Social Climbing

[Anonymous]

Have you tried posting an add on one of those sugar daddy websites?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you were probably not upper class in your own culture. It is hard to get the class and breeding if you are not the elite in your own culture.

Elites from other cultures who come here remain elites in the expat community and then they also have the wealth and SES in US. Since a good education is part and parcel of their DNA, they actually see marrying some WASP person a lowering of their own status.

Good advice has been given to start becoming involved with charitable foundations. Yes, your DH situation sounds like a bummer. Can he be atleast relied upon to remain by and large helpful and inoffensive?

Vomit. This is so over the top, I'm going to assume you are being tongue-in-cheek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$300k IS upper middle class.

Why do people say this all the time? It's really not. It's surely not poverty. But after taxes, daycare, food, fees for every effing thing, saving for college and retirement, that does not go very far. Certainly does not allow any sort of care free spending. We are still in our small starter home 20+ years later by choice, and drive a 15 year old car, and we still get raked over the coals on a salary not dissimilar from that. There's very little left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant and I have a dream. My dream is to ascend to the American upper middle to upper class. I was recently watching The Luckiest Girl in the World on Netflix and was intrigued by the machinations of the protagonist as she tries to escape her lower middle class roots. Truly though, how does one do this in real life?

I am not super pretty but I am thin. I am generally smart. I work at a local financial services company and live in Falls Church. I am married to my white American husband but he doesn't really bring much to the table in terms of my social climbing aspirations. He went to one of the local privates and an Ivy but he is a normal low key guy who prefers to go on hikes and play video games, lol. We do OK but not great, 300k
as of recently.

What can I do to raise my social status?

You have already become UMC. What are you missing that you would like to have in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:300k is not upper middle class. Esp in the DMV. You need to find a richer husband

of course it is.

https://www.pewresearch.org/interactives/are-you-in-the-middle-class/

[Anonymous]

Agree with others that if you are looking to socialize with the rich & famous, getting involved in charity work is the easiest way. On the board/committees, not random volunteering. I'm a little fuzzy on what your goals are, though. What are you trying to achieve? It seems like you already have a comfortable UMC life.

[Anonymous]

Similar income and similar Ivy PhD husband with a solid GS-15 job, just over the FC border 1/2 mile into Arlington.

We ARE upper middle class. You ARE upper middle class. Anyone in middle America would look at our $1M 2400sq ft 1940s colonials and just see a $1M house 5 miles from DC. My friends back home in small town Ohio would look at the quality of our public schools, the types of people my kids are exposed to, the quality and range of restaurants and stores that are easily accessible to us and be jealous. I grew up where my friends parents were all teachers, skilled factory workers, plumbers, truck drivers, and small business wonders. Small business like the local carpet and tile store, not a boutique IT firm consulting on Federal contracts. The adults in my kids lives are all lawyers, lobbyists, GS15s and SES execs, journalists at nationally known publications, authors who get interviewed on the news, experts who contribute thought leadership on national policy.

What part of upper class / upper middle class life do you want that you are missing?
A big, fancy house like on HGTV? Move west to Ashburn or Leesburg.
International vacations? Private School? Prioritize your budget.
Galas, balls, and society events? Find some causes or organizations you are passionate about and volunteer and get involved.
Sending your kids to cotillion? You can do that.
Joining a country club? You can do that. But unless it benefits your career with connections and a place to entertain, I suggest the middle class NoVa networking version - join a pool and put your kids on summer swim team.
Plays, concerts, and fancy dinners? You can do that. D.C. is a quick Uber ride away.

But what is any of this for?
Are you networking to make career moves to increase earnings?
Are you positioning your kids to have peers that will also be striving for elite colleges and whose parents might serve as connections for internships and career advice?
Do you just want more interesting adult friends to talk to?

I find that so many people in the DC metro area have fascinating and impressive jobs and accomplishments that aren’t lucrative. Also a lot of smart and interesting people come to this area because they felt called to public service and if they didn’t come from family money, their life looks a lot like your current life. If you are writing off people in your current orbit, ask yourself why. If you are scheming and strategizing your friendships and your social interactions, people will see through your insincerity and you will end up worse off than if you just organically and sincerely cultivate relationships.

[Anonymous]

OP specifically mentions the lifestyle in Luckiest Girl Alive, which was clearly upper class. DCUM likes to conflate UC and UMC, because it makes the UMC seem more exclusive, even though majority of DCUM posters are UMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$300k IS upper middle class.

Why do people say this all the time? It's really not. It's surely not poverty. But after taxes, daycare, food, fees for every effing thing, saving for college and retirement, that does not go very far. Certainly does not allow any sort of care free spending. We are still in our small starter home 20+ years later by choice, and drive a 15 year old car, and we still get raked over the coals on a salary not dissimilar from that. There's very little left.

It's a UMC income. Whether or not it allows you what you consider a UMC lifestyle is a different thing, and can depend on where you live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP specifically mentions the lifestyle in Luckiest Girl Alive, which was clearly upper class. DCUM likes to conflate UC and UMC, because it makes the UMC seem more exclusive, even though majority of DCUM posters are UMC.

I find that DCUM posters with clearly UMC incomes insist that they are only middle class.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you familiar with Vanity Fair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$300k IS upper middle class.

Why do people say this all the time? It's really not. It's surely not poverty. But after taxes, daycare, food, fees for every effing thing, saving for college and retirement, that does not go very far. Certainly does not allow any sort of care free spending. We are still in our small starter home 20+ years later by choice, and drive a 15 year old car, and we still get raked over the coals on a salary not dissimilar from that. There's very little left.

Yes, it is truly 100% an UMC income. You realize that the vast majority of lower and even middle class families are not saving for college or retirement, right? That many never own a home or car? Gain a little perspective.

[Anonymous]

A very large house in a highly respected neighborhood is a prerequisite, OP.

And don’t associate anymore with little-house people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Join the right 7 clubs (CC and City - I would suggest 2 DC country clubs, a national golf focused club and then a city club in DC and one in NYC). I would also buy a second home in a place like Nantucket and join two more clubs - Sankaty and Westmoor are preferable. Then, hit the charity circuit hard (focusing an 3 key charities (perhaps one medical, one social development and one animal protection related) and expect to go about 150 to 1 million deep per year.

After all that, you are in. In.

Yeah, that's the piece people are missing about the "volunteering." It's not the time or the organization. It's the $$$. You need the money first, and show that you are willing to donate it, to be able to be asked to be on the board of the major museums, schools, charities, etc.

[Anonymous]

My friends back home in small town Ohio would look at the quality of our public schools, the types of people my kids are exposed to, the quality and range of restaurants and stores that are easily accessible to us and be jealous.

are you sure about this?