Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell your teacher those aren’t the rules you follow at your house. And that it was just bananas FFS.

My house, my rules, right? Preschool teacher feels the same way. It's not your house. It's preschool. A HUGE part of preschool is learning how to follow rules and be part of the group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell your teacher those aren’t the rules you follow at your house. And that it was just bananas FFS.

My house, my rules, right? Preschool teacher feels the same way. It's not your house. It's preschool. A HUGE part of preschool is learning how to follow rules and be part of the group.

+1

That's the entire point of preschool. If you want daycare, then choose daycare.

[Anonymous]

The teacher could've addressed this in a more gentle manner especially since it was the 1st day of school and this "rule" is obviously unfamiliar and a hard habit for young kids to adjust to.

Did the teacher pre-emptively announce to eat sandwich and fruit first? Or give friendly reminders to save dessert for last?

How about allowing the 1st day of school to be a grace period, but starting tomorrow to definitely save dessert for last.

Fwiw, I prefer my kids to eat dessert 2nd or 3rd (before veggies). Eating the veggies and apples after the sweet stuff helps clean out the teeth/molars that have all the chips/cookies/gummy snacks embedded. And it's a rinse of other food particles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

Yes this is one reason why I would address it. Teaching dessert should be last as some kind of reward is actually the exact opposite of what evidence based research shows is best for children to develop healthy eating habits.

I disagree that it adds to the burden of the teacher - less policing = less burden.

People eat dessert last out of custom and because dessert can be savored when most of the appetite is full from the main course. Do you go out to a restaurant with friends and order cake before your pasta?

Irrelevant to this situation. (Actually I have in the past ordered dessert and then ordered a main dish - NBD - i'm the customer and can eat how I like. If I were a guest at someone's home, though, I would just eat the food as they serve. Neither of these situations are relevant to preschool.)

the oat-banana things were part of the meal - I bet they were less sweet than some of the dishes that get regularly served as a meal. just explain to the teacher that NOTHING you provide should be considered dessert and everything can be eaten in whatever your daughter likes.

My kid is a big eater and she was coming home hungry and overtired and a quick discussion with her teachers let me to include extra pouches she could eat along with the daycare snack. Problem solved. Most teachers don't mind working with parents on reasonable requests especially if a tiny change means fewer meltdowns and a less crabby child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher could've addressed this in a more gentle manner especially since it was the 1st day of school and this "rule" is obviously unfamiliar and a hard habit for young kids to adjust to.

Did the teacher pre-emptively announce to eat sandwich and fruit first? Or give friendly reminders to save dessert for last?

How about allowing the 1st day of school to be a grace period, but starting tomorrow to definitely save dessert for last.

Fwiw, I prefer my kids to eat dessert 2nd or 3rd (before veggies). Eating the veggies and apples after the sweet stuff helps clean out the teeth/molars that have all the chips/cookies/gummy snacks embedded. And it's a rinse of other food particles.

It's best to set the rules on the first day. Start as you mean to go on.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

In a strange turn of events apparently several other parents addressed it so the teacher sent an email to all the parents regarding classroom policy for eating.

[Anonymous]

I’m laid back. I wouldn’t want the teacher to do this to my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

In a strange turn of events apparently several other parents addressed it so the teacher sent an email to all the parents regarding classroom policy for eating.

That poor teacher. What a thankless job, being a preschool teacher for you all.

[Anonymous]

The teacher's a nightmare. You can say something if you want, OP.

My kids are now teens, and we've had our share of stupid teachers. Heck, *I* recall one of my teachers at boarding school forcing us to eat mutton fat in the stew because "it was good for us". We hated being with this teacher during meals; the others let us leave whatever we didn't like on our plates.

Just prepare yourself mentally: some teachers are going to be stellar and worth their weight in gold. Some... not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

Yes this is one reason why I would address it. Teaching dessert should be last as some kind of reward is actually the exact opposite of what evidence based research shows is best for children to develop healthy eating habits.

I disagree that it adds to the burden of the teacher - less policing = less burden.

People eat dessert last out of custom and because dessert can be savored when most of the appetite is full from the main course. Do you go out to a restaurant with friends and order cake before your pasta?

Irrelevant to this situation. (Actually I have in the past ordered dessert and then ordered a main dish - NBD - i'm the customer and can eat how I like. If I were a guest at someone's home, though, I would just eat the food as they serve. Neither of these situations are relevant to preschool.)

the oat-banana things were part of the meal - I bet they were less sweet than some of the dishes that get regularly served as a meal. just explain to the teacher that NOTHING you provide should be considered dessert and everything can be eaten in whatever your daughter likes.

My kid is a big eater and she was coming home hungry and overtired and a quick discussion with her teachers let me to include extra pouches she could eat along with the daycare snack. Problem solved. Most teachers don't mind working with parents on reasonable requests especially if a tiny change means fewer meltdowns and a less crabby child.

She probably came home crabby and overtired because it was the first day of preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

In a strange turn of events apparently several other parents addressed it so the teacher sent an email to all the parents regarding classroom policy for eating.

That poor teacher. What a thankless job, being a preschool teacher for you all.

No just an uneducated teacher. Most preschool teachers do not have a degree in early childhood nutrition.

You can decide with the other parents whether to advocate for healthier policies at the school or just work around it by not including obvious dessert like foods so your kid can eat in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

In a strange turn of events apparently several other parents addressed it so the teacher sent an email to all the parents regarding classroom policy for eating.

That poor teacher. What a thankless job, being a preschool teacher for you all.

No just an uneducated teacher. Most preschool teachers do not have a degree in early childhood nutrition.

You can decide with the other parents whether to advocate for healthier policies at the school or just work around it by not including obvious dessert like foods so your kid can eat in peace.

I'll add that this is something I would absolutely discuss because of it's health implications. I have done that with school policies for my kid and worked out a compromise that serves the schools rules and what is best for the health of my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

Um, no. For most people, it's a matter of making sure they don't get full eating dessert and then don't want to eat the actual meal.

If you want the teacher to "stay in her lane" then keep your snowflake at home. Her job is to be in that lane.

If dessert is enough to make you miss a full meal then your dessert is too big. A 100-150 calorie dessert should not make you miss your meal. A 700 slice of cheesecake- sure. Second, they were "cookies". 1 Milano that I pack in my kids lunch or a 72% mini chocolate piece are 70 and 28 calories, respectively. The latter has almost 2% of DV Potassium for an adult and 1g of protein. Eating those wont ruin lunch.

[Anonymous]

My kids teachers have always nudged the kids towards their "growing food" first. And I appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.