My child wants to transfer out of their current school…it’s been a month. What should she do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think her college the admissions office or emailing them with her transfer questions is a very smart idea.

No, not anonymous.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who went to Muhlenberg. I'd also say that for the majority of people in my year, the first group of "Friends" made do not end up being your actual friends. I say this confidently because it's such a small school that you literally know who everyone was friends with at first and who they end up being friends with a year later. Finding a couple at least temporary friends now, even if you don't get along that well, will open you up to new social situations where you'll make your actual friends.

She can even ride that out until sophomore year when you can get into Greek life at Muhlenberg if she has any interest in that. It's far from the type of Greek scene you might imagine at a larger school, although some of the dweebs in the fraternities who you can tell weren't cool in high school will take it more seriously than they should. Definitely nothing to be intimidated of and it's an avenue to some of the only parties and events on campus. You say your daughter is the theater type so that would mean she may be excluded from the one "cool girl" sorority, but the other 2 or 3 she'd have just as good of a chance to get in as anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If transferring is her goal, I would encourage her to focus on getting good grades and finishing both semester then transferring as a sophmore. You know your kid and how unhappy she is though.

This. Most state flagships want to see top grades for a transfer. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Muhlenberg and ended up transferring after sophomore year. It's a weird place. Too small (you are going to just see the same people everywhere), very limited social options, absolutely nothing in the surrounding area.

I was an athlete so went in with an immediate social group, but I still didn't end up really finding my strongest group of friends and sense of belonging until the spring semester of that first year. So I agree with others advising to be open and give it a chance while working on transfer apps to keep options open. Overall I made some good friends who I'm still in touch with and had some really good times, but I just couldn't imagine two more years at that school and had to get out.

And that is the Catch-22 for many. Even with friends, a small school in boring / rural area is still a small school in a boring or rural area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Muhlenberg and ended up transferring after sophomore year. It's a weird place. Too small (you are going to just see the same people everywhere), very limited social options, absolutely nothing in the surrounding area.

I was an athlete so went in with an immediate social group, but I still didn't end up really finding my strongest group of friends and sense of belonging until the spring semester of that first year. So I agree with others advising to be open and give it a chance while working on transfer apps to keep options open. Overall I made some good friends who I'm still in touch with and had some really good times, but I just couldn't imagine two more years at that school and had to get out.

And that is the Catch-22 for many. Even with friends, a small school in boring / rural area is still a small school in a boring or rural area.

Rural areas are not boring to everyone. But the school does need to step up (and the kids as well) to contribute and offer activities. Kids who like having their social life revolve around the school will like this. My kid does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ditch the boyfriend

Amen! Id also bet it’s the boyfriend. She may be “at Muhlenberg” but her mind is elsewhere. Hence, new friends are not amused.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see a downside to transferring to Maryland. She’s talking about a better school and about a major that has more job opportunities. Win win. Just make sure she knows that she may not love the social vibe at Maryland either.

You seem to like the boyfriend a lot. I would not be ok with this, but even if she doesn’t get that involved in UMD social life, it would be ok. She would graduate with a good degree. And if she and the Bf break up, the university is huge and the dc area is huge, she can make her own way. No way would I make her stay at a much lower rated school for a worse major, boyfriend or not. That’s what you do when she’s trying to go from MD to Muhlenberg because of the boyfriend.