I feel like my relationship with my kid's IEP team often become adversarial

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of these disgruntled teachers would even have jobs if it wasn't for our kids.

Not true at all. If you sent your DC to private or homeschooled, the teachers would still have jobs, and their jobs would be much easier. As rewarding? Maybe, maybe not.

With that attitude towards children with special needs, good luck on your evals this year. You sound like your Praxis scores were low.

I'm not a teacher, I'm a parent. And I'm aware of how obnoxious/disruptive/unenjoyable my DC can be. I'm grateful for the teachers who are willing and able to look past that (it hasn't the majority of them).

Some of the posts on this thread are discouraging in their animosity and aggressiveness.

Some parents have had to deal with things like a team not allowing a 1 on 1 for a child with severe autism, and not conducting an FBA when a child had behavior issues and illegally sending them home instead. As long as nobody's getting verbally abusive to school staff, it's ok to not be warm and fuzzy during an IEP meeting. I think as women, we can have complexes with this sometimes.

Most teachers are women. No, you should be respectful.

And ok, how about parents who hit their kids stomach and send them to school saying the staff did it?
The kid who told me their parents beats them with a belt at home cause they are ‘retarded’ anyway.
Parents who refuse to call their child autistic instead of saying ‘has autism?’

Don’t act like all parents are good and want the best. Some teachers are god awful but so are some parents.

Many autistics prefer being called autistic instead of “has autism”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiring an advocate has been such a huge help to us. It’s hard to feel like a full member of the “team” when you don’t know every policy and option. I also think having a third party in the room helps both sides watch their words - know it isn’t a financial option for everyone but if you can make it work it’s been a game changer. Both school and central office staff said and did some outrageous things in meetings before we had an advocate.

What is the approx cost of an advocate? An advocate and a lawyer are different right?

We pay 200$ per hour (they bill in increments for calls, emails, meetings, follow ups). It adds up, but ended up being worth it for us. The advocate has a background in education, has worked for one of the local public school systems. They work with lawyers as needed, so there is an option for that if things get to the level that a lawyer is needed.

[Anonymous]

Within DC is there a way to escalate a situation where the IEP team is blatantly disregarding procedural safeguards and IDEA?

Does anyone care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Within DC is there a way to escalate a situation where the IEP team is blatantly disregarding procedural safeguards and IDEA?

Does anyone care?

Get an advocate who knows DC.

[Anonymous]

Here's the DC yellow pages for kids. Good mix of attorneys and advocates.

https://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/dc.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of these disgruntled teachers would even have jobs if it wasn't for our kids.

Not true at all. If you sent your DC to private or homeschooled, the teachers would still have jobs, and their jobs would be much easier. As rewarding? Maybe, maybe not.

With that attitude towards children with special needs, good luck on your evals this year. You sound like your Praxis scores were low.

I'm not a teacher, I'm a parent. And I'm aware of how obnoxious/disruptive/unenjoyable my DC can be. I'm grateful for the teachers who are willing and able to look past that (it hasn't the majority of them).

Some of the posts on this thread are discouraging in their animosity and aggressiveness.

Some parents have had to deal with things like a team not allowing a 1 on 1 for a child with severe autism, and not conducting an FBA when a child had behavior issues and illegally sending them home instead. As long as nobody's getting verbally abusive to school staff, it's ok to not be warm and fuzzy during an IEP meeting. I think as women, we can have complexes with this sometimes.

Most teachers are women. No, you should be respectful.

And ok, how about parents who hit their kids stomach and send them to school saying the staff did it?
The kid who told me their parents beats them with a belt at home cause they are ‘retarded’ anyway.
Parents who refuse to call their child autistic instead of saying ‘has autism?’

Don’t act like all parents are good and want the best. Some teachers are god awful but so are some parents.

Many autistics prefer being called autistic instead of “has autism”.

Uh yes, that is why I listed parents who refuse to say autistic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're not cursing the team out or throwing furniture, you're good. Nothing wrong with applying a little pressure.

What a low standard.

This is a professional meeting, applying pressure doesn’t mean rudeness and trying to invalidate what the experts in the field are saying. Believe me, teams react just the same in private when you act passive aggressively and entitled.

I was at a meeting in FCPS and the teacher stood up and started yelling, flapping their arms, and mocking my child. The teacher kept yelling and interrupting to the point that her boss told her to stop, and she still continued.
I got an apology from the district as well as the principal. It still doesn’t fix the HELL that my kid had to put up with in that teachers class. She decided she didn’t have to accommodate a 504 and just didn’t care.

I’m sorry this happened to you. As a teacher, I’d never yell at a parent. I know you are trying to do what you think is best for your kid. I was talking about parent disrespect but for sure there are some horrible teachers out there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of these disgruntled teachers would even have jobs if it wasn't for our kids.

Not true at all. If you sent your DC to private or homeschooled, the teachers would still have jobs, and their jobs would be much easier. As rewarding? Maybe, maybe not.

With that attitude towards children with special needs, good luck on your evals this year. You sound like your Praxis scores were low.

I'm not a teacher, I'm a parent. And I'm aware of how obnoxious/disruptive/unenjoyable my DC can be. I'm grateful for the teachers who are willing and able to look past that (it hasn't the majority of them).

Some of the posts on this thread are discouraging in their animosity and aggressiveness.

Some parents have had to deal with things like a team not allowing a 1 on 1 for a child with severe autism, and not conducting an FBA when a child had behavior issues and illegally sending them home instead. As long as nobody's getting verbally abusive to school staff, it's ok to not be warm and fuzzy during an IEP meeting. I think as women, we can have complexes with this sometimes.

Most teachers are women. No, you should be respectful.

And ok, how about parents who hit their kids stomach and send them to school saying the staff did it?
The kid who told me their parents beats them with a belt at home cause they are ‘retarded’ anyway.
Parents who refuse to call their child autistic instead of saying ‘has autism?’

Don’t act like all parents are good and want the best. Some teachers are god awful but so are some parents.

Many autistics prefer being called autistic instead of “has autism”.

So wait. Parents who say their kid “has autism” are equivalent to parents who punch their kid or beat them with a belt? Are you serious?