Daughter hates her middle school

[Anonymous]

Look into some of the smaller Christian schools and parochial schools. She won't have fights and cursing in the school.

[Anonymous]

What about home schooling for a year and a half?

[Anonymous]

All MCPS middles have this. I’m a teacher in one. Most kids are desensitized to it by 7th grade. 2/3 of my own children went to a MCPS middle. One was shocked to her core as she came from private ES. A year later, she barely noticed. The high schools are not much better. The only real difference is that most HS students who don’t want to be there skip the whole day while MS students attend some classes and disrupt them. Still, my son entered MCPS as a freshman and was appalled. A Junior today, he barely notices things like cursing.

However, it is getting worse. The last two years are pandemic fallout. If the adults don’t reseize control, it will be impossible to learn in our MS.

[Anonymous]

From what I've seen, MCPS is less likely to permit parents to "shop around" for a different middle school via COSA. Depending on the school, it may also get worse in HS. Check the school profile if your feeder HS has a high drop-out rate. That's usually an indicator of issues.

If you can wait until HS, you can apply for lottery to move schools. If it's really bad (bullying, etc.) consider moving. The idea of getting a second mortgage is not a good one. Consider moving further away from DC where housing is less expensive or, if you qualify as low income and needing support, see if the HOC has housing options available in other areas.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I thought everyone hated middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately this is the direction all of MCPS is heading toward. They don’t seem to want to get a handle on the discipline and are just loosely following restorative justice.

I’m not sure switching to another public works. I know you’re concerned about privates that end in 8th but that seems like it would make sense as you like the high school. Might be worth pursuing.

We are at an MCPS middle school and so agree with this. The kids know they can get away with horrible behavior and it is an incredibly stressful environment for kids who are actually at school to learn (or at least are not trying to cause trouble).

Teachers and admin have their hands tied and it’s a really crummy and depressing/frustrating environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All MCPS middles have this. I’m a teacher in one. Most kids are desensitized to it by 7th grade. 2/3 of my own children went to a MCPS middle. One was shocked to her core as she came from private ES. A year later, she barely noticed. The high schools are not much better. The only real difference is that most HS students who don’t want to be there skip the whole day while MS students attend some classes and disrupt them. Still, my son entered MCPS as a freshman and was appalled. A Junior today, he barely notices things like cursing.

However, it is getting worse. The last two years are pandemic fallout. If the adults don’t reseize control, it will be impossible to learn in our MS.

IMO, it’s worse than cursing and fights. We curse and home and my kid was not bothered by that. It’s more the behavior issues and lack of any consequences for kids with behavior issues. The kids are vaping in the hallways. My kid hates using the bathrooms. The classes are such a crazy learning environment, and the academic expectations are so low, that the school days just drag by.

MCPS middle school is pretty bad, and I agree that it is getting worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into some of the smaller Christian schools and parochial schools. She won't have fights and cursing in the school.

OP here. We've looked but unfortunately, there's either a long waiting list and/or they won't take any rising 8th graders at all ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All MCPS middles have this. I’m a teacher in one. Most kids are desensitized to it by 7th grade. 2/3 of my own children went to a MCPS middle. One was shocked to her core as she came from private ES. A year later, she barely noticed. The high schools are not much better. The only real difference is that most HS students who don’t want to be there skip the whole day while MS students attend some classes and disrupt them. Still, my son entered MCPS as a freshman and was appalled. A Junior today, he barely notices things like cursing.

However, it is getting worse. The last two years are pandemic fallout. If the adults don’t reseize control, it will be impossible to learn in our MS.

IMO, it’s worse than cursing and fights. We curse and home and my kid was not bothered by that. It’s more the behavior issues and lack of any consequences for kids with behavior issues. The kids are vaping in the hallways. My kid hates using the bathrooms. The classes are such a crazy learning environment, and the academic expectations are so low, that the school days just drag by.

MCPS middle school is pretty bad, and I agree that it is getting worse.

At least once a day, a student reports to me that the bathroom they visited was vandalized. It’s the girls’ rooms as often as it is the boys’, though the girls’ rooms are usually graffiti and the boys are purposely causing floods and breaking fixtures. There’s no way to hold students accountable so the response is to lock the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I've seen, MCPS is less likely to permit parents to "shop around" for a different middle school via COSA. Depending on the school, it may also get worse in HS. Check the school profile if your feeder HS has a high drop-out rate. That's usually an indicator of issues.

If you can wait until HS, you can apply for lottery to move schools. If it's really bad (bullying, etc.) consider moving. The idea of getting a second mortgage is not a good one. Consider moving further away from DC where housing is less expensive or, if you qualify as low income and needing support, see if the HOC has housing options available in other areas.

