I am choosing not to breastfeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My second child is due in a couple weeks and I have just made the decision not to breastfeed. I just don't want to. My reasons include problems the first time around, wanting the freedom that FF allows, wanting my husband to be an equal part in the feeding process, and not having a great pumping set up when I go back to work. But bottom line is that I am aware of all the benefits of breastfeeding, but I just don't want to.

I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there that will admit to making the same decision? I know that many people will disagree and judge, and that is fine. But if any of you out there made a choice not to breastfeed, I'd love to hear about it!

TIA

I didn't BF. Just did not want to. Lots of reasons why. People, I'm sure, judged me but, eh, so what.
My DD did fine and is a picture of health , is smart, wonderful, etc. Don't second-guess yourself. Others will do that for you. You know who you are . . . .

[Anonymous]

OP,
Give it a try, if it doesn't work you can say you tried ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
Give it a try, if it doesn't work you can say you tried ...

why does she have to say she tried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,
Give it a try, if it doesn't work you can say you tried ...

why does she have to say she tried?

PP here, posting again. She already tried with her firstborn. She also replied to this thread and actually said she's been thinking about doing at least colostrum and maybe seeing how it goes. Don't pressure! This is exactly the kind of thing that ends up turning more people off breastfeeding than you realize.

OP, the point is that you can relax and do it if you want, or not. Yes, maybe without the pressure it will be easy and rewarding. That would be lovely! But as so many people have reassured you, it's okay to relax. I am the person who identified myself as a "lactivist" earlier. But I remember before I had my first trying to take in all the pressure to breastfeed and the feeling it inspired was almost like rebellion against it. Like, "why are all these people in my business? And why so much pressure?" I read all the books and felt resentful of what they said about those who ended up (for whatever reason) going with formula. I figured I'd do my best to learn about it beforehand, give it a try with an open mind and a serious effort, and if it worked, awesome, and if not, I wasn't beating myself up. But when DS latched on, he was a natural and breastfeeding was easy for us. I try to remember how I felt before it was "easy," and I try to remember that were it not for that stroke of luck, I could easily be in OP's position, feeling defensive about something that really isn't anyone's business.

Of course, having felt reluctant at first, and then ending up with a treasured breastfeeding relationship, it's easy to go overboard when encouraging other moms...my sister in law is struggling with the BF vs. formula decision and I really have to watch what I say so as to not add to that pressure cooker new moms are under. Anyway, OP, I hope you will post back and tell us how things went. And for the record, I think it is selfless of you to consider colostrum, given your unease with breastfeeding in general. Fingers crossed for you no matter what you end up doing, it becomes a happy and peaceful thing for you.

Congrats on your pregnancy by the way!

[Anonymous]

I never breastfed and I don't see what the big deal is. I am not one to care what others think of me and I don't care too much about what other people do. I am a single parent and I knew that that alone would be hard enough taking care of a baby by myself. My DD survived not being breastfed and is in GT classes now. I never believed the hype that breastmilk made for smarter kids anyway. Do what works for you and don't look back.

[Anonymous]

At 5 weeks I was going to quit at 6 weeks, and then I turned a corner a week later and it's been pretty easy and enjoyable, so I stick with it, but man, if I hadn't gotten better there's no way I would have kept it up.It was causing me pain and stress, causing a lot of stress in our marriage b/c I was so on the edge, and certainly not conducive to bonding with baby.

Ironically, my French friends (none of whom breastfed, chose to FF from the start) looked at me like I was nuts when I told them that I was still breastfeeding 6 months PP and would probably continue in some fashion for a year. Their attitude was that it was weird/gross to breastfeed a baby past 3 months. I felt like I had to defend my reasons for breastfeeding--complete opposite here.

