I hate that I ended up in stressful, rat race DC.

[Anonymous]

I lived in the DMV for ten years. Made one real friend. Everyone else who I initially thought was a friend wanted to use me in some way. They wanted to use me for free childcare. They wanted me to buy their MLM line. They wanted for some purpose that was beyond just being.

You learn not to say "hi" to many of your neighbors. When you say "ho" and they don't reply or even look at you, well, you learn from that.

You learn never to admit ANY weakness or challenge in your life with anyone, about anything, If you do, then they will one-up you in a heartbeat. So you keep your struggles, and your children's struggles (if you have them), as closely guarded things you never share.

Living in the DMC makes you very cynical. OP, just know that the DC area is uniquely awful. Get in, get some work experience, and get out. Regain your humanity.

It was hard.

[Anonymous]

^When you say "hi" and they don't reply or even look at you^

I'm not Santa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in the DMV for ten years. Made one real friend. Everyone else who I initially thought was a friend wanted to use me in some way. They wanted to use me for free childcare. They wanted me to buy their MLM line. They wanted for some purpose that was beyond just being.

You learn not to say "hi" to many of your neighbors. When you say "ho" and they don't reply or even look at you, well, you learn from that.

You learn never to admit ANY weakness or challenge in your life with anyone, about anything, If you do, then they will one-up you in a heartbeat. So you keep your struggles, and your children's struggles (if you have them), as closely guarded things you never share.

Living in the DMC makes you very cynical. OP, just know that the DC area is uniquely awful. Get in, get some work experience, and get out. Regain your humanity.

It was hard.

I've never met a single person trying to sell me MLM around DC, only my high school friends from the places y'all are always trying to convince me have more humanity.

[Anonymous]

I wish all you miserable people would just MOVE already, be a frankly you are the ones that create the unpleasant vibes. Lots of us are just here being chill and happy and then you come and pour your misery out on our roads and parking lots. Just leave; those of us who are from here and like it won’t be sorry to see you go.

[Anonymous]

Yup, we live here and we run our own race. You have only yourself to blame if you cannot figure out how to be happy with yourself, no matter where you live. Likely you are part of the problem, OP. Make a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered that you're doing this to yourself and could choose to not participate in rat race activities?

this. I love this area. I’ve made good friends, I don’t base my school choice on test scores, we have great parks around us…. I could go on…. If you want out, step out. You don’t need to move, you need to change who you surround yourself with.

Me too! It’s only a rat race if you make it one. There are over 6 million people in the greater DC area; that’s more than all of Ireland. If you want to make a change, change the people around you or your job or yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I don't know what it is about this area that makes it feel so stressful and generally miserable. Everything is so expensive, traffic makes going out and doing anything miserable (let's not even get into the road rage around here), it just seems like everything's a giant hassle. But other big cities with traffic and high costs of living don't seem to be so awful. I don't get why DC is so weird! Is it the concentration of politicians or what? I'd be gone in a minute if we weren't tied to DH's job, sigh.

Perhaps it is you because my life is not stressful or miserable.

[Anonymous]

I love to be surrounded by so many talented and educated people here in DC area. It’s wonderful that everyone is a go-getter. The DC are around other bright kids. There are tons of parks, trails, libraries, community centers, and museums.

[Anonymous]

Yup. That’s why I moved away to SC. All of my DC friends JUUUUSTTT DON’T GET IT (don’t get me started on my family but yeesh it feels good to raise my kids in a place that isn’t the rat race of DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sick of work and people and constantly being on my toes and having everything be so high stakes. I wish I lived in a log cabin in Norway or somewhere with free healthcare, just by myself and two or three dogs. .

I assume these cabins are free for the taking and are fully restocked every week by elves?

[Anonymous]

Time to switch jobs then. I work for a non profit, make a decent salary but am not wedded to my job and I live in a fantastic, welcoming community. It exists here.

[Anonymous]

I'm genuinely happy for people who move and find themselves happier in other places, but it makes me think a lot more of the drug and alcohol recovery idea of changing "people, places, and things" than of anything intrinsic to the area. If you come here and participate in a rat race, then you probably need to leave to get out of that habit. It's all very foreign to my experience living here, though. I've got plenty of good friends who've never really used me for anything, for decades I've had the same middling job that pays okay but doesn't demand much of me, I share my kid's struggles and my challenges and I've never felt like that was a problem. It's possible to do that here, but probably not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How strange. As a Fed I feel none of this, and think that the DMV is a chill place to raise a family. Maybe it's a private sector rat race thing?

I'm a fed and my new boss runs the office like big law. it's awful -- i'm looking to make a change. but i used to feel the same way as you.

I work in local government and don’t make a big salary and I am expected to be responsive evenings, weekends and holidays. It’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

We work from home and we moved to the DC area because it seemed like the best place in the country to live. So far, we’ve really liked it. We do get to avoid the traffic since our jobs are remote, but as for this striver culture everyone complains about, I don’t really see it yet. Maybe it’s because we refused to consider schools rated higher than 6, but people in our area are really nice, our school is incredible, and our neighborhood is really walkable, and there’s so much to do in the area…overall I’m really happy. We’ve lived in 4 other major metro areas and I like this one best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you meet a jerk in the morning, you had a bad morning. If you meet jerks all day… you’re the jerk.

I’m just amazed at people who lament the “DC culture.” YOU are part of the DC culture. You have complete power over every aspect of this, so make whatever changes you need to make not to be in a “rat race.”

Nice try, but some places like DC are just filled with jerks, and you encounter a lot of them on a regular basis.