Social Climbing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant and I have a dream. My dream is to ascend to the American upper middle to upper class. I was recently watching The Luckiest Girl in the World on Netflix and was intrigued by the machinations of the protagonist as she tries to escape her lower middle class roots. Truly though, how does one do this in real life?

I am not super pretty but I am thin. I am generally smart. I work at a local financial services company and live in Falls Church. I am married to my white American husband but he doesn't really bring much to the table in terms of my social climbing aspirations. He went to one of the local privates and an Ivy but he is a normal low key guy who prefers to go on hikes and play video games, lol. We do OK but not great, 300k
as of recently.

What can I do to raise my social status?

You have already dropped a class thinking you need to 'escape' whatever imaginary class you believe in. Focus on raising a happy healthy loving family and be good human. There are shitty/awesome people in every-socio economic level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why? As someone who comes from an upper class, old money family I don’t really understand why that is your goal. Most of the people in that world are boring or awful.

I run my family’s private foundation and give away millions of dollars a year to charitable causes. Doing the same, or finding a way to become connected with nonprofits is probably the best way to become enmeshed in this part of society. As I said not really sure why you’d want to, but that’s the “easiest” way. Start volunteering or join some committees and get involved in order to join.

Are you in the DMV?

[Anonymous]

I’m a child of Asian immigrants as is DH. We are well educated and have a seven figure income. We live an UMC - UC lifestyle. We live in a nice neighborhood, members of a country club, vacation often, kids do well in school, have good manners, play a lot of sports - golf, ski, tennis. We own a few homes and save a lot.

It annoys me when people try to act rich. Please don’t try to act UC.

[Anonymous]

You've already achieved UMC OP. My family has been in the US for 8 generations and I'm just getting to the upper part of regular middle class after working my butt off for 40 years.

[Anonymous]

Get a friend who you go to Starbucks with in yoga pants, get dressed up and eat lunch at the mall, and go on walks in sweatpants and chit chat. Get your husband to stop playing computer games and instead go with you to wineries wearing decent clothing on occasional weekends with friends. If you are not great looking, learn how to wear makeup and get a professional haircut. Also it helps if you make money and invest it. Go on a trip and take pictures of yourselves and post it on social media. You're welcome.
(Most of this is not actually worth doing though--climbing a social ladder is a superficial aspiration and will not enhance your karma or your happiness.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you white? Just curious. And how old are you?
My naive view is that the older and less white you are the harder it is. Divorce also lowers your chances, as well as the accent.
I must say I sometimes entertain thoughts about my cute teen getting into a fancy college and meeting a homely but rich girl and becoming rich as well, but that’s just some fantasy.

Lol, I was a regular girl at a very fancy college who fantasized about meeting a rich boy and being swept away. Nope. Rich boys have plenty of pretty, rich girls to choose from. The cute, normal boy being swept away by a rich girl turned out to be the more typical scenario. Maybe yours has a chance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you white? Just curious. And how old are you?
My naive view is that the older and less white you are the harder it is. Divorce also lowers your chances, as well as the accent.
I must say I sometimes entertain thoughts about my cute teen getting into a fancy college and meeting a homely but rich girl and becoming rich as well, but that’s just some fantasy.

Lol, I was a regular girl at a very fancy college who fantasized about meeting a rich boy and being swept away. Nope. Rich boys have plenty of pretty, rich girls to choose from. The cute, normal boy being swept away by a rich girl turned out to be the more typical scenario. Maybe yours has a chance!

Haha thanks, we shall see! It all reminds me of the 19th (?) century French novels where a poor but noble young man goes to Paris to find a rich bride possibly from new money… I loved them as a teenager

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? As someone who comes from an upper class, old money family I don’t really understand why that is your goal. Most of the people in that world are boring or awful.

I run my family’s private foundation and give away millions of dollars a year to charitable causes. Doing the same, or finding a way to become connected with nonprofits is probably the best way to become enmeshed in this part of society. As I said not really sure why you’d want to, but that’s the “easiest” way. Start volunteering or join some committees and get involved in order to join.

Are you in the DMV?

Occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? As someone who comes from an upper class, old money family I don’t really understand why that is your goal. Most of the people in that world are boring or awful.

I run my family’s private foundation and give away millions of dollars a year to charitable causes. Doing the same, or finding a way to become connected with nonprofits is probably the best way to become enmeshed in this part of society. As I said not really sure why you’d want to, but that’s the “easiest” way. Start volunteering or join some committees and get involved in order to join.

Are you in the DMV?

Occasionally.

I’m Indian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a child of Asian immigrants as is DH. We are well educated and have a seven figure income. We live an UMC - UC lifestyle. We live in a nice neighborhood, members of a country club, vacation often, kids do well in school, have good manners, play a lot of sports - golf, ski, tennis. We own a few homes and save a lot.

It annoys me when people try to act rich. Please don’t try to act UC.

Pot kettle

[Anonymous]

If you aren't happy at 300k, you won't be happy as a millionaire. Contentment cannot be purchased. I feel sorry for OP's husband. He deserves better.

[Anonymous]

300k is not upper middle class. Esp in the DMV. You need to find a richer husband

[Anonymous]

Join the right 7 clubs (CC and City - I would suggest 2 DC country clubs, a national golf focused club and then a city club in DC and one in NYC). I would also buy a second home in a place like Nantucket and join two more clubs - Sankaty and Westmoor are preferable. Then, hit the charity circuit hard (focusing an 3 key charities (perhaps one medical, one social development and one animal protection related) and expect to go about 150 to 1 million deep per year.

After all that, you are in. In.

[Anonymous]

OP, you were probably not upper class in your own culture. It is hard to get the class and breeding if you are not the elite in your own culture.

Elites from other cultures who come here remain elites in the expat community and then they also have the wealth and SES in US. Since a good education is part and parcel of their DNA, they actually see marrying some WASP person a lowering of their own status.

Good advice has been given to start becoming involved with charitable foundations. Yes, your DH situation sounds like a bummer. Can he be atleast relied upon to remain by and large helpful and inoffensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why? As someone who comes from an upper class, old money family I don’t really understand why that is your goal. Most of the people in that world are boring or awful.

I run my family’s private foundation and give away millions of dollars a year to charitable causes. Doing the same, or finding a way to become connected with nonprofits is probably the best way to become enmeshed in this part of society. As I said not really sure why you’d want to, but that’s the “easiest” way. Start volunteering or join some committees and get involved in order to join.

Very good advice …