I hate that I ended up in stressful, rat race DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a Fed, I am in the arts. Our HHI is about $170. We live a very non-rat-race life in Bethesda. Family dinner almost every night. Hang out on the weekends. I agree there are some very competitive people around here, but it is pretty easy to avoid them. Honestly our friends and neighbors are pretty down to earth for the most part.

Sounds like you are hanging with the wrong crowd, or maybe your job is ruining your life.

Try to focus on what is amazing about the DMV -- the unbelievable diversity and tolerance. The free museums. Rock Creek park. Great hiking and camping nearby. Lots of cute towns in Va and Md to do day trips. Canoeing/kayaking on the Potomac. Art classes offered at Glen Echo.

And get a new job

Did you buy a king time ago? How are you affording Bethesda housing and other prices on that salary? I don't know how common that is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How strange. As a Fed I feel none of this, and think that the DMV is a chill place to raise a family. Maybe it's a private sector rat race thing?

+1 maybe this is because I’ve been a fed straight out of law school and never bought into the whole rat race hype. And my house isn’t huge but that is okay. I drive a minivan. I don’t care what others around me have/are doing.

[Anonymous]

I like when people say they hate DC but then rattle off a list of complaints that are about the suburbs and not DC at all.

It could just be that I only socialize with generally happy and well-adjusted people, but no one I know who lives in DC whines about wanting to leave. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that no one I know in DC who doesn't like living here stays here anyway.

You're not a tree. If you don't like where you are, leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in the DMV for ten years. Made one real friend. Everyone else who I initially thought was a friend wanted to use me in some way. They wanted to use me for free childcare. They wanted me to buy their MLM line. They wanted for some purpose that was beyond just being.

You learn not to say "hi" to many of your neighbors. When you say "ho" and they don't reply or even look at you, well, you learn from that.

You learn never to admit ANY weakness or challenge in your life with anyone, about anything, If you do, then they will one-up you in a heartbeat. So you keep your struggles, and your children's struggles (if you have them), as closely guarded things you never share.

Living in the DMC makes you very cynical. OP, just know that the DC area is uniquely awful. Get in, get some work experience, and get out. Regain your humanity.

It was hard.

If your neighbors are all trying to mooch free childcare off you and sell you MLM products, I don’t think you’re in the DC rat race. Most people I know in the rat race have nannies and aren’t schilling face creams and leggings.

[Anonymous]

People around here are also generally unfriendly in daily interactions. It is so unpleasant to go to the post office or CVS or the grocery store or even the doctor’s office and be met with surly, mumbling employees who won’t even look at you. It doesn’t take much to be civil to others (and I say this as someone who worked jobs like this). And don’t get me started on the terrible, entitled drivers around here. These types of daily interactions with others make this area very unpleasant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a Fed, I am in the arts. Our HHI is about $170. We live a very non-rat-race life in Bethesda. Family dinner almost every night. Hang out on the weekends. I agree there are some very competitive people around here, but it is pretty easy to avoid them. Honestly our friends and neighbors are pretty down to earth for the most part.

Sounds like you are hanging with the wrong crowd, or maybe your job is ruining your life.

Try to focus on what is amazing about the DMV -- the unbelievable diversity and tolerance. The free museums. Rock Creek park. Great hiking and camping nearby. Lots of cute towns in Va and Md to do day trips. Canoeing/kayaking on the Potomac. Art classes offered at Glen Echo.

And get a new job

How do you afford Bethesda with that income? We live in Sterling with that HHI and not in a nice house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a Fed, I am in the arts. Our HHI is about $170. We live a very non-rat-race life in Bethesda. Family dinner almost every night. Hang out on the weekends. I agree there are some very competitive people around here, but it is pretty easy to avoid them. Honestly our friends and neighbors are pretty down to earth for the most part.

Sounds like you are hanging with the wrong crowd, or maybe your job is ruining your life.

Try to focus on what is amazing about the DMV -- the unbelievable diversity and tolerance. The free museums. Rock Creek park. Great hiking and camping nearby. Lots of cute towns in Va and Md to do day trips. Canoeing/kayaking on the Potomac. Art classes offered at Glen Echo.

And get a new job

How do you afford Bethesda with that income? We live in Sterling with that HHI and not in a nice house.

