Poll: dinner out or dinner at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

The responses you are getting are so interesting. We wouldn’t mind if you didn’t serve alcohol and we wouldn’t need a heads-up. We collect wine and would probably bring you an expensive bottle as a gift if we didn’t know the situation. I assume at some point in the evening we would all figure out the situation and hopefully laugh it off. And then we would know to bring you something different next time!

[Anonymous]

Depends on the relationship. With close friends, I prefer in-home - I know we'll have lots to talk about, won't be as worried about kids' behavior, we know your home preferences, etc. For more distant friends, I prefer a restaurant - there is a cap on timing, I won't feel obligated to reciprocate.

If in-home, I'd expect to be offered alcohol so a heads-up if the host doesn't drink would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I have a preference. It depends on the weather, the friends, the restaurant, the occasion, etc. Either one is great if they are good friends I enjoy spending time with.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

Are you OP? I have a lot of Muslim friends and do often go to brunches, lunches and happy hours in big groups. Are they offended when I order wine? I know that some/most of my Muslim friends don't drink, but they still enjoy the happy hour appetizers and atmosphere. I'm wondering now if I'm being offensive in drinking in front of them. I'm not an alcoholic and can have fun without drinking... but I like to order wine or a cocktail when at a restaurant with friends. Does the answer matter if it's just myself and another person versus a big group? We've never really talked about it before because religion rarely comes up, plus we have friends who don't drink because they're pregnant or whatnot. I also didn't know that a Muslim family wouldn't serve wine or have beers for non Muslims at their house. I know it's not the same, but we don't drink anything other than wine, coffee or water at my house, so I usually pick up stuff for non drinkers before I host.

[Anonymous]

I would prefer to go to a restaurant IF I know the hosts will be stressing out and aren’t naturally generous, expansive cooks. We all stress out before a dinner party, but the hosts should err on the side of excess food and casual warmth. I am not interested in interesting platings and wine pairings and a hostess that is perspiring. I want to see expensive cheeses and good bread. You can never go wrong with a tray of roasted vegetables. I prefer premium ice cream and a good cookie to more involved, often inferior desserts.

[Anonymous]

Home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

Are you OP? I have a lot of Muslim friends and do often go to brunches, lunches and happy hours in big groups. Are they offended when I order wine? I know that some/most of my Muslim friends don't drink, but they still enjoy the happy hour appetizers and atmosphere. I'm wondering now if I'm being offensive in drinking in front of them. I'm not an alcoholic and can have fun without drinking... but I like to order wine or a cocktail when at a restaurant with friends. Does the answer matter if it's just myself and another person versus a big group? We've never really talked about it before because religion rarely comes up, plus we have friends who don't drink because they're pregnant or whatnot. I also didn't know that a Muslim family wouldn't serve wine or have beers for non Muslims at their house. I know it's not the same, but we don't drink anything other than wine, coffee or water at my house, so I usually pick up stuff for non drinkers before I host.

I’m not the PP but I am Muslim. I wouldn’t be offended if you drank when we went out, just like you wouldn’t (I hope) be offended if I didn’t have alcohol to serve when you came over. It’s not that I’m against alcohol in my home, it’s literally because we have never bought it. I once asked on DCUM whether I should keep coffee and a coffee maker in the house for guests since neither of us are coffee drinkers. The most common response I got was wow I was being so nice and no, there’s no need to. People can get their coffee elsewhere. So I would assume the same goes for alcohol.