Kid with sensory processing issue - can we apply to top private pre-K

[Anonymous]

OP he does not really show other signs of ASD though of course we will have him checked out. just sensory seeking behavior.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My 3yo had similar issues in a "top" Montessori preschool and ended up getting counseled out (the school handled it horribly but it was during the first full school year of covid so I try to give them some grace)

We ended up enrolling him in a behavioral intervention and it was honestly the best thing we could have done. I think he might have actually been ok-ish at 4 in a play-based pre-school but the behavioral intervention preschool gave him such better mastery of his behavior and body. He is now absolutely excelling in K and only gets glowing reports from all the activities he does and is flexible with changes in routine, transitions etc.

We still did a neuropsych when he turned 5 and he was Dx with anxiety, executive function issues (but not adhd) and profoundly gifted

Going through the experience was awful and like you I worried that we were going to be screwed for K and beyond. But honestly we are now so so thankful for it because he's in such a better place due to the early intervention at preschool

OP Thanks! Were they also sensory seeking? Was Montessori too unstructured for them?

What kind of behavioral intervention did you do? ABA?

And what kind of preschool turned out supportive? What kinds of things did you look for?

Thank you!

OP, get your child to a developmental ped or at least child find for an evaluation. You don't do a neuropsych at that age. ABA is for kids with autism and insurance doesn't pay without a diagnosis.

We had a child with significant delays. What we found was a more structured program that had consistent routines and a schedule best over play based. Play based was terrible.

OP so if the program was not play based, what kinds of things did you look for to assess more structure?

We scheduled an ASD evaluation for January. This is the best we can do. Wait times are crazy in NYC.

January, few months is pretty good. We just looked for a program that had some academics (I know many are against that but it actually helped with many of the delays), structure - specific class times with same transitions daily, scheduled bathroom breaks, etc., and lots of consistency. We looked at a bunch of preschools and many my kid by their body language wasn't a fan and the one we really liked allowed us to do a 1/2 day visit and both the child didn't want to leave and the staff seemed to want them to stay so it was a win. We stayed a few years as they also had prek-2nd. Also, small class sizes are important for more 1-1 support. Some schools are more receptive if you have outside therapies to kids, which we did.

OP What schools would fall in that bucket? Any ideas? Thanks so much.

I don't know anything about NY schools but we just looked for a traditional private school that had a preschool component to it. Go look at a variety of schools and take your child and see how they respond and where they are most comfortable.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should focus on what would be a good fit for your actual child rather than "top" preschools. This is a bigger issue.

Hold up a second and hard no on this.
1- I live in nyc and kid at private and at least 50% of boys in ny privates are asked for evaluations. It’s partly an insurance policy in case they need to counsel out to keep their tt/ ivies emissions in shape
2 - many of our kids fall into a neurodiverse category now more than ever. We should never assume too tier privates can’t accommodate that - it depends on the kid. Pretty sure if they were at school in 2022 aged 8 that bill gates and Elon would have had their asd dx by age 8. Doesn’t mean they don’t belong in too tier private any more than op’s kid walloping some other 2 year olds means op should necessarily pull him out. If he’s unhappy? Yes. If his needs are not able to be met? Yes. We don’t know that yet
3. - tbe better we enable our kids to get to know themselves the more diagnoses we will find and schools need to adapt. Op - don’t assume your kid can’t run in the big leagues. Happiness first but you are his mother and you will notice if that’s being sacrificed. Don’t let anyone tell you differently

OP

Thanks. He’s in a regular daycare now but we wanted to apply for PreK3 or K.

The issue is the school now is ok but they are not sophisticated in their approach to these issues.

A good school would likely have better teachers and staff who ate more sophisticated so I feel like he would receive more support.

It does not have to the very top but a good school who can afford to hire great teachers and staff.

Nope. Re-think that assumption, OP! The schools you perceive as "good" get and stay that way by rejecting or counseling out students who have these issues. So their teachers don't have to deal with it, and so that they don't have to provide support! It seems like you're looking to find a school with top test scores (or top something, dunno what) and just enough tolerance for special needs so that you can squeak in just over the acceptance line, but that kind of school *by definition* doesn't have a lot of students with special needs.