Income has nothing to do with wealth. I know teachers and mid-level feds (GG13s) who live in 700 - 900k homes. It's none of my business, but usually when I see people with homes/lifestyles that exceed their income, it's from an inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Agree ^ but it's out of touch to say what's the problem it's all carefree" when you do t have to make money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like when people say they hate DC but then rattle off a list of complaints that are about the suburbs and not DC at all.

It could just be that I only socialize with generally happy and well-adjusted people, but no one I know who lives in DC whines about wanting to leave. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that no one I know in DC who doesn't like living here stays here anyway.

You're not a tree. If you don't like where you are, leave.

NP. Agree with your point, Biff, but if the PP isn' a tree, he/she can't leave. The phrase is "Make like a tree and leave."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People around here are also generally unfriendly in daily interactions. It is so unpleasant to go to the post office or CVS or the grocery store or even the doctor’s office and be met with surly, mumbling employees who won’t even look at you. It doesn’t take much to be civil to others (and I say this as someone who worked jobs like this). And don’t get me started on the terrible, entitled drivers around here. These types of daily interactions with others make this area very unpleasant.

Now THIS is very true. Employees in our area are generally very surly and rude. I act polite and I don’t let affect my larger narrative about this area though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People around here are also generally unfriendly in daily interactions. It is so unpleasant to go to the post office or CVS or the grocery store or even the doctor’s office and be met with surly, mumbling employees who won’t even look at you. It doesn’t take much to be civil to others (and I say this as someone who worked jobs like this). And don’t get me started on the terrible, entitled drivers around here. These types of daily interactions with others make this area very unpleasant.

+1 we moved earlier this year to another large urban city, and I am often struck by how much friendlier people are in customer service jobs. Drivers are less aggressive as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a Fed, I am in the arts. Our HHI is about $170. We live a very non-rat-race life in Bethesda. Family dinner almost every night. Hang out on the weekends. I agree there are some very competitive people around here, but it is pretty easy to avoid them. Honestly our friends and neighbors are pretty down to earth for the most part.

Sounds like you are hanging with the wrong crowd, or maybe your job is ruining your life.

Try to focus on what is amazing about the DMV -- the unbelievable diversity and tolerance. The free museums. Rock Creek park. Great hiking and camping nearby. Lots of cute towns in Va and Md to do day trips. Canoeing/kayaking on the Potomac. Art classes offered at Glen Echo.

And get a new job

Did you buy a king time ago? How are you affording Bethesda housing and other prices on that salary? I don't know how common that is

$170k is practically poverty level in most of Bethesda.

Did you get an inheritance or something? Are you OK with your kids being saddled with $300,000 in student loan debt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I don't know what it is about this area that makes it feel so stressful and generally miserable. Everything is so expensive, traffic makes going out and doing anything miserable (let's not even get into the road rage around here), it just seems like everything's a giant hassle. But other big cities with traffic and high costs of living don't seem to be so awful. I don't get why DC is so weird! Is it the concentration of politicians or what? I'd be gone in a minute if we weren't tied to DH's job, sigh.

Why did you feel like this was not true in other big cities? I have lived in LA and NYC and the traffic sucks there too and everything's a hassle. DC is comparatively chiller bc things are closer together. I can remember sitting in my car on the 10 freeway in LA trying to get from downtown to the west side for dinner and just feeling I was never going to get there

[Anonymous]

Move to Frederick, MD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lived in the DMV for ten years. Made one real friend. Everyone else who I initially thought was a friend wanted to use me in some way. They wanted to use me for free childcare. They wanted me to buy their MLM line. They wanted for some purpose that was beyond just being.

You learn not to say "hi" to many of your neighbors. When you say "ho" and they don't reply or even look at you, well, you learn from that.

You learn never to admit ANY weakness or challenge in your life with anyone, about anything, If you do, then they will one-up you in a heartbeat. So you keep your struggles, and your children's struggles (if you have them), as closely guarded things you never share.

Living in the DMC makes you very cynical. OP, just know that the DC area is uniquely awful. Get in, get some work experience, and get out. Regain your humanity.

It was hard.

If your neighbors are all trying to mooch free childcare off you and sell you MLM products, I don’t think you’re in the DC rat race. Most people I know in the rat race have nannies and aren’t schilling face creams and leggings.

+1. All the MLM people I know live in the burbs