Poll: dinner out or dinner at home?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go into a restaurant or home right now but it really depends on the cook/food. I'm really picky so usually I'd say restaurant so I don't offend anyone.

[Anonymous]

The alcohol thing is like expecting someone to have a soup or salad before dinner. Some people do it every meal, some dont. I would never go to someone else's house EXPECTING soup/salad and want them to tell me ahead of time if they arent serving it.

OP- I would prefer home if its with kids and out if it is just adults unless you have entertainment planned for after dinner- couple games, fire pit, etc. If its just dinner, then a restaurant so we can part at the end of the meal.

[Anonymous]

I have a differnet question: why do you need the approval of strangers online to make such a basic decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

Np. Luckily for them I bring a bottle of wine as a gift. So they can serve that

[Anonymous]

Home (whether takeout pizza or a homecooked meal). To me, it is more relaxing and more fun for the kids. In terms of the question about no-alcohol homes-that is unusual in my circles but not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Dinner at a restaurant. Definitely my preference when meeting up with another family. 100%.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

See, I would rather you said something to a dinner guest so I didn’t bring a bottle of wine, which would be both wasted on you and also make me feel like a boor. It would also prepare me that the evening would be dry.

+1. Dp. Also you don’t have to say you don’t drink because of religion. Plenty of Muslims drink alcohol. Just say you don’t drink alcohol and people are very unlikely to bring some.

I am fine being very open about our family’s belief and practice, which you are correct, is different than others. My concern was rooted in the comment that someone couldn’t be relaxed or wouldn’t find an evening enjoyable without alcohol. I want my home to be a warm and welcoming place and therefore happy to tell other the menu, beverages and ensure what we are serving suits them. We just don’t do alcohol in our home.

One of my closets friends is a Muslim who doesn’t drink alcohol. I LOVE going to her house because she’s an amazing cook. If people need alcohol to enjoy themselves, you probably don’t want to be friends with them anyways.

Ugh. So judgmental. Drink or don’t drink. But choosing friend based on that? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dinner at a restaurant. Definitely my preference when meeting up with another family. 100%.


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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re also Muslim but not very strict or practicing. But neither of us drink, it’s not something either of us got into even though as a PP mentioned, plenty of Muslims do drink. We don’t keep alcohol in the house and only once someone brought beer to a backyard bbq we were hosting; we’ve been married over 20 years. I’m surprised by some of the responses here about expecting to be served alcohol and wanting to know beforehand if there wasn’t going to be any.
Maybe we just run in different circles but that’s never been an issue with our very diverse group of friends.
Back to the OP - if they are good friends I like to eat at home since it’s more relaxing. With people I don’t know as well, I’m more comfortable in a restaurant.

Yes, I think it’s different circles. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t drink—including my Muslim friends! I think it’s so out of the ordinary not to provide alcohol that it should definitely be mentioned at some point in the invitation process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re also Muslim but not very strict or practicing. But neither of us drink, it’s not something either of us got into even though as a PP mentioned, plenty of Muslims do drink. We don’t keep alcohol in the house and only once someone brought beer to a backyard bbq we were hosting; we’ve been married over 20 years. I’m surprised by some of the responses here about expecting to be served alcohol and wanting to know beforehand if there wasn’t going to be any.
Maybe we just run in different circles but that’s never been an issue with our very diverse group of friends.
Back to the OP - if they are good friends I like to eat at home since it’s more relaxing. With people I don’t know as well, I’m more comfortable in a restaurant.

Yes, I think it’s different circles. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t drink—including my Muslim friends! I think it’s so out of the ordinary not to provide alcohol that it should definitely be mentioned at some point in the invitation process.

And I’ll add that I would feel the same about a vegan household.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

I think that putting it away could be interpreted as rude. If you don’t want people even drinking wine that they brought as a gift with dinner (usually the host opens the bottle to serve it), then just give them a heads up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Home. I love seeing what people cook, relaxing over a cocktail, etc. Restaurants are kind of loud and boring.

Since you said relaxing over a cocktail makes the night more enjoyable, how do you feel if the hosts don’t have alcohol in the house and only offer tea, sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

I’ll be honest, I don’t love it. I never drink sugary drinks like lemonade with dinner. Tea, maybe if they’re making Asian food. I’ve never gotten into sparkling water, would as soon have tap, but it doesn’t seem very exciting.

Agree. I don't happen to know anyone who wouldn't serve alcohol in their home even if they themselves don't drink it, and I can honestly say this has never happened to me. I think people so extreme that they don't even have any alcohol at home probably socialize with other people who feel the same.

This is helpful. We are Muslim and don’t keep alcohol in the home. Where we live there are very few who share our religion thus we have a very diverse friend group. Many actually don’t know we are Muslim as we don’t broadcast it. Would you prefer to know prior to coming over so you could turn down an invitation? We are just not starting to invite new families over but would hate to ostracize ourselves as poor hosts due to our beliefs.

I would still come but it might make things less awkward to mention it in advance. And to pp's point I'd probably clarify whether you just don't drink or don't allow it in your home.

We would prefer not to have anyone drinking in our home, but that is something we tend to be more conservative on as compared to others who share our religion. If someone brought a bottle of wine as a hostess gift I would never say anything other than thank you and just put it on the counter/ pantry. I want people to feel welcome in our home but this is also a closely held belief of ours in our home. For instance, if we are dining out at a restaurant and another couple orders a drink we would not say/do anything.

I think that putting it away could be interpreted as rude. If you don’t want people even drinking wine that they brought as a gift with dinner (usually the host opens the bottle to serve it), then just give them a heads up.

No, there is no expectation or requirement that a host open a bottle that the guest has brought. The point of a hostess gift is that it is for the host(ess). However, I’m the one who said I want a heads-up on not bringing a bottle of wine so I don’t waste my money and make it awkward.

[Anonymous]

I would not care at all if a non-drinking household didn’t offer me alcohol and I’m surprised to hear there are people who would be upset by this. You need alcohol at literally every dinner you have? I think a non awkward way for the host to handle would be to ask guests if they have any allergies or dietary restrictions. After the guests respond to that, I’d politely let them know your dietary restriction (no alcohol) just so you avoid wrong expectations or someone buying you a bottle of wine and feeling guilty/awkward afterwards.

As for the OP’s original question. I am fine to meet people out at a restaurant OR go to their home. I don’t particularly love hosting meals at my home because I find it stressful guessing what other people actually like, and the pickiest people tend to be the least communicative of their needs and the most pouty/unappreciative of my efforts to try to make a nice meal with options for them. My own family literally eats anything and everything so we are flexible to eat whatever wherever. The only thing that that is problematic for us is if there’s not enough food. Like a mom who ordered one pizza for 5 tween boys. Not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends if I like their cooking. I am friends with a professional chef whose cooking I literally never like. I’m friends with others whose cooking I really enjoy.

This is really interesting! What don’t you like about your professional chef friend’s meals?

I generally prefer to host at home and attend dinner at others’ homes. I cook all the meals for my family and am thrilled on the rare occasions that I get to eat a home-cooked meal made by someone else. I love going out to restaurants with friends for lunch, though, because I like trying new places with adventurous eaters who are fine sharing.

If I were invited to the home of someone who neither drank nor served alcohol, I’d like to know in advance so I didn’t bring wine as a thank you. Would not care if it turns out the hosts were vegan, as I’ll eat virtually anything.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

Poll results so far: 23 prefer home, 15 prefer restaurants. Most prefer eating at someone’s home, particularly if with younger kids.