Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a preschool teacher like that. At first it rankles with me but then I let it go. Kid ate the sweet part of lunch last. No big deal. This teacher also taught them to say “may I please…” and other manners. Not sure of the age of your teacher but mine was older and a bit old fashioned.

Are you saying "May I please..." is old fashioned? I'm in my mid 30's and we taught our kids to say that when they want something.

[Anonymous]

My daughter’s kindergarten teacher did this as well. She was very slim and some of the stuff she said crossed the line into disordered eating. I probably would have pushed back with an older girl who doesn’t need a bunch of tips and tricks on how to get herself to eat as few calories as possible. But I thought my kindergartner learned some good habits (like eating vegetables first and dessert last, and spending some portion of her mealtime thinking about what she was eating and what it tasted like).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a preschool teacher like that. At first it rankles with me but then I let it go. Kid ate the sweet part of lunch last. No big deal. This teacher also taught them to say “may I please…” and other manners. Not sure of the age of your teacher but mine was older and a bit old fashioned.

Are you saying "May I please..." is old fashioned? I'm in my mid 30's and we taught our kids to say that when they want something.

It is. Most parents today don’t insist on the may/can distinction. I am 38 and only had one adult in my life insist on it (a playground monitor in ES).

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what you’ve been told but the teacher is the boss and you should be scold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a preschool teacher like that. At first it rankles with me but then I let it go. Kid ate the sweet part of lunch last. No big deal. This teacher also taught them to say “may I please…” and other manners. Not sure of the age of your teacher but mine was older and a bit old fashioned.

Are you saying "May I please..." is old fashioned? I'm in my mid 30's and we taught our kids to say that when they want something.

It is. Most parents today don’t insist on the may/can distinction. I am 38 and only had one adult in my life insist on it (a playground monitor in ES).

Just because most people don't use correct grammer, doesn't mean that I won't teach it to my child. (Actually I correct myself in front of my child when I use can incorrectly. )

[Anonymous]

Absolutely address it. Your daughter can eat the food you send however she wants. The teacher is not the nutrition police. Nip that in the bud now. No child should be forced to eat or prevented from eating something their parent chose for them.

My son’s preschool ate family style and the teachers would put the “dessert” on the table and not let the kids have it until they ate veggies. Sometimes it was melon or berries, but 1-2 times a week it was a cookie or pudding. We do not use food as a reward or punishment at our house and we don’t make kids eat anything they don’t want to. Either put out the food and let kids eat what they want - or don’t put out the food at all. I talked to the director and it stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk if this is worth a discussion with the teacher. Yesterday was my DD's first day of preschool (4yo). I packed her a sandwich, yogurt, berries, and oatmeal/banana "cookies" that I made. She ate her sandwich first and then said she went to eat the cookies and she said the teacher stopped her and told her she can't have the cookies until the rest of her lunch is eaten. DD started crying and the teacher explained that we have to eat the healthy food before the treats. By the time DD calmed down, she ate the berries and then the teacher said lunch time was over and she had to pack up the rest of her lunch to take home. She did come home with the yogurt and cookies in her lunch bag.

My DD is 99% for height and a huge eater. What I packed is a typical lunch for her and the sandwich and berries alone definitely wouldn't have been enough for a 7:45am-2:45pm school day. I don't want to be a crazy parent, but should I address this with the teacher? We are of the camp that we provide our kids with balanced meals and they choose which and how much to eat. I'm fairly certain DD would have eaten everything in the order of sandwich, cookies, then mixing the berries in the yogurt. I also don't like that the teacher called the cookies unhealthy. They were bananas mashed and baked with oats and cinnamon. We don't really discern good vs bad food in our house because we don't have many sweets anyway so when we do, we don't make it a big deal.

Thoughts?

Thoughts? are your initials DP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk if this is worth a discussion with the teacher. Yesterday was my DD's first day of preschool (4yo). I packed her a sandwich, yogurt, berries, and oatmeal/banana "cookies" that I made. She ate her sandwich first and then said she went to eat the cookies and she said the teacher stopped her and told her she can't have the cookies until the rest of her lunch is eaten. DD started crying and the teacher explained that we have to eat the healthy food before the treats. By the time DD calmed down, she ate the berries and then the teacher said lunch time was over and she had to pack up the rest of her lunch to take home. She did come home with the yogurt and cookies in her lunch bag.

My DD is 99% for height and a huge eater. What I packed is a typical lunch for her and the sandwich and berries alone definitely wouldn't have been enough for a 7:45am-2:45pm school day. I don't want to be a crazy parent, but should I address this with the teacher? We are of the camp that we provide our kids with balanced meals and they choose which and how much to eat. I'm fairly certain DD would have eaten everything in the order of sandwich, cookies, then mixing the berries in the yogurt. I also don't like that the teacher called the cookies unhealthy. They were bananas mashed and baked with oats and cinnamon. We don't really discern good vs bad food in our house because we don't have many sweets anyway so when we do, we don't make it a big deal.

Thoughts?

Thoughts? are your initials DP?

Nope, but does that mean this happened to someone else this week too?

[Anonymous]

I would let the teacher do her thing and I wouldn't mention it. Your child will adapt and will eat her "healthy" food first when she's there. School rules are different from home rules in many aspects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a preschool teacher like that. At first it rankles with me but then I let it go. Kid ate the sweet part of lunch last. No big deal. This teacher also taught them to say “may I please…” and other manners. Not sure of the age of your teacher but mine was older and a bit old fashioned.

Are you saying "May I please..." is old fashioned? I'm in my mid 30's and we taught our kids to say that when they want something.

It is. Most parents today don’t insist on the may/can distinction. I am 38 and only had one adult in my life insist on it (a playground monitor in ES).

People may not correct you or your kid in person but they absolutely notice and hold it against you. You have not been on DCUM long.

[Anonymous]

OMG, OP. If you are this high maintenance now, just wait until you are presented with a real problem at school. It isn't a bad thing for you child to learn to eat her proverbial vegetables before dessert. Cool your jets on this one. These are the small potatoes, truly.

[Anonymous]

It’s probably best that your child learns to adapt. Most likely teachers and other adults in her life will be encouraging her to eat her healthy food first. Also, most cookies aren’t healthy, so it’s natural for a teacher to assume it’s a treat. Don’t be that Mom. No one is harming your child. Instruct your child to respect her teacher’s rules.

[Anonymous]

I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

I’d tell the teacher I’m the parent and whatever I send in my child’s lunch my child Can eat in any order they want. If I hear about it again they’ll hear from my lawyer for denying lunch to my child.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell my child that the teacher sets the rules in the classroom and her job is to learn to follow the classroom rules, even if we do things differently at home.