Poll: dinner out or dinner at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

[Anonymous]

Restaurant

[Anonymous]

Home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

I am fine being very open about our family’s belief and practice, which you are correct, is different than others. My concern was rooted in the comment that someone couldn’t be relaxed or wouldn’t find an evening enjoyable without alcohol. I want my home to be a warm and welcoming place and therefore happy to tell other the menu, beverages and ensure what we are serving suits them. We just don’t do alcohol in our home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

I am fine being very open about our family’s belief and practice, which you are correct, is different than others. My concern was rooted in the comment that someone couldn’t be relaxed or wouldn’t find an evening enjoyable without alcohol. I want my home to be a warm and welcoming place and therefore happy to tell other the menu, beverages and ensure what we are serving suits them. We just don’t do alcohol in our home.

A Muslim family has hosted us before, and all guests were very respectful about the fact they were not comfortable with alcohol being served in their house. They served some mock tails. The host just made if clear on the invite.

[Anonymous]

Much prefer home. Restaurant I feel as if I'm on the clock since the server wants to turn the table. At home if we enjoy one another's company I want to linger. Doesn't matter if we order in or you cook or we split and our family brings part of the meal. My preference is home.

To the Muslim family, I wouldn't worry. Yes, most people at least around here drink alcohol and so might anticipate that the pre-dinner drink offerings would include it, but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who judged me if I didn't offer it. We have friends who are recovered alcoholics, having recovered even before we met. We didn't know that the first time we went to their house but went with the flow when the drink offerings were sodas, waters and lemonade. Later they shared their situation, and we never even thought about it again. We also have family in the deep South who are conservative Christians. Again, no alcohol at gatherings among their social circle. No biggie.

[Anonymous]

If there are little kids, ordering out and picking up dinner to eat at home.

If there are teensgers/adults, eating out is highly preferred.

I only enjoy other peoples’ home cooked meals if it’s an incredible spread. For example my friend is Japanese and made an incredible sushi, pork belly, seaweed salad, miso soup and green tea dessert roll feast from scratch. That’s a good home meal, on par with a restaurant. Other folks try to pull off a casserole and salad which is a no.

Most people are not as good at cooking as they think they are. (I’m not great either, which is why I’d never do a home cooked meal for adult guests)

[Anonymous]

Home

[Anonymous]

Our family lives far away. When they visit they deserve a home cooked meal after traveling so far.
I thought everyone felt the same way but when we travel to my SIL’s house they immediately want to go out, and we just drove 7 hours.
Recently found out she can’t cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

I am fine being very open about our family’s belief and practice, which you are correct, is different than others. My concern was rooted in the comment that someone couldn’t be relaxed or wouldn’t find an evening enjoyable without alcohol. I want my home to be a warm and welcoming place and therefore happy to tell other the menu, beverages and ensure what we are serving suits them. We just don’t do alcohol in our home.

One of my closets friends is a Muslim who doesn’t drink alcohol. I LOVE going to her house because she’s an amazing cook. If people need alcohol to enjoy themselves, you probably don’t want to be friends with them anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

Different PP, but I would only go once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

I am fine being very open about our family’s belief and practice, which you are correct, is different than others. My concern was rooted in the comment that someone couldn’t be relaxed or wouldn’t find an evening enjoyable without alcohol. I want my home to be a warm and welcoming place and therefore happy to tell other the menu, beverages and ensure what we are serving suits them. We just don’t do alcohol in our home.

Are you not even open to having a couple bottles of wine on hand in case a guests would like a glass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

I am fine being very open about our family’s belief and practice, which you are correct, is different than others. My concern was rooted in the comment that someone couldn’t be relaxed or wouldn’t find an evening enjoyable without alcohol. I want my home to be a warm and welcoming place and therefore happy to tell other the menu, beverages and ensure what we are serving suits them. We just don’t do alcohol in our home.

For what it's worth, I'd actually be more relaxed in your home! For no particular reason I simply don't drink. I find hosts simply don't know what to do with those of us who don't want a wineglass or a beer! I find it unnerving that at least one PP said they would have to bring alcohol if it wasn't being served. I'm coming for your company, not your liquor.

Maybe I just need more Muslim friends!

[Anonymous]

We’re also Muslim but not very strict or practicing. But neither of us drink, it’s not something either of us got into even though as a PP mentioned, plenty of Muslims do drink. We don’t keep alcohol in the house and only once someone brought beer to a backyard bbq we were hosting; we’ve been married over 20 years. I’m surprised by some of the responses here about expecting to be served alcohol and wanting to know beforehand if there wasn’t going to be any.
Maybe we just run in different circles but that’s never been an issue with our very diverse group of friends.
Back to the OP - if they are good friends I like to eat at home since it’s more relaxing. With people I don’t know as well, I’m more comfortable in a restaurant.