Good luck!

Thanks. OP here. We do like the HS - my oldest is there now and loves it there and my middle schooler wants to go to the HS. It's just this particular MS that is problematic. Just to let you know, the other feeder middle schools that go into the high school are much better. We also would not want to move because I would never want to move my high schooler to a different school and disrupt her life.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea about the circumstances, but my child did report that a new child began at their middle school just a few weeks ago (maybe at the quarter mark?) due to bullying at the home school.

If your child is being singled out for bullying, that's your best chance for a COSA, but you need to be documenting specific incidents. If the problem is just that the school is "too rough" for your child, that's a harder sell for the COSA process, I would think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All MCPS middles have this. I’m a teacher in one. Most kids are desensitized to it by 7th grade. 2/3 of my own children went to a MCPS middle. One was shocked to her core as she came from private ES. A year later, she barely noticed. The high schools are not much better. The only real difference is that most HS students who don’t want to be there skip the whole day while MS students attend some classes and disrupt them. Still, my son entered MCPS as a freshman and was appalled. A Junior today, he barely notices things like cursing.

However, it is getting worse. The last two years are pandemic fallout. If the adults don’t reseize control, it will be impossible to learn in our MS.

IMO, it’s worse than cursing and fights. We curse and home and my kid was not bothered by that. It’s more the behavior issues and lack of any consequences for kids with behavior issues. The kids are vaping in the hallways. My kid hates using the bathrooms. The classes are such a crazy learning environment, and the academic expectations are so low, that the school days just drag by.

MCPS middle school is pretty bad, and I agree that it is getting worse.

OP. Yes, I agree- it's not necessarily just the cursing and the fights. It's the sheer number of students who participate in this behavior and the lack (or she hasn't met any) of other students who are like her. She has not found her tribe and feels very socially isolated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All MCPS middles have this. I’m a teacher in one. Most kids are desensitized to it by 7th grade. 2/3 of my own children went to a MCPS middle. One was shocked to her core as she came from private ES. A year later, she barely noticed. The high schools are not much better. The only real difference is that most HS students who don’t want to be there skip the whole day while MS students attend some classes and disrupt them. Still, my son entered MCPS as a freshman and was appalled. A Junior today, he barely notices things like cursing.

However, it is getting worse. The last two years are pandemic fallout. If the adults don’t reseize control, it will be impossible to learn in our MS.

IMO, it’s worse than cursing and fights. We curse and home and my kid was not bothered by that. It’s more the behavior issues and lack of any consequences for kids with behavior issues. The kids are vaping in the hallways. My kid hates using the bathrooms. The classes are such a crazy learning environment, and the academic expectations are so low, that the school days just drag by.

MCPS middle school is pretty bad, and I agree that it is getting worse.

OP. Yes, I agree- it's not necessarily just the cursing and the fights. It's the sheer number of students who participate in this behavior and the lack (or she hasn't met any) of other students who are like her. She has not found her tribe and feels very socially isolated.

Part of the issue is that the behavior problems are not isolated to in the hallways or in between classes, etc. The students are incredibly disruptive in some of the classes. And there isn’t much that the teachers can do about it.

Some (many) of the kids at our MS are simply not engaged and they make it super difficult for the rest of the kids. Definitely a tough environment.

The lack of differentiation in MS doesn’t help. My kid is fine with the History and Math classes because most of the kids there seem willing to do the work. English is particularly terrible - mixed ability and SO slow moving. And Science also is pretty bad.

OP, does your kid have any interest in Band or Orchestra or Chorus? Band is the one class my MS kid likes. Nice group of kids and a nice teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were my kid, I would rake a second mortgage on my house to pay for private. I am a teacher and have worked in some rough schools. I always felt so bad for the kids who had to suffer because of the others. They are the true victims.

Worst case scenario, does your district have a virtual option. I have a former student who left a really bad high school and this. The sad part is that the school actually suggested it to tje family. There are also virtual charters you can look into.

I'd probably just get them therapy because it sounds like they need emotional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately this is the direction all of MCPS is heading toward. They don’t seem to want to get a handle on the discipline and are just loosely following restorative justice.

I’m not sure switching to another public works. I know you’re concerned about privates that end in 8th but that seems like it would make sense as you like the high school. Might be worth pursuing.

We are at an MCPS middle school and so agree with this. The kids know they can get away with horrible behavior and it is an incredibly stressful environment for kids who are actually at school to learn (or at least are not trying to cause trouble).

Teachers and admin have their hands tied and it’s a really crummy and depressing/frustrating environment.

Some of it is parenting and the parents stopped caring or parenting.