Daughter hates her middle school

[Anonymous]

My child HATES her middle school. Fights every day. Cursing everywhere and she gets teased a lot because she's short. Staff barely care because they're so burdened dealing with disciplinary issues. My daughter has no peers to whom she can relate to and has maybe 2 acquaintances who she's not even good friends with. There aren't enough kids like her even to have a friend group. This is a girl who is otherwise happy-go-lucky and has friends outside of school- but she is seriously not thriving in this environment and has been begging me to move her out of there. She has one more year to go since she's in 7th grade and at this point the idea of her being there for another year and a half is daunting. I feel like she's going to have mental anxiety over this. Can someone please tell me if I have any chance of a COSA? We cannot afford to move in this market. Any words of advice are appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I’m not in Montgomery county, but would you be open to a parochial school to finish out middle school? At a minimum it would be a calmer environment.

[Anonymous]

It depends where you live. Perhaps she could transfer to a different middle school in your town/county. And it may be easier since she is just asking to attend 8th grade at the school. The question is, won’t her neighborhood HS have the same vibe? Anyway, here is a link to how APS (Arlington) treats transfers - https://www.apsva.us/school-options/high-school-choices/secondary-lottery-information/secondary-options-and-transfers-faqs/.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not in Montgomery county, but would you be open to a parochial school to finish out middle school? At a minimum it would be a calmer environment.

Thanks. We've looked into this but many have a wait list or are not accepting anyone mid-year. Also, many of the private schools that serve middle-schoolers end in 8th-grade and do not accept rising 8th graders.

[Anonymous]

What school is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends where you live. Perhaps she could transfer to a different middle school in your town/county. And it may be easier since she is just asking to attend 8th grade at the school. The question is, won’t her neighborhood HS have the same vibe? Anyway, here is a link to how APS (Arlington) treats transfers - https://www.apsva.us/school-options/high-school-choices/secondary-lottery-information/secondary-options-and-transfers-faqs/.

We're actually happy with the High School and her sibling goes there and is happy. My high schooler attended a different middle school that was much, much better.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about this, OP. If she's being bullied at one school, that could be an accepted reason for a COSA to another. You or she would need to report the bullying officially.

https://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/info/bullying/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What school is this?

In upcounty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends where you live. Perhaps she could transfer to a different middle school in your town/county. And it may be easier since she is just asking to attend 8th grade at the school. The question is, won’t her neighborhood HS have the same vibe? Anyway, here is a link to how APS (Arlington) treats transfers - https://www.apsva.us/school-options/high-school-choices/secondary-lottery-information/secondary-options-and-transfers-faqs/.

We're actually happy with the High School and her sibling goes there and is happy. My high schooler attended a different middle school that was much, much better.

Hi. I’m PP. I read your comment from Recent topics, so I didn’t know you were in Montgomery County - sorry for not being helpful. I don’t know what the “bar” for COSA is but it’s worth a try. You need documentation of your DD’s unhappiness. Has she been meeting with the school guidance counselor? She should for mental health reasons, for possibly getting help finding like minded peers, and documentation.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately this is the direction all of MCPS is heading toward. They don’t seem to want to get a handle on the discipline and are just loosely following restorative justice.

I’m not sure switching to another public works. I know you’re concerned about privates that end in 8th but that seems like it would make sense as you like the high school. Might be worth pursuing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not in Montgomery county, but would you be open to a parochial school to finish out middle school? At a minimum it would be a calmer environment.

Thanks. We've looked into this but many have a wait list or are not accepting anyone mid-year. Also, many of the private schools that serve middle-schoolers end in 8th-grade and do not accept rising 8th graders.

Ugh, sorry. We’re in Fairfax and our school has a lot of military families so it’s not uncommon to have mid-year openings and I know they’ll take 8th-graders if there’s room. I hope you find a solution. Middle school is hard no matter what, and I’m sure a chaotic environment doesn’t help.

[Anonymous]

Change her. Sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about this, OP. If she's being bullied at one school, that could be an accepted reason for a COSA to another. You or she would need to report the bullying officially.

https://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/info/bullying/

This is a possibility but it’s not likely to work unless it’s extreme - like risk to physical safety extreme. Feel fee to pursue it but I wouldn’t count on it.

[Anonymous]

That was exactly my middle school experience and it’s honestly affected my decision making ever since, for where to live and why I send my kids to private school. I would have cried happy tears if my parents had believed me about how bad it was. If she were my child I would find a private or parochial middle school opening and move her today, not wait for the end of the year. If that’s not possible, look at homeschooling for middle school.

[Anonymous]

If it were my kid, I would rake a second mortgage on my house to pay for private. I am a teacher and have worked in some rough schools. I always felt so bad for the kids who had to suffer because of the others. They are the true victims.

Worst case scenario, does your district have a virtual option. I have a former student who left a really bad high school and this. The sad part is that the school actually suggested it to tje family. There are also virtual charters you can look into.