How to make traveling without DH fun

[Anonymous]

Since you’ve been combative with PPs here about making local friends and you haven’t tried for three years, I’m guessing you won’t take any of the good suggestions above. So to answer your original question, you have to take the kids’ opinions and interests into consideration when planning trips. The goal of every single trip shouldn’t be to expose them to culture you approve of. What do they actually enjoy doing? Do that.

[Anonymous]

I’m one of the PP and grew up in an area that didn’t have a lot going on. There were limited sports until middle or high school, I didn’t participate in any. We had Girl Scouts but it happened for an hour at school. A main social activity was the one hour religious ed class.

In some ways, it was a less stressful childhood than what my kids have, as we constantly run between games and birthdays. We had kids over to play or we went to their house. We exchanged phone numbers at school and then our parents would set it up. In middle school, we would get together and hang out in fields or just walk around. We weren’t bored.

[Anonymous]

Re: travel, plan for fun places that the kids want to go to, based on their interests. Ziplining in Costa Rica (or anywhere), swimming and snorkeling, amusement and water parks.

I can’t help feeling that you are living your life wrong. Life’s too short for your family to be this lonely and miserable. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

OP-outside of the school day, your kids only see you and DH? I could see where traveling with just parents wouldn't seem fun if it still socializing with you and/or DH, just in a different location.

[Anonymous]

I would travel to visit boarding schools for kids. Sounds like a great solution for your family.

[Anonymous]

Why not move?

Seriously, your dh is never home so why do you continue to live in Rural Town?
You sound lonely and miserable, your kids sound anti social and isolated, and your dh is working non stop abd traveling.

So go live in civilization or at least near grandparents or cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-outside of the school day, your kids only see you and DH? I could see where traveling with just parents wouldn't seem fun if it still socializing with you and/or DH, just in a different location.

We send them to visit family a lot. They go to some birthday parties. I'm not sure what you expect, since we've only been here 3 years and over two of that was married by covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not move?

Seriously, your dh is never home so why do you continue to live in Rural Town?
You sound lonely and miserable, your kids sound anti social and isolated, and your dh is working non stop abd traveling.

So go live in civilization or at least near grandparents or cousins.

Because we're married and this is where his job is. Not sure why this is so complex.

[Anonymous]

What is this “great job” that takes you to such an awful place? Is your DH a professor? A medical resident? No good business would be based in this place, plus most white collar jobs can be done remotely so I doubt it’s that.

I don’t think OP is a troll, but if she’s not it’s really sad what she is doing to herself or her kids. You’ve either got to bloom where you are planted OP (get out there, meet people and socialize) or you’ve got to move. What you are currently doing to your children is (unintentionally) abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you leave them home with your husband and go on trips alone?

Going away one weekend a month is a bit much if you ask me

Another radical militant feminine separatist rears her ugly head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is this “great job” that takes you to such an awful place? Is your DH a professor? A medical resident? No good business would be based in this place, plus most white collar jobs can be done remotely so I doubt it’s that.

I don’t think OP is a troll, but if she’s not it’s really sad what she is doing to herself or her kids. You’ve either got to bloom where you are planted OP (get out there, meet people and socialize) or you’ve got to move. What you are currently doing to your children is (unintentionally) abusive.

I AM getting them out. I've had literally two opportunities to meet people here (hi, covid), and nothing has panned out. I keep asking DC's if they want to have people over, and they say they're not close enough to anyone for that. They have school friends, and teachers have verified they're happy and engaged there, but...

So, yeah. They're happy and safe and full of joy. But I need them to know there's a larger world.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have a therapist that you talk to regularly? That will probably help you bc it seems like you have a lot going on right now that a good therapist would help with.

Also OP, like many others, I am so curious what your husband does for work. I'm assuming that he is either in medicine at a rural hospital, or he is an exec with a company like chicken processing or meat processing or something where there is a lot going on in person and it is rural.

[Anonymous]

I definitely WANT DH to travel with us (and he does) but our trips would be less stressful without him. He's much more tightly wound and I'm way more easy going.

Do the silly kid stuff, let them eat whatever, and be adventurous. They'll learn to love it.

[Anonymous]

Have the kids join 4H- it's really fun and educational. Do they have any interest in horseback riding? It's usually much cheaper in super rural areas than in places like NOVA or PA etc.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think you need to work on the friend thing. My kids (11 and 13) would greatly prefer to hang with a friend than me dragging to a destination where its the same faces they see everyday- is there anyway to meet local people? Kids are old enough to know what they want.

Have been working on it for 15 years. Hasn't happened.

Maybe the people where you live have figured out you think their way of life isn’t “normal” and took offense.

That would be pretty impressive, seeing as I work 60 hours a week from my house and literally never interact with them.

Please, we figured out your snobbery in one line over the internet. They know.

I. Have. Never. Met. A. Single. Person. Here.

Get over yourself.

Np, haven’t commented before, but how is this possible? My family moved from DC to a very rural area when I was eight. My parents met people through my school, through local organizations that they joined, and simply from running errands etc. How can you live somewhere for 15 years and not meet anyone? That sounds like a you problem, As my tween would say.

How would you meet someone running errands and get to know that? I understand chatting with a stranger in passing, but when people say they made their friends at the grocery store or at school drop off, I just don’t understand that. IME either people already know each other or they are rushing around to drop off or complete their errand and leave.