[Anonymous]

I just had my first baby in March, and I had every intention of breastfeeding -- I had bought a Medela pump as well as nursing bras and tanks and tons of other BF supplies. My sister had just had her first baby 4 wks before me and she was BF and enjoying it. After I had the baby, though, I just couldn't do it. I did try for a day or two, so he got some colostrum, but emotionally I just could not do it. I was exhausted and I felt like my body had been held hostage for 9 months and I could not take one more day. We started giving the baby some formula on the second day because he was crying out of hunger, and after I gave him that first bottle I knew I did not want to BF. I was worried about telling DH, who is a pediatrician, that I did not want to BF. He was completely, 100% supportive, though. I did feel guilty, and I do feel like I will never know what it is like to BF which is sort of sad, but I would never change the decision I made. It was the right decision for me. Just to mention -- my baby has never been sick, and I have lost all of the 35 lbs that I gained in pregnancy, at 11 wks post-partum. If I were you I would not feel bad about it at all. If it's the right decision for you, then trust yourself and move on. Happy mom = happy baby!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just had my first baby in March, and I had every intention of breastfeeding -- I had bought a Medela pump as well as nursing bras and tanks and tons of other BF supplies. My sister had just had her first baby 4 wks before me and she was BF and enjoying it. After I had the baby, though, I just couldn't do it. I did try for a day or two, so he got some colostrum, but emotionally I just could not do it. I was exhausted and I felt like my body had been held hostage for 9 months and I could not take one more day. We started giving the baby some formula on the second day because he was crying out of hunger, and after I gave him that first bottle I knew I did not want to BF. I was worried about telling DH, who is a pediatrician, that I did not want to BF. He was completely, 100% supportive, though. I did feel guilty, and I do feel like I will never know what it is like to BF which is sort of sad, but I would never change the decision I made. It was the right decision for me. Just to mention -- my baby has never been sick, and I have lost all of the 35 lbs that I gained in pregnancy, at 11 wks post-partum. If I were you I would not feel bad about it at all. If it's the right decision for you, then trust yourself and move on. Happy mom = happy baby!

What did you do about your milk when it came in? Always kind of curious about this now that women don't get those shots anymore to make the milk dry up.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I find it really sad, all these moms who don't want to BF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What did you do about your milk when it came in? Always kind of curious about this now that women don't get those shots anymore to make the milk dry up.

PP here -- I didn't do anything. My breasts were a bit sore for a few days; it felt kind-of similar to early pregnancy. Then I went back to normal. After the second day I didn't even try to put him to my breast and didn't try to pump. To the PP who finds it sad that some moms don't want to BF -- some of us just don't want to and we're glad to not be BF. I'm just so happy to be a normal person again and to not have any more physical demands placed on my body. I do get that "breast is best," but in my case I know I made the right decision for my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I find it really sad, all these moms who don't want to BF.

I do too. I don't really get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What did you do about your milk when it came in? Always kind of curious about this now that women don't get those shots anymore to make the milk dry up.

PP here -- I didn't do anything. My breasts were a bit sore for a few days; it felt kind-of similar to early pregnancy. Then I went back to normal. After the second day I didn't even try to put him to my breast and didn't try to pump. To the PP who finds it sad that some moms don't want to BF -- some of us just don't want to and we're glad to not be BF. I'm just so happy to be a normal person again and to not have any more physical demands placed on my body. I do get that "breast is best," but in my case I know I made the right decision for my family.

I'm not the PP here-- just wondering-- how are your breasts? Just asking because I just have trouble believing that pregnancy, not nursing, is the reason my previous nice, full As are now sad, soft AAs.

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to say the my son has been FF since he was 3 days old. I also know that "breast is best". I am a nurse and I unerstand all of the pros of breast feeding but in the end, we have to choose what is right for our family. FFing moms don't love their babies any less. We all want the best for our children. It is also important to have a happy mommy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I find it really sad, all these moms who don't want to BF.

I do too. I don't really get it.

Personally, I find it really sad that you two need to make other women feel badly about their decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I find it really sad, all these moms who don't want to BF.

I do too. I don't really get it.

Personally, I find it really sad that you two need to make other women feel badly about their decision.

Me too.