When did you know that you and your child would not have a good relationship when they became adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lordy, OP. My kids are all adults. I expected you to say you were struggling with your 20/30 year old kid. Your child is 15. You have no idea what kind of adult she will be. Two of my kids were absolutely a$$holes from 14 until about 20. They grew into mature, responsible, kind young adults.

+1
My oldest DD was a terror from ~14-20. 4 days out of 5, if I could have gotten away with killing her, I would have(not really). The 5th day, she'd be the sweet child she had been before the teen years.
She's 35 now, a kind, thoughtful, generous person and I love her to no end. And I know she feels the same about me.
It passes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lordy, OP. My kids are all adults. I expected you to say you were struggling with your 20/30 year old kid. Your child is 15. You have no idea what kind of adult she will be. Two of my kids were absolutely a$$holes from 14 until about 20. They grew into mature, responsible, kind young adults.

+1
My oldest DD was a terror from ~14-20. 4 days out of 5, if I could have gotten away with killing her, I would have(not really). The 5th day, she'd be the sweet child she had been before the teen years.
She's 35 now, a kind, thoughtful, generous person and I love her to no end. And I know she feels the same about me.
It passes.

There is hope for me then!! My 25 year old daughter. As a teenager she was angry, had outbursts, etc..we had her in counseling for a while but she stopped going. She was always good on the outside, with teachers etc. She was very very self involved but I convinced myself it was the teenage years. When she was 18 she went off to school
Things improved gradually. But I'm sad to say that she is still self involved and I believe has narcissistic tendencies. She has a lot of good qualities. But it's tough. She resents us for many reasons BC we didn't pay for privay art school at 75k a year. We told her we'd pay the state rate of a state school room and board, and she could do loans for remainder. She is bitter and angry still. She didn't do art school but went to UMD which we obviously paid for in full. I told her that she should study any major she wanted incl art. She didn't. She resents us BC she said she could have been a world famous artist if only she had gone to a fancy art school. She lives with a roommate and supports herself financially with good employment but she is bitter still. She tells us things like she was born in the wrong family and I am not an artist bohemian type mom. So I was apparently the wrong mother. Even though growing up we always had her do summer art classes etc. I'm hoping things get better. She said weve made her into a shell of a person. It hurts and is painful to hear this. I'm sure I'll get a lot of hate with people telling me we must have been bad parents. I used to think that too, if I knew say someone who said bad things about their parents. But now I'm not so sure about anything anymore. My other young adult child thinks she's delusional. I try to not say much BC I want my children to still have a relationship but my other adult child is ready to cut ties. And that will be even more heartbreaking.