If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?

[Anonymous]

Neutral here. Age 60. Stayed home after a 10 year career. When working, occasionally made more $ than DH. I've watched DC's friends grow up with two full time working parents and they are fine. I can't tell that there is any difference in outcome. I have no regrets in my choice. That may be a personality thing though as I seldom experience regret.

[Anonymous]

I love having an easy job and will keep it even when the kids are older. Could care less about career, work is just to get paid and that's it. While I use the flexibility now for stuff with the kids when I get older I will use it for stuff for myself like going for walks or working out during the day or reading interesting articles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.

Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?

The latter. You guys already have more money than you can actually need, so keep the flexibility and sanity.

So true. We are similar HHI ~700k split almost equally between us (DH slightly more). I WFH and love the extra time with the kids. I was forced to take this position in a company reorganization and wasn't sure its what I wanted. Sometimes you don't know what you want until it's thrust upon you. I'm so glad I got this role. I also have all the health insurance, but DH can get it through his work if need be. I work about 4-6hrs per day 4 days a week "full time".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.

Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?

The latter. You guys already have more money than you can actually need, so keep the flexibility and sanity.

So true. We are similar HHI ~700k split almost equally between us (DH slightly more). I WFH and love the extra time with the kids. I was forced to take this position in a company reorganization and wasn't sure its what I wanted. Sometimes you don't know what you want until it's thrust upon you. I'm so glad I got this role. I also have all the health insurance, but DH can get it through his work if need be. I work about 4-6hrs per day 4 days a week "full time".

FFS. “Mommy tracked” at $350k. Read the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.

Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?

The latter. You guys already have more money than you can actually need, so keep the flexibility and sanity.

So true. We are similar HHI ~700k split almost equally between us (DH slightly more). I WFH and love the extra time with the kids. I was forced to take this position in a company reorganization and wasn't sure its what I wanted. Sometimes you don't know what you want until it's thrust upon you. I'm so glad I got this role. I also have all the health insurance, but DH can get it through his work if need be. I work about 4-6hrs per day 4 days a week "full time".

What do you do that is so valuable to be paid nearly $400/hr?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.

Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?

The latter. You guys already have more money than you can actually need, so keep the flexibility and sanity.

So true. We are similar HHI ~700k split almost equally between us (DH slightly more). I WFH and love the extra time with the kids. I was forced to take this position in a company reorganization and wasn't sure its what I wanted. Sometimes you don't know what you want until it's thrust upon you. I'm so glad I got this role. I also have all the health insurance, but DH can get it through his work if need be. I work about 4-6hrs per day 4 days a week "full time".

FFS. “Mommy tracked” at $350k. Read the room.

This is DCUM money, not money people actually make. You look at average DC area salaries for many high paying careers and they aren’t this high but on here you’d think everyone makes this amount.

Also, many on this site count things like leave and 401K matching to the HHI.

[Anonymous]

Defo keep a foot in. I took a break from working due to a lot of appointments a SN child required. Ex had an affair and announced family life was not what he expected and bailed. I had to scramble and in 2009 the timing was tough. Keep options open.

Sounds like you have a really good situation, OP. Just take in month by month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in the opposite situation and am starting to regret it but can’t seem to find a happy medium. DH and I both work big 60+ hour a week jobs and I am starting to feel like I want and need to be there more for our kids. Even with a nanny scheduling for two kids who need to be in opposite places at the same time is tough, and my older one needs more homework guidance. But I am starting to hate getting home, scrambling to make dinner and spending very little time as a family.

Problem is I can’t seem to find any flexible jobs in my field that have significantly fewer hours and don’t pay total crap. I don’t want to take a pay cut unless it’s a meaningful quality of life boost but most of what I find is a huge pay cut for not that much less work or stress.

If you're working a 60-hour job, you should have the nanny making dinner. Our nanny makes dinner, and it's so wonderful to come home, and dinner is ready.

[Anonymous]

I mommy tracked when the kids were very little. When they were around 10 & 8, I decided to ramp up and get into management. Im glad I did because I am not divorced, making more money that my ex. I was able to keep the house and carry most expenses.

[Anonymous]

This is a big question for me. Mostly reading to see how other people feel about it, I don't have advice. I have somewhat mommy-tracked myself, kids are 4 and 1. I am a fed gov atty and have turned down private sector opportunities and haven't thrown my hat in for management roles because I'm wary of taking on too much.

I do wonder if I will kick myself later for missing out, especially if it's hard to "ramp back up." On the other hand, I really can't handle much more.

[Anonymous]

I always wanted to know I could support myself and not rely on my spouse's salary alone. Happily, I've been married for 21 years.

I had the ability to work part-time when the kids were little and ramp up to full time when they hit middle school. Don't regret it. I needed the adult mental stimulation. It helps that I work in a job I love and can help others.