Not necessarily, but usually the case. The top schools aren't always the best. We looked for schools with college educated staff as a priority and just observed the interactions. Some of the stuff that went on at "top" preschools wasn't right for our family.

Op Yes, our daycare does not have college-educated staff, at least not all.

Sometimes being well cared for is more important than college-educated so remember its a balance. If he is safe and happy you may want to consider leaving him for another year or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP he does not really show other signs of ASD though of course we will have him checked out. just sensory seeking behavior.

What do you consider sensory-seeking behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not read through all the posts but wanted to say my kid is a sensory seeker and at top 3 doing really well in Kindergarten. I wouldn't rule it out but I would get good intervention now and keep an open and flexible attitude. I cant tell you how many times I was told kid would have ADHD and one preschool we were at briefly was a terrible fit. My kid bit other kids under 18 months, played roughly, came home with I don't know how many bloody noises from crashing into things. Long story short we got OT early and used DC Early Stages intervention to get free developmental therapy and in home OT services. During the pandemic we paid for private OT. My kids worst sensory year was 2 - we did not seem on a good path but followed the advice doing the sensory diet, lots of physical play, found a supportive preschool (not one of the prestigious ones), gave our kiddo lots of queues, warnings, countdowns and a lot more structure. We were told if the sensory diet is properly implemented and works then they are not hyperactive but will need support until they learn to deal with transitions, extra energy, and sitting still. As we entered pre-K3 we noticed a lot of improvement with bedtime routines, following instructions, focus and attention but were still struggling with sitting still. We decided to look at privates and got testing. Throughout preschool we got feedback that kid was excelling at communications and with art but was very energetic, and physical. Ed testing confirmed this so we applied to several schools and a top 3 on whim and were accepted. Kiddo was discharged from all services mid-way through PK4 but we still work closely with teachers to make sure we are on track and these issues are not resurfacing. It is too early to say how this will pan it in the long-term and we remain open to moving to another private if is best. It was an emotional roller coaster because at some point we let go of the expectation that our could would thrive in a competitive environment (though I think all Kindergartens are pretty supportive) and focus on other options. So it was heard to accept that a top 3 might be a fit.


OP
Thanks for sharing. Glad it worked out for you guys.

Is developmental therapy different than OT?

Our child is also a sensory seeker.

How long did OT take to start working?

What kinds of support did the preschool provide?



Hang in there and keep an open mind. Two was a very hard year for us and I really worried how my kid would thrive in school but at least some kids do improve with age and therapy and even those that progress to an ADHD diagnosis have some great treatment options and thrive with support.

It took about year to see real progress from when we found the right therapist but we only did twice a month therapy and it took us a while to get the right routine down and make adjustments for age. I will be honest when we started I was a bit frazzled and didn't always implement the recommendations as well as I could have.

We did both OT and developmental therapy. I think developmental therapy is more for the parents -- ie this how to dissuade you child from xx behavior in an age appropriate manner and here is a plan to work in with you daycare and at home to encourage sitting at circle time or discourage yanking toys away from other kids. They also reinforced specific tactics for bedtime routines, provided us parenting articles and resources, and answered our questions and helped set our expectations for what meal time success looks like at 2 vs 3. For instance, our DT recommended " The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder" which really helped us understand what our kid was going through.

