Social Climbing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant and I have a dream. My dream is to ascend to the American upper middle to upper class. I was recently watching The Luckiest Girl in the World on Netflix and was intrigued by the machinations of the protagonist as she tries to escape her lower middle class roots. Truly though, how does one do this in real life?

I am not super pretty but I am thin. I am generally smart. I work at a local financial services company and live in Falls Church. I am married to my white American husband but he doesn't really bring much to the table in terms of my social climbing aspirations. He went to one of the local privates and an Ivy but he is a normal low key guy who prefers to go on hikes and play video games, lol. We do OK but not great, 300k
as of recently.

What can I do to raise my social status?

Grab Elon musk before World Class Social Climber Gold Digger Meghan Markle Sussex divorces milquetoast Prince Harry and goes after Musk

Actually, you sound as though you and Meghan are sisters.

That post was not at all helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The video games are a problem. You are pretty much sunk. The sooner you realize this the better, and this is not a LOL kind of situation. Fairly bad situation for your kids, much less yourself. Your chess move is next.

I know, right? 300k, Falls Church. I mean just a sad situation all around /s
The only bad situation I can think of re: OP’s kids is that their mom is going to give them a complex by being a striver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video games are a problem. You are pretty much sunk. The sooner you realize this the better, and this is not a LOL kind of situation. Fairly bad situation for your kids, much less yourself. Your chess move is next.

I know, right? 300k, Falls Church. I mean just a sad situation all around /s
The only bad situation I can think of re: OP’s kids is that their mom is going to give them a complex by being a striver.

90% of non-natives in the D.C. area are strivers.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should have married a different guy for your aspirations. Falls Church and different husband would help.

[Anonymous]

^^ I meant NOT Falls Church..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video games are a problem. You are pretty much sunk. The sooner you realize this the better, and this is not a LOL kind of situation. Fairly bad situation for your kids, much less yourself. Your chess move is next.

I know, right? 300k, Falls Church. I mean just a sad situation all around /s
The only bad situation I can think of re: OP’s kids is that their mom is going to give them a complex by being a striver.

90% of non-natives in the D.C. area are strivers.

And the natives are losers. Why else live in DC if it’s not for work? DC isn’t a city like NY where people actually want to live and visit. It’s a company town. It’s almost worse to grow up in DC, go away to college and then decide that you want to return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar income and similar Ivy PhD husband with a solid GS-15 job, just over the FC border 1/2 mile into Arlington.

We ARE upper middle class. You ARE upper middle class. Anyone in middle America would look at our $1M 2400sq ft 1940s colonials and just see a $1M house 5 miles from DC. My friends back home in small town Ohio would look at the quality of our public schools, the types of people my kids are exposed to, the quality and range of restaurants and stores that are easily accessible to us and be jealous. I grew up where my friends parents were all teachers, skilled factory workers, plumbers, truck drivers, and small business wonders. Small business like the local carpet and tile store, not a boutique IT firm consulting on Federal contracts. The adults in my kids lives are all lawyers, lobbyists, GS15s and SES execs, journalists at nationally known publications, authors who get interviewed on the news, experts who contribute thought leadership on national policy.

What part of upper class / upper middle class life do you want that you are missing?
A big, fancy house like on HGTV? Move west to Ashburn or Leesburg.
International vacations? Private School? Prioritize your budget.
Galas, balls, and society events? Find some causes or organizations you are passionate about and volunteer and get involved.
Sending your kids to cotillion? You can do that.
Joining a country club? You can do that. But unless it benefits your career with connections and a place to entertain, I suggest the middle class NoVa networking version - join a pool and put your kids on summer swim team.
Plays, concerts, and fancy dinners? You can do that. D.C. is a quick Uber ride away.

But what is any of this for?
Are you networking to make career moves to increase earnings?
Are you positioning your kids to have peers that will also be striving for elite colleges and whose parents might serve as connections for internships and career advice?
Do you just want more interesting adult friends to talk to?

