Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a big deal at all that the teacher asked your daughter to save her cookies for last. That's standard advice for kids eating lunch at school. Many kids bring junk in their lunches (chips, cookies, candy, etc.) and teachers don't want that to be the only thing or the main thing the kids eat all day. Not to say your homemade cookies were unhealthy and teacher shouldn't comment that they are but they were likely the least healthy thing in the lunch so it makes sense the teacher wants your kid to prioritize eating the other foods first.

However, not eating enough lunch and coming home with it only half eaten is a problem if it means your daughter is hungry at school and coming home hungry every day. So try to work w/ your daughter on eating in a timely way at school and if that doesn't work, talk to her teacher to see if there's anything they could do to help make sure she gets enough to eat at school.

How long do they have to eat? At our kids' school they have 30 minutes for lunch and I think that's fairly standard. 30 minutes should be enough time for most kids to eat all the things in a lunch like the one you packed.

[Anonymous]

Typical. Don’t send cookies, even if they are healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And people wonder why we are having a teacher shortage.

Was about to post exactly this. How many in this thread alone are ready up bring out the lawyer over preschool lunch time?

[Anonymous]

Not sure why the daughter being a good eater matters. If she is, then she'll eat whatever is in the box, and you have even less reason to worry. I'd be more concerned if my kid wasn't eating well, my main concern would them just eating something and being fed, not the order. Preschool teachers are just trying to help the kids learn to make good deacons and eating dessert last is a good decision, fill up on the other things first. This is a molehill.

[Anonymous]

It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

[Anonymous]

Remember that other people are sending on Oreos and not mashed up bananas and oats. Kids can’t tell the difference at 5. The teacher has to deal with all of the kids who ate cookies instead of sandwiches and yogurt.

This will be a non-issue in a week. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

This happened to us too, around that age. My daughter was worried that she'd done something wrong. We told her that it's ok, and she's allowed to eat anything we pack for her, but it might be easier to do what the teacher says, in the classroom. A 4-5 yo can understand that pretty well, and move on.

I did not say anything to the teacher, figured it wasn't worth it. If it had felt like more of "shaming" than I would have spoken up.

There's a super short window where this is an issue, in the grand scheme of things, so I wouldn't worry too much just yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

Yes this is one reason why I would address it. Teaching desert should be last as some kind of reward is actually the exact opposite of what evidence based research shows is best for children to develop healthy eating habits.

I disagree that it adds to the burden of the teacher - less policing = less burden.

[Anonymous]

I’d tell your teacher those aren’t the rules you follow at your house. And that it was just bananas FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

Um, no. For most people, it's a matter of making sure they don't get full eating dessert and then don't want to eat the actual meal.

If you want the teacher to "stay in her lane" then keep your snowflake at home. Her job is to be in that lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell your teacher those aren’t the rules you follow at your house. And that it was just bananas FFS.

This didn’t take place in OP’s house and that’s the whole point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s also setting an example to the other children at the table, the importance of eating healthy first & desert last. Children watch and learn from each other and the teacher is considering the whole classroom is her direction.

Except this is the exact opposite of what children should learn. It is teaching that the other food is less rewarding and delicious, and the cookie is the "reward" for getting through the bad stuff.

This is what happens when teachers don't stay in their lane. Tell her you've consulted with a dietician and you do not want her policing any amount or order in which your child eats her lunch. Less work for her, and less harmful to everyone.

Yes this is one reason why I would address it. Teaching desert should be last as some kind of reward is actually the exact opposite of what evidence based research shows is best for children to develop healthy eating habits.

I disagree that it adds to the burden of the teacher - less policing = less burden.

People eat dessert last out of custom and because dessert can be savored when most of the appetite is full from the main course. Do you go out to a restaurant with friends and order cake before your pasta?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a big eater too, we had to explain to her teacher in each successive classroom— yes, offer her everything we’ve sent at every meal. And each successive class gave me one day of pushback, then laughed with me for the rest of the session about how much my kid packs away. They leave a note when they have a sub that, really, this kid is going to eat all of that.

For people with children with smaller appetites— you know how your kid gets hangry and more prone to meltdowns? This is what will happen to OPs kid if she’s policed and upset and doesn’t get to eat her whole lunch. It’s in everyone’s interest to avoid that.

But the teacher didn't tell her she couldn't eat her whole lunch. She just asked her to eat it in a different order.

She didn’t ask— she told her she couldn’t eat in the way she wanted. I absolutely see the teachers point if she doesn’t understand the cookies aren’t junk food, but upsetting a hungry toddler and then her missing the bulk of her lunch isn’t good either. A brief chat with the teacher in which OP explains that anything in her daughter’s lunchbox is fair game should not mark her out as “that mother” to a teacher with experience.

Maybe not but it still would.

Teachers are under enough strain as it is.