OT was all about exercises to sooth and stimulate our kid and establishing a sensory diet that worked for our lives. Our kid was diagnosed before 2 because they were in PT for a separate issue and the PT noticed sensory issues. Still it took us until about 21/4 to find an OT that really knew about sensory integration therapy and our kid was always borderline sensory seeking and meeting other milestones except maybe self control related goals. If you are in the city I recommend Skills on the Hill or Sensational Kids (out of net for us) or Triumph Therapy (in net for us).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not read through all the posts but wanted to say my kid is a sensory seeker and at top 3 doing really well in Kindergarten. I wouldn't rule it out but I would get good intervention now and keep an open and flexible attitude. I cant tell you how many times I was told kid would have ADHD and one preschool we were at briefly was a terrible fit. My kid bit other kids under 18 months, played roughly, came home with I don't know how many bloody noises from crashing into things. Long story short we got OT early and used DC Early Stages intervention to get free developmental therapy and in home OT services. During the pandemic we paid for private OT. My kids worst sensory year was 2 - we did not seem on a good path but followed the advice doing the sensory diet, lots of physical play, found a supportive preschool (not one of the prestigious ones), gave our kiddo lots of queues, warnings, countdowns and a lot more structure. We were told if the sensory diet is properly implemented and works then they are not hyperactive but will need support until they learn to deal with transitions, extra energy, and sitting still. As we entered pre-K3 we noticed a lot of improvement with bedtime routines, following instructions, focus and attention but were still struggling with sitting still. We decided to look at privates and got testing. Throughout preschool we got feedback that kid was excelling at communications and with art but was very energetic, and physical. Ed testing confirmed this so we applied to several schools and a top 3 on whim and were accepted. Kiddo was discharged from all services mid-way through PK4 but we still work closely with teachers to make sure we are on track and these issues are not resurfacing. It is too early to say how this will pan it in the long-term and we remain open to moving to another private if is best. It was an emotional roller coaster because at some point we let go of the expectation that our could would thrive in a competitive environment (though I think all Kindergartens are pretty supportive) and focus on other options. So it was heard to accept that a top 3 might be a fit.


OP
Thanks for sharing. Glad it worked out for you guys.

Is developmental therapy different than OT?

Our child is also a sensory seeker.

How long did OT take to start working?

What kinds of support did the preschool provide?



Hang in there and keep an open mind. Two was a very hard year for us and I really worried how my kid would thrive in school but at least some kids do improve with age and therapy and even those that progress to an ADHD diagnosis have some great treatment options and thrive with support.

It took about year to see real progress from when we found the right therapist but we only did twice a month therapy and it took us a while to get the right routine down and make adjustments for age. I will be honest when we started I was a bit frazzled and didn't always implement the recommendations as well as I could have.

We did both OT and developmental therapy. I think developmental therapy is more for the parents -- ie this how to dissuade you child from xx behavior in an age appropriate manner and here is a plan to work in with you daycare and at home to encourage sitting at circle time or discourage yanking toys away from other kids. They also reinforced specific tactics for bedtime routines, provided us parenting articles and resources, and answered our questions and helped set our expectations for what meal time success looks like at 2 vs 3. For instance, our DT recommended " The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder" which really helped us understand what our kid was going through.

OT was all about exercises to sooth and stimulate our kid and establishing a sensory diet that worked for our lives. Our kid was diagnosed before 2 because they were in PT for a separate issue and the PT noticed sensory issues. Still it took us until about 21/4 to find an OT that really knew about sensory integration therapy and our kid was always borderline sensory seeking and meeting other milestones except maybe self control related goals. If you are in the city I recommend Skills on the Hill or Sensational Kids (out of net for us) or Triumph Therapy (in net for us).

One more thought. When I got to the correct therapy center, I was not the only parent in the waiting area from my kiddo's private though I don't know why they were there. And to echo what another parent mentioned, high energy and dysregulation can be sign of high intelligence as well as ADHD/ASD so while it is trying and taxing as the parent especially at this moment just remember that some amazing intellectuals/artists had early childhood struggles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP he does not really show other signs of ASD though of course we will have him checked out. just sensory seeking behavior.

What do you consider sensory-seeking behavior?

OP hyperactivity, bumping into things, pushing heaving stuff, not knowing own force, liking to carry heavy bags

