I am choosing not to breastfeed.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother didn't nurse any of her children. My mother breastfed each of her 4 children for consecutively less and less time. I only BF for 4 weeks. And then baby was FF till a year. I felt guilty being surrounded by friends who are (still!) marathon BFers so think about who's going to be around you and who can be most supportive of your decision if you start to question yourself. But BFing the first weeks, as long as it's not torturous to you, will definitely reap health benefits later on. If not, don't worry about it. Plenty of babies in this generation (adopted, etc.) and in previous generations never got BF.

[Anonymous]

Well obviously BF is not the be all and end all of mothering or raising a healthy kid. But I do have two friends who chose to stop after about 4 weeks, and their kids really struggled (as in were hospitalized at least once as infants) with a lot of illnesses. There clearly is not a 100% correlation between BF'ing and babies getting sick less often, but I think there is something to it and you never know how things will work out with any one particular child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well obviously BF is not the be all and end all of mothering or raising a healthy kid. But I do have two friends who chose to stop after about 4 weeks, and their kids really struggled (as in were hospitalized at least once as infants) with a lot of illnesses. There clearly is not a 100% correlation between BF'ing and babies getting sick less often, but I think there is something to it and you never know how things will work out with any one particular child.

The three sickliest children I know were the ones who were breastfed the longest. They have all really struggled with allergies and illness. Genetics and daycare matter a lot more to overall healthiness than what kind of milk a kids gets for the first 12 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am insecure about it. Absolutely. I've wrestled with the decision for months. And the reason I am posting is to find out if anyone else has made a similar choice.

It is very rare on this board to hear about someone making the choice not to BF. People most often say they had supply issues, were unable to BF etc. I'm sure this is true in most cases. I'm curious if there are instances in which people do make the same choice I am making and feel insecure saying it.

My friend has 6 kids (yes, you read correctly), and she nursed the first one for 3 weeks. The rest were FF.

She's about as confident (and as skinny) as you can get!

[Anonymous]

Clearly this is your decision, but you may want to try it and not make the decision in advance either way. I had my second three months ago and breastfeeding has been much much easier this time. DS latched on great right away and I've had none of the problems that I had the first time around (like cracked sore nipples, mastitis, etc.) Frankly it's super easy to be able to leave the house whenever and not have to worry about formula, bottles, etc. All I need is a nursing cover and I'm good to go. So maybe give it a shot for a little while and if it doesn't work for you then at least you've tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly this is your decision, but you may want to try it and not make the decision in advance either way. I had my second three months ago and breastfeeding has been much much easier this time. DS latched on great right away and I've had none of the problems that I had the first time around (like cracked sore nipples, mastitis, etc.) Frankly it's super easy to be able to leave the house whenever and not have to worry about formula, bottles, etc. All I need is a nursing cover and I'm good to go. So maybe give it a shot for a little while and if it doesn't work for you then at least you've tried.

Have to second this - just had #2 and have had a similar experience. With #1 we had a REALLY difficult start, and with #2 it was easy and pain free from the very beginning.

And am only suggesting this OP because you list a hard time BFing as one of your reasons. If all of your other reasons mean you want to FF from the start, no judgment here.

[Anonymous]

Just curious here but who other than close relatives, maybe a few close friends and your childcare provider even know whether you BF or not? I have several staff and co-workers who have had babies and I honestly have no idea how they feed their kids. We do talk about kid stuff but this has never come up nor would I really want to ask or chat about it anyway.

[Anonymous]

I breastfed my 4mo DS for three, long, miserable months. We never established a nursing relationship -- it was so painful, I couldn't do more than one session a day (it got more and more painful as the day and feedings progressed). I dealt with repeated cases of blocked ducts, my nipples were constantly cracked and bleeding. So I pumped 10 times a day. And fed the baby, and washed the parts, 10 times a day. It was miserable.

I wonder if, when I have #2, I'll try to BF. I probably will, because I feel like I owe it to the baby to give it a shot, and I hear about these others moms who had similar experiences with their first, but did well with their second child. Honestly though, the idea of it alone makes me sad about going back to that place where I was so tired and miserable and felt like such a failure. Oh, and in constant pain, too. That was fun.

So while I'm not there yet, OP, I may be in a year or two. You do what's right for you. Your baby will be fine and love you fiercely.

[Anonymous]

I chose not to breastfeed and did not breastfeed at all and I have 2 friends who did the same. It is not uncommom at all.

[Anonymous]

I had really low supply with my first one so it was an uphill battle for me that I kept up until she was almost 6 months old. To put it mildly, she was formula fed and we supplemented with breast milk. But when she was eating, it was such an amazing thing for me that it kept me going.

I'm expecting #2 in January and have thought about just going straight to bottle this time since supply issues are likely to return, I'm told (very small breasts that did not increase much in size during pregnancy).

But I would miss the breastfeeding, nuzzling the baby at my breast and watching it drink until it falls asleep. Those are some of the sweetest memories I have of those crazy first few months of DD's life.

So for #2, I will probably work at it while I'm on maternity leave, but will give it up a lot sooner than I did with #1 since I will not have the time for all the pumping I did the first time around, it was crazy.

[Anonymous]

no one is talking about the amount of money that could be saved by at least trying for a couple of months....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no one is talking about the amount of money that could be saved by at least trying for a couple of months....

die-hard bf-er here. This is because OP said she struggled for months with her decision and breastfed her first for a time. She likely knows the reasons and isn't looking for anyone to pile on the advantages of breastfeeding. She knows them and money is probably the least important benefit.

FWIW, I think others saying give colostrum are offering good advice that doesn't try to persuade her to go whole-hog. No reason to try to make this a persuasion-fest. If OP wants to reconsider, she will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At the very least, you could give your newborn some colostrum.

Agree with this. You could compromise.

I agree with this too.

[Anonymous]

Nooooo! For God's sake, I'll breastfeed your child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well obviously BF is not the be all and end all of mothering or raising a healthy kid. But I do have two friends who chose to stop after about 4 weeks, and their kids really struggled (as in were hospitalized at least once as infants) with a lot of illnesses. There clearly is not a 100% correlation between BF'ing and babies getting sick less often, but I think there is something to it and you never know how things will work out with any one particular child.

The three sickliest children I know were the ones who were breastfed the longest. They have all really struggled with allergies and illness. Genetics and daycare matter a lot more to overall healthiness than what kind of milk a kids gets for the first 12 months.

I agree with this. While I EBF my child (7months) he has terrible allergies and is sick a lot. That being said, I actually find breastfeeding to be a much easier option than formula feeding. I love being able to pull him into bed in the middle of the night and just let him nurse and do his thing while I fall back to "half sleep". I don't have to worry about bottles, making sure we always have enough on hand (I hate going to the store), plus i like the bonding (though when I have given him a bottle of milk looking straight into his eyes instead of the side of his head is definitely a bonding experience!) etc...pumping at work is a pain, but its cost effective. So, if you find FF to be easier for you, then there is nothing wrong with that.