I find that so many people in the DC metro area have fascinating and impressive jobs and accomplishments that aren’t lucrative. Also a lot of smart and interesting people come to this area because they felt called to public service and if they didn’t come from family money, their life looks a lot like your current life. If you are writing off people in your current orbit, ask yourself why. If you are scheming and strategizing your friendships and your social interactions, people will see through your insincerity and you will end up worse off than if you just organically and sincerely cultivate relationships.

I think the opposite. I’m from a wealthy neighborhood of a MCOL city and my friends from home always seemed to feel bad for me. They had no idea how much my house was. Instead they saw a crappy old house. I don’t think they thought we did well at all. They had these giant new houses with $150k kitchens and two luxury cars.

[Anonymous]

You have a fantasy in your head that I’m not sure exists in reality.

[Anonymous]

troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a fantasy in your head that I’m not sure exists in reality.

DP.

What an odd comment.

Do you mean it is a fantasy for OP to think she will ever climb into the upper class?

Or do you mean the upper class world doesn’t exist? If this is the case, take a drive out through Potomac and marvel at all the $5 million plus estates with servants and Bentleys. The people living there are not like you. Nothing like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a fantasy in your head that I’m not sure exists in reality.

DP.

What an odd comment.

Do you mean it is a fantasy for OP to think she will ever climb into the upper class?

Or do you mean the upper class world doesn’t exist? If this is the case, take a drive out through Potomac and marvel at all the $5 million plus estates with servants and Bentleys. The people living there are not like you. Nothing like you.

How do you know PP doesn’t live in Potomac in a $5 mil mansion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video games are a problem. You are pretty much sunk. The sooner you realize this the better, and this is not a LOL kind of situation. Fairly bad situation for your kids, much less yourself. Your chess move is next.

I know, right? 300k, Falls Church. I mean just a sad situation all around /s
The only bad situation I can think of re: OP’s kids is that their mom is going to give them a complex by being a striver.

90% of non-natives in the D.C. area are strivers.

And the natives are losers. Why else live in DC if it’s not for work? DC isn’t a city like NY where people actually want to live and visit. It’s a company town. It’s almost worse to grow up in DC, go away to college and then decide that you want to return.

Because you have friends, family, roots a nice house, good stable job and access to world class culture and food? How crazy, right! I should move straight to Texas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you were probably not upper class in your own culture. It is hard to get the class and breeding if you are not the elite in your own culture.

Elites from other cultures who come here remain elites in the expat community and then they also have the wealth and SES in US. Since a good education is part and parcel of their DNA, they actually see marrying some WASP person a lowering of their own status.

Good advice has been given to start becoming involved with charitable foundations. Yes, your DH situation sounds like a bummer. Can he be atleast relied upon to remain by and large helpful and inoffensive?

Vomit. This is so over the top, I'm going to assume you are being tongue-in-cheek.

Honestly this is accurate and I don’t get why you’re so triggered. Are you a poor WASP or something? Most elites from other countries/cultures don’t want to marry a rich WASP just like rich WASPs don’t want to marry outside their own race. OP is a rube who thought marrying a professional white guy would elevate her.

Op is probably Indian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The video games are a problem. You are pretty much sunk. The sooner you realize this the better, and this is not a LOL kind of situation. Fairly bad situation for your kids, much less yourself. Your chess move is next.

I know, right? 300k, Falls Church. I mean just a sad situation all around /s
The only bad situation I can think of re: OP’s kids is that their mom is going to give them a complex by being a striver.

90% of non-natives in the D.C. area are strivers.

And the natives are losers. Why else live in DC if it’s not for work? DC isn’t a city like NY where people actually want to live and visit. It’s a company town. It’s almost worse to grow up in DC, go away to college and then decide that you want to return.

^NYC is disgusting and most people don't want to live there - ok to visit but wouldn't want to live there.

[Anonymous]

I call troll or low IQ if OP truly thinks 300K is not upper middle class.