worse, unfortunately.

What happened to friends from elementary??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about home schooling for a year and a half?

Is this an option for you? You could use an online school as others have suggested if you don't want to take on actual homeschooling. If you're on FB, I highly recommend the group "Secular, Eclectic, Academic (SEA) Homeschoolers" and then within it the MS & HS subgroup. They have lots of conversations around situations where people are pulling their kids out of unfortunate public school situations to homeschool.

Wouldn't that just reinforce her issues? Seems more like psychiatric help is in order.

Psychiatric help for who? What makes you think the OP’s daughter needs psychiatric help? It’s a bit unclear.

Hi, OP here. Yes, my daughter doesn't need psychiatric help and honestly, home-schooling is not going to be the way to go for her as she's a very social person and needs a group of friends around her. Homeschooling is going to be worse, unfortunately.

What happened to friends from elementary??

We were part of a boundary reassignment and her friend group basically got split up, with most of her friends going to the previous middle school. Those assigned to her current middle school either got COSAs, did home schooling, went to private, moved, or borrowed an address. Some of them tried the middle school but the parents pulled them out. We were invested in trying it and proving everyone wrong but seeing my child miserable has changed this. Truthfully, I wouldn't say that all public middle schools are like this. We know families in neighboring middle schools who are fairly happy with their experience there and don't have the same issues that are facing ours. Ours is a combination of a high population of troubled kids, overburdened staff, and I hate to say it, a culture of low expectations. My kid by no means isn't traumatized hearing cursing and seeing fights from time to time; it's the daily and constant exposure to it and seeing that nothing gets done about it, that is troubling. I've told her many times to give it a try and to find kids who care about school like she does. There are kids like that there- but very few who like the same things that she does. It's really more about her not socially fitting in. I know a COSA would be very difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about home schooling for a year and a half?

Is this an option for you? You could use an online school as others have suggested if you don't want to take on actual homeschooling. If you're on FB, I highly recommend the group "Secular, Eclectic, Academic (SEA) Homeschoolers" and then within it the MS & HS subgroup. They have lots of conversations around situations where people are pulling their kids out of unfortunate public school situations to homeschool.

Wouldn't that just reinforce her issues? Seems more like psychiatric help is in order.

Psychiatric help for who? What makes you think the OP’s daughter needs psychiatric help? It’s a bit unclear.

Hi, OP here. Yes, my daughter doesn't need psychiatric help and honestly, home-schooling is not going to be the way to go for her as she's a very social person and needs a group of friends around her. Homeschooling is going to be worse, unfortunately.

What happened to friends from elementary??

We were part of a boundary reassignment and her friend group basically got split up, with most of her friends going to the previous middle school. Those assigned to her current middle school either got COSAs, did home schooling, went to private, moved, or borrowed an address. Some of them tried the middle school but the parents pulled them out. We were invested in trying it and proving everyone wrong but seeing my child miserable has changed this. Truthfully, I wouldn't say that all public middle schools are like this. We know families in neighboring middle schools who are fairly happy with their experience there and don't have the same issues that are facing ours. Ours is a combination of a high population of troubled kids, overburdened staff, and I hate to say it, a culture of low expectations.

It sounds like you gave it a respectable try but it’s time to walk back and use one of the other solutions that the other parents have gone with. You really want to avoid letting your kid linger in that bad environment, as she will start to hate school/learning, associate it with misery/stress, or even fall in with a bad peer group. It seems you’ve done your best but it’s time to figure something else out.

Also my condolences in your being redistricted. I’m going to guess Clarksburg? It’s really frustrating how MCPS has screwed over parents trying to buy in the good school districts - a big issue since there is a significant disparity between the good and bad schools here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All MCPS middles have this. I’m a teacher in one. Most kids are desensitized to it by 7th grade. 2/3 of my own children went to a MCPS middle. One was shocked to her core as she came from private ES. A year later, she barely noticed. The high schools are not much better. The only real difference is that most HS students who don’t want to be there skip the whole day while MS students attend some classes and disrupt them. Still, my son entered MCPS as a freshman and was appalled. A Junior today, he barely notices things like cursing.

However, it is getting worse. The last two years are pandemic fallout. If the adults don’t reseize control, it will be impossible to learn in our MS.

Cursing? What kind of delicate snowflake did you raise?? I would be absolutely ashamed and embarrassed of myself as a parent if words could take my child down. Wow.