why don't more SAHMs become nannies when kids are in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather dog sit than watch someone else’s kids and deal with parents.

👍

[Anonymous]

Didn't the Freakonomics guy basically start the field of behavioral economics when he realized he would mow his own lawn to save $25 but he would never mow his neighbor's lawn if the neighbor offered to pay him $25. I assume it's the same thing. Some jobs just seem beneath some people, even if it's not at all rational

[Anonymous]

Most SAHMs don't need the money. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sahm doesn't qualify you as a nanny.

People like nannies with early childhood degrees and the like. I don't have that.
Plus, I'm old. My 50 yr old hips and back can no longer chase a toddler around and I have little energy/desire to change gross diapers or deal with potty training to boot.
And I only like my own kids.

Here is your answers - SAHMs don't like to work. That was the whole point of SAHM.

Here's your answer-being a mom and nanny are not respected jobs. The whole point of being a SAHM is to raise a tiny human to be a productive, loving caring adult human. To be there for their children because they love them! This is not a dig at moms or dads who have to work but, pp is really insulting with "the whole point of SAHM is not to work" YOU ARE WORKING BUT NOT GETTING RESPECT OR PAY.

This is the reason I wouldn't want to nanny because of people LIKE YOU pp

I respected my nannies very much. Did you respect the women who raised your children while you were working out and lunching with your SAHMs girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I know there are a lot of reasons why NOT to be a nanny, b/c it is effin hard work. However, I see that a lot of SAHM families feel the financial crunch/sacrifice, and worry about paying for college, even moreso than duel income families logically. Becoming a nanny is a lot easier than getting your old job in corporate America back. A well-educated nanny could make 60-70K a year. After taxes, that's I dunno, 45-55K that could pay for multiple kids' in-state college expenses, or go a long way towards a year of private for one kid. Plus you get to snuggle with small kids. It's hard work, but basically the SAHM experience + getting paid for it during a time where your household could really use the cash.

I don't see a lot of SAHM or SAHD having trouble getting back into the work field; certainly not getting back to a job that pays $65,000.

If someone stayed out of the working world for their children's entire 18 years home? Maybe it would be harder. But even then, such parents usually got used to a ton of autonomy and flexibility, and taking on the job of a nanny would not give them either of those things.

Finally, a nanny position is a domestic servant which is not a high status job; I don't think most parents who were able to SAH for 18+ years would be interested in this.

[Anonymous]

If a SAHM became a nanny, won't she be another low paid WOHM that helps medium to high paid WOHMs to lean in?

LOL.

What OP is asking for is a supply of low paid WOHMs who can work for her as a nanny, cleaner, cook, tutor, physical therapist etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I know there are a lot of reasons why NOT to be a nanny, b/c it is effin hard work. However, I see that a lot of SAHM families feel the financial crunch/sacrifice, and worry about paying for college, even moreso than duel income families logically. Becoming a nanny is a lot easier than getting your old job in corporate America back. A well-educated nanny could make 60-70K a year. After taxes, that's I dunno, 45-55K that could pay for multiple kids' in-state college expenses, or go a long way towards a year of private for one kid. Plus you get to snuggle with small kids. It's hard work, but basically the SAHM experience + getting paid for it during a time where your household could really use the cash.

I usually hear of dual income families feeling the financial crunch. That is the reason that the wife started working in the first place. + usually the husband is a low earner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The SAHM I know who are complaining about finances are MC to UMC women and would not want to have a peer as their boss.

I think it's partly this and that it runs the other direction too. When I was a SAHM to a baby/toddler, I had the bright idea to see if I could become a nanny (full or part time) to a family with a similar age child. It seemed like a no-brainer since I was already taking care of a child and my house was set up for it. Like a nanny share but I'm the nanny. It was harder than I expected. I think some people worried I would neglect their kid in favor of my own (I wouldn't, but I get why you'd worry about this if you'd never met me before) but I also think there was some awkwardness around hiring someone so similar to themselves. I was a highly educated, white collar professional who'd had a 20 year career and was working at a fairly high level before deciding to have a baby and step back. I think people were incredulous that I'd do that, and especially that I would then consider taking on "domestic work".

I nannied in high school and college to get through school and have always been good with little kids. I actually really like the rhythm of that kind of work -- needs are all mostly immediate, you can be creative in how you play with the children, there is just a vibe that is simultaneously very peaceful and productive. I had originally planned to return to work after having my baby but during my maternity leave I fell into those familiar old rhythms and was just like "no, this is better."

In any case, I wound up taking on a few babysitting jobs here and there, but never found a family I clicked with to do longer term nannying work. I'd consider trying again when my child is older (I now work part-time as a freelancer in my old industry), but I think most families who are hiring nannies prefer to hire someone who is less like themselves. I think a MC or UMC white lady who chooses domestic work will always seem a little bit suspect to those who don't. It gets drilled into a lot of women from a young age that domestic work is less than and that success lies in working out of the home like their fathers did. A lot of women my age had SAHMs as kids and there is a not-well-concealed disdain for many of those moms.

A lot of our childcare problems could be resolved if we could find a way to value childcare and domestic work on the same level as other paid work. It's something we really struggle with, culturally, and it's not just childcare workers who suffer for it (though they do). It's also pretty much all mothers, families who struggle to find quality care, employers who lose workers or whose workers have lower quality of life and morale because of the challenges of being a working parent. If we just accepted that caring for children is worthwhile, productive, economic work, instead of pretending it's some labor of love that should only be done out of the goodness of your hear, we could figure out common sense solutions.

