Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

Maybe not but it still would.

Teachers are under enough strain as it is.

Well, then I have been “that mother” every time I talk to a teacher about giving my big eater all her food, and— so far as I know— all my daughters teachers have been very pleased to have her in class. I would rather be “that mother” than have a hungry upset four year old for no reason.

[Anonymous]

I was a para for many years and teachers weren't even around when the kids at their lunch. It might be different for preschool. Some teachers are quite opinionated on everything and I guess it's time for your little one to learn that and how to deal with it. What the teacher is suggesting is not crazy, you and your daughter ought to strategize how she can eat her lunch and be happy and yet keep the teacher happy too.

[Anonymous]

Simple answer - say something. Teacher can't read your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk if this is worth a discussion with the teacher. Yesterday was my DD's first day of preschool (4yo). I packed her a sandwich, yogurt, berries, and oatmeal/banana "cookies" that I made. She ate her sandwich first and then said she went to eat the cookies and she said the teacher stopped her and told her she can't have the cookies until the rest of her lunch is eaten. DD started crying and the teacher explained that we have to eat the healthy food before the treats. By the time DD calmed down, she ate the berries and then the teacher said lunch time was over and she had to pack up the rest of her lunch to take home. She did come home with the yogurt and cookies in her lunch bag.

My DD is 99% for height and a huge eater. What I packed is a typical lunch for her and the sandwich and berries alone definitely wouldn't have been enough for a 7:45am-2:45pm school day. I don't want to be a crazy parent, but should I address this with the teacher? We are of the camp that we provide our kids with balanced meals and they choose which and how much to eat. I'm fairly certain DD would have eaten everything in the order of sandwich, cookies, then mixing the berries in the yogurt. I also don't like that the teacher called the cookies unhealthy. They were bananas mashed and baked with oats and cinnamon. We don't really discern good vs bad food in our house because we don't have many sweets anyway so when we do, we don't make it a big deal.

Thoughts?

ABSOLUTELY SAY SOMETHING. She is a teacher not a dietician. f& her

Speaking of nightmares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.

The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

In a strange turn of events apparently several other parents addressed it so the teacher sent an email to all the parents regarding classroom policy for eating.

So what IS the policy?

Also that is a very long school day for a 4 year old unless its also daycare. Is she in the "school" part that whole time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell the teacher I’m the parent and whatever I send in my child’s lunch my child Can eat in any order they want. If I hear about it again they’ll hear from my lawyer for denying lunch to my child.

And we wonder why we are losing good teachers!!!

[Anonymous]

Ok, so here’s the thing. If the teacher lets your DC eat “dessert” first (forget for a minute whether it’s actually sweets, the point is it looks like a cookie), then she’ll be stuck with a bunch of other kids whining that they want to eat dessert first. And if she lets them, half of those kids will eat their dessert and stop there. And now she has 8 sets of parents on her case, vs just you. Preschool teachers need to keep rules simple and consistent, even if they may not be perfect for every individual child.

You can teach DC that the school rules are such that this container gets eaten after everything else. Or you can shape the banana/oatmeal things in bars and label them something very non-desserty so that the teacher won’t confuse them with cookies. But please don’t set your teacher up by asking for a special exception so that the rest of the class has to watch your kid getting special allowances.

Btw, my approach to food at home is similar to yours. I’d have no problem with my kids eating the cookies first. But I also have no problem expecting them to follow the norm in a group setting. My kids are teens now and haven’t suffered for it.

[Anonymous]

My daycare doesn’t police the order of foods but doesn’t allow
Cookies, gummies or chips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.

The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.

Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.

[Anonymous]

Make it a different shape and label it baked oatmeal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.

The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.

Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.

Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.

The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.

Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.

Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.

Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.

The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.

Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.

Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.

Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.

My goodness. So many parents who don't want to support and back up the teacher.

Take a step back. What should your DC be learning in preschool? How to follow another adult's rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

We are going to far with what we consider toddlers. A 4 year old is not a toddler. They are a preschooler.

The DCUM age-policing is always very fun. It’s not relevant though because I wouldn’t want a teacher mistakenly policing my infant, toddler, preschooler, elementary, middle, high school or college age student. I think the teacher made an honest mistake that the cookies were a “snack” and the four year old is not able to correct her. The parent should do so, once, and that should be the end of the issue. The teachers I know are not such fragile creatures that they wouldn’t understand “hey this is not actually a snack it’s part of her lunch” without strain.

Parents shouldn't be such fragile creatures, either. The teacher told her precious snowflake to eat cookies last. GASP.

Seriously. Save your comments for when it really matters. And stop packing sugary treats in their lunches for goodness sake! Save it for after school snack or dinner. This could be a complete non issue if parents actually packed real food and not junk in their kids' lunches.

Something baked and shaped round is not “a sugary treat” unless a teacher doesn’t know the difference. Which it sounds like this one doesn’t. This isn’t about parental fragility, it’s about not letting a 4 y/o go without most of her lunch because a teacher didn’t understand what was in the lunchbox.

If a child calls it a cookie, it’s reasonable to assume it is sugary.