My child wants to transfer out of their current school…it’s been a month. What should she do?

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09/11/2022 15:57

Subject: My child wants to transfer out of their current school…it’s been a month. What should she do?

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Anonymous

My kid attends Muhlenberg, a small, somewhat regionally-known school. She’s been there for about a month now (classes started two weeks ago), and while she originally seemed happy at first, she now wants to leave it. She says she can’t find her people—for example, what she deemed as close friends just had some get-togethers without inviting her—and she says that most of the school is from the region, which makes it less interesting (she’s from another region).

She also says that a lot of parents constantly seem to visit her classmates. She doesn’t mind that we don’t visit, but she says that other parents make it feel weird and very “regional.” And I think she probably feels left out. She’s doing okay academically, but she definitely has a tough class or two. She also has a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend, whom she loves very much—I know that’s rather unusual for a first-year college student—and I’m sure she misses him (probably more than us, because she hasn’t really said she’s homesick. In fact, she’s glad she’s out of our hometown).

She is now discussing transferring up to our state flagship. To be honest, we are kind of letting her be? We want her to spread her wings and fly, and we think that she is doing a pretty decent job at flying solo. We are supporting whatever choice she makes. She has a large scholarship at Muhlenberg, but the in-state tuition at the flagship would be about the same price. She’s a little worried that she’s jumping ship too soon, but she doesn’t really like her school, she doesn’t really like the people, she can’t find clubs she likes—there’s not many that fit her interests, and the ones that do don’t meet often—and she’s definitely adventurous and doesn’t like staying in one place.

It is worth noting that she booked a counseling appointment for herself. We are proud of her for watching out for herself, as we are worried about depression (and yes, we will definitely step in if we have to).

She’s a little worried that applying as a spring transfer would get her rejected due to her flagship being worried about her jumping ship so soon. It is worth noting that she did get into the flagship last year, but declined admissions for Muhlenberg. She is also worried that a bad grade in a tough college course will kill her chances at admission, and she wasn’t a stellar applicant to the flagship originally—she got in with 40th percentile stats, so she is worried about getting in, too.

She is thinking of calling the flagship admissions office to ask some questions tomorrow. However, we wanted to ask this forum for advice before starting a transfer process.

Thank you.