This is so true. OP, would you want your nanny (former SAHM) to be as or more educated and affluent than you? Most DCUM SAHMs are college educated and worked in white collar jobs as well paid professionals. Most of them have high earning DHs as well as their own money (passive income, side gigs, savings, trustfunds) - would you want them to come to your home to become nanny for your kids? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sahm doesn't qualify you as a nanny.

People like nannies with early childhood degrees and the like. I don't have that.
Plus, I'm old. My 50 yr old hips and back can no longer chase a toddler around and I have little energy/desire to change gross diapers or deal with potty training to boot.
And I only like my own kids.

Here is your answers - SAHMs don't like to work. That was the whole point of SAHM.

Here's your answer-being a mom and nanny are not respected jobs. The whole point of being a SAHM is to raise a tiny human to be a productive, loving caring adult human. To be there for their children because they love them! This is not a dig at moms or dads who have to work but, pp is really insulting with "the whole point of SAHM is not to work" YOU ARE WORKING BUT NOT GETTING RESPECT OR PAY.

This is the reason I wouldn't want to nanny because of people LIKE YOU pp

I respected my nannies very much. Did you respect the women who raised your children while you were working out and lunching with your SAHMs girlfriends?

It is the power imbalance that you like. When your nannies worked for you, you were superior to them because you were their boss and probably were richer than them. The SAHM who has the money, time, energy and resources to arrange for childcare or preschool so that she can work out or go to lunch with her girlfriends - she has probably more money than you to have a leisurely lifestyle. How can you respect them? You will only be jealous of them and resent their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I know there are a lot of reasons why NOT to be a nanny, b/c it is effin hard work. However, I see that a lot of SAHM families feel the financial crunch/sacrifice, and worry about paying for college, even moreso than duel income families logically. Becoming a nanny is a lot easier than getting your old job in corporate America back. A well-educated nanny could make 60-70K a year. After taxes, that's I dunno, 45-55K that could pay for multiple kids' in-state college expenses, or go a long way towards a year of private for one kid. Plus you get to snuggle with small kids. It's hard work, but basically the SAHM experience + getting paid for it during a time where your household could really use the cash.

I don't see a lot of SAHM or SAHD having trouble getting back into the work field; certainly not getting back to a job that pays $65,000.

If someone stayed out of the working world for their children's entire 18 years home? Maybe it would be harder. But even then, such parents usually got used to a ton of autonomy and flexibility, and taking on the job of a nanny would not give them either of those things.

Finally, a nanny position is a domestic servant which is not a high status job; I don't think most parents who were able to SAH for 18+ years would be interested in this.

+ 1

The first premise on which OP based her suggestion was that there was a financial need for the SAH parent to work in a low paying domestic job. This is incorrect in DMV area. The COL is so high here that only well to do parents can afford to SAH here for 18+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I know there are a lot of reasons why NOT to be a nanny, b/c it is effin hard work. However, I see that a lot of SAHM families feel the financial crunch/sacrifice, and worry about paying for college, even moreso than duel income families logically. Becoming a nanny is a lot easier than getting your old job in corporate America back. A well-educated nanny could make 60-70K a year. After taxes, that's I dunno, 45-55K that could pay for multiple kids' in-state college expenses, or go a long way towards a year of private for one kid. Plus you get to snuggle with small kids. It's hard work, but basically the SAHM experience + getting paid for it during a time where your household could really use the cash.

You could have a dual income family barely making more than 150K, and a single income family easily making 400K+

[Anonymous]

Why become a nanny when I can provide piano lessons for $125/hr? I am in my 50's and I have a long waiting list of students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting b/c it basically shows that the privilege of being UMC is that a job isn't something just to make money, it's an identity and many people have a sense of what makes sense or doesn't make sense for them. Looking back I feel a little bummed b/c I got into top private colleges but my mom was a SAHM. Could she probably have funded it if she had done something like nannying? Not all domestic work is minimum wage, although a lot of it is. I think the thought never occurred to her (she did things like work at a preschool and as a cashier, which made beans) and we didn't live in a place with a high demand for nannies. Today though, I hope I would do something like that to open doors for my child if I couldn't re-enter the world of white collar work. Bottom line is that UMC and some MC people have choices, even when they think they don't.

You are entitled. I hope my kids appreciate my sacrifice as their SAHM, and don’t grow up to be a selfish as you.

Um, your kids didn’t ask you to sacrifice anything, it was a choice you and your spouse made. Kids do not need to be “grateful”.

Maybe not grateful but, at least not not be UNgrateful. Parents are human too and kids even adult children forget that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older SAHMs with kids in high school are generally fairly affluent. Most of my mom friends that needed income went back to work at least part-time well before age 50.

People also tend to make assumptions about college that aren't always correct. When making small talk the cost of college often comes up if you have older kids. I'll agree with people that it is expensive but the real details, that we have it fully funded years ago due to family money, I can't really say to anyone.

The other factor keeping me from a full-time job with no flexibility is elder care. Just as my kids are going off to college my in-laws and parents needed more help.

True. We are financially conservative. I stayed home only after making sure that we will be ok for college and retirement.

[Anonymous]

Because I plan to travel.