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not read through all the posts but wanted to say my kid is a sensory seeker and at top 3 doing really well in Kindergarten. I wouldn't rule it out but I would get good intervention now and keep an open and flexible attitude. I cant tell you how many times I was told kid would have ADHD and one preschool we were at briefly was a terrible fit. My kid bit other kids under 18 months, played roughly, came home with I don't know how many bloody noises from crashing into things. Long story short we got OT early and used DC Early Stages intervention to get free developmental therapy and in home OT services. During the pandemic we paid for private OT. My kids worst sensory year was 2 - we did not seem on a good path but followed the advice doing the sensory diet, lots of physical play, found a supportive preschool (not one of the prestigious ones), gave our kiddo lots of queues, warnings, countdowns and a lot more structure. We were told if the sensory diet is properly implemented and works then they are not hyperactive but will need support until they learn to deal with transitions, extra energy, and sitting still. As we entered pre-K3 we noticed a lot of improvement with bedtime routines, following instructions, focus and attention but were still struggling with sitting still. We decided to look at privates and got testing. Throughout preschool we got feedback that kid was excelling at communications and with art but was very energetic, and physical. Ed testing confirmed this so we applied to several schools and a top 3 on whim and were accepted. Kiddo was discharged from all services mid-way through PK4 but we still work closely with teachers to make sure we are on track and these issues are not resurfacing. It is too early to say how this will pan it in the long-term and we remain open to moving to another private if is best. It was an emotional roller coaster because at some point we let go of the expectation that our could would thrive in a competitive environment (though I think all Kindergartens are pretty supportive) and focus on other options. So it was heard to accept that a top 3 might be a fit.


OP
Thanks for sharing. Glad it worked out for you guys.

Is developmental therapy different than OT?

Our child is also a sensory seeker.

How long did OT take to start working?

What kinds of support did the preschool provide?



Hang in there and keep an open mind. Two was a very hard year for us and I really worried how my kid would thrive in school but at least some kids do improve with age and therapy and even those that progress to an ADHD diagnosis have some great treatment options and thrive with support.

It took about year to see real progress from when we found the right therapist but we only did twice a month therapy and it took us a while to get the right routine down and make adjustments for age. I will be honest when we started I was a bit frazzled and didn't always implement the recommendations as well as I could have.

We did both OT and developmental therapy. I think developmental therapy is more for the parents -- ie this how to dissuade you child from xx behavior in an age appropriate manner and here is a plan to work in with you daycare and at home to encourage sitting at circle time or discourage yanking toys away from other kids. They also reinforced specific tactics for bedtime routines, provided us parenting articles and resources, and answered our questions and helped set our expectations for what meal time success looks like at 2 vs 3. For instance, our DT recommended " The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder" which really helped us understand what our kid was going through.

OT was all about exercises to sooth and stimulate our kid and establishing a sensory diet that worked for our lives. Our kid was diagnosed before 2 because they were in PT for a separate issue and the PT noticed sensory issues. Still it took us until about 21/4 to find an OT that really knew about sensory integration therapy and our kid was always borderline sensory seeking and meeting other milestones except maybe self control related goals. If you are in the city I recommend Skills on the Hill or Sensational Kids (out of net for us) or Triumph Therapy (in net for us).

OP thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP he does not really show other signs of ASD though of course we will have him checked out. just sensory seeking behavior.

What do you consider sensory-seeking behavior?

OP hyperactivity, bumping into things, pushing heaving stuff, not knowing own force, liking to carry heavy bags

That is not really sensory processing and more add or adhd but at that age it can also be normal. That’s generally not asd.

[Anonymous]

Op, it is unwise, and frankly cruel to your son to aspire to put him in an environment, that isn't even "ordinary" but is extremely competitive and would require him to shoulder a great deal of stress, academic(eventually) and otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP he does not really show other signs of ASD though of course we will have him checked out. just sensory seeking behavior.

What do you consider sensory-seeking behavior?

OP hyperactivity, bumping into things, pushing heaving stuff, not knowing own force, liking to carry heavy bags

That is not really sensory processing and more add or adhd but at that age it can also be normal. That’s generally not asd.

OP he does also pile toys and repeats words. But yes agree most likely sensory processing / future adhd.

He does not sit still and runs around continuously. Wanders aimlessly around and rarely sits with a toy unless he’s super interested and you’re sitting with him. Always fidgets. Has a hard time with transitions.

[Anonymous]

OP

Update here - talked to a few friends who have kids at top private schools in Manhattan. Most said it’s definitely possible to get in but much more difficult than if he did not have sensory issues (we’re not legacy, etc). Also if we apply for next year we might get black listed for future years too in the sense that they would flag as problems already for K.