s/o If all the adult males are duds who will our DDs marry?!

[Anonymous]

Furthermore, we see time and time again immature & inadequate men rise to power. Elon Musk with his 10 kids who seems more interested in “owning the libs” than doing his job. Or Brett Kavanagh who CRIED in his confirmation hearing. Imagine has KBJ done that!

So spare me the men are victims. Point out to your sons the hypocrisy how men and treated with impunity. Teach your sons that they need to be equal partners and yeh, compete with women and minorities.

[Anonymous]

There is absolutely no evidence that men are becoming worthless faster than women. Women now can't cook like their moms, can't clean like their moms, and a lot of them have worse bodies than their mom does NOW (like a 30 year older woman has less body fat). What do men have to look forward to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

There is no "you go boy!" or "boys can code" etc in schools. It all focuses on girl power, and nothing on boy power. Teaching staff is majority female, with few male role models.

You can almost change boy and girl to certain races instead, and it's the same issue.. but do we blame parents of the underperforming race for not parenting, or is it a wider problem?

Pp you are playing into the belief that if we as a society value girls (which is a joke, just look at abortion) boys suffer. This is part of the scarcity myth and needs to stop. White boys and men ALWAYS get a pass. But now these guys have to put in a little more effort to complete with uppity women and POC. So they’re just going to retreat in a fantasy world. I don’t have the answer except we need to get our sons off screens and into real life while telling them they are equal with the rest of us. Not victims, not superior, equal.

It’s not an equal “competition” when girls have a strong sense of identity and boys are told they are “duds”. Do you ever call a woman a “dud”? And if you do, do you then expand that to how “women are these days”? Of course not. Boys are hearing this discourse and adjusting their goals accordingly.

How are women these days? Being told by their govt they they are 2nd class citizens. Sure they can be fierce, and strong, and smart but become pregnant unexpectedly, you’re a vessel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

I disagree. I have two older boys, both in STEM (one in med school) and it's still very very male dominated.

+1 The numbers bear this out by far. We don't need 'boys can code' groups--they still make up 75%+ of CS majors and engineering majors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what elite higher ed is really for.

This. I went to a tope ten LAC. None of my friends have married duds. Assortative mating.

[Anonymous]

In many more cases than our generation, a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an amazing son, so there is hope. The issue is that he has tons of women throwing themselves at him. So, for one like mine (resident specialist doctor, 6'2, athletic, green eyes, beautiful hair) there are lots of girls interested in dating him. If I were a single woman, I'd look at first generation immigrants. I'm from Central Europe and most of my friends married Central or Eastern European men. All were raised by working moms, and they are very hands on with the kids and household work. When I met my American husband, he didn't know how to cut a tomato, his mom did everything for them. He had no idea you can't keep unwrapped chicken in the fridge for 3 weeks and expect it to smell fine. In my neighborhood, I also see a lot of very successful Indian doctors (surgeons, chief cardiologists) married to white American women.

Amen! I am not from EE, but not too far off geographically, and my mom keeps saying she can’t believe how dependent teenagers are here. I saw this myself this summer. DC (14) spent the summer in Europe and got around everywhere by public transportation. All the kids she met do stuff on their own. Moms work, have careers. Heck, I went on a really adventurous trip to Greece when I was -6, just me and a friend. We figured it out. Greece was really poor and disorganized back in the early 90s, it took some effort finding the trains to Olympia and Delphi, and Athens. Americans would never let their kids do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an amazing son, so there is hope. The issue is that he has tons of women throwing themselves at him. So, for one like mine (resident specialist doctor, 6'2, athletic, green eyes, beautiful hair) there are lots of girls interested in dating him. If I were a single woman, I'd look at first generation immigrants. I'm from Central Europe and most of my friends married Central or Eastern European men. All were raised by working moms, and they are very hands on with the kids and household work. When I met my American husband, he didn't know how to cut a tomato, his mom did everything for them. He had no idea you can't keep unwrapped chicken in the fridge for 3 weeks and expect it to smell fine. In my neighborhood, I also see a lot of very successful Indian doctors (surgeons, chief cardiologists) married to white American women.

Amen! I am not from EE, but not too far off geographically, and my mom keeps saying she can’t believe how dependent teenagers are here. I saw this myself this summer. DC (14) spent the summer in Europe and got around everywhere by public transportation. All the kids she met do stuff on their own. Moms work, have careers. Heck, I went on a really adventurous trip to Greece when I was -6, just me and a friend. We figured it out. Greece was really poor and disorganized back in the early 90s, it took some effort finding the trains to Olympia and Delphi, and Athens. Americans would never let their kids do that.

^^ she stayed with her grandmother, and DD did lots of stuff for her. Grocery shopping, light cooking, helping her out. She’s very independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is absolutely no evidence that men are becoming worthless faster than women. Women now can't cook like their moms, can't clean like their moms, and a lot of them have worse bodies than their mom does NOW (like a 30 year older woman has less body fat). What do men have to look forward to?

My 14 year old can cook, clean and is a competitive athlete. But your sons are going to be misogynists, judging from what the dad is writing. They won’t find someone like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I do expect men to become obsolete. Or at least the “nuclear” family being the norm going away very soon. I have several close friends who are single mothers by choice. Very successful, educated women who also are beautiful, own their own homes, have a great set of friends/are very social, etc. They are seriously living their best lives once they decided to have kids on their own.

Cool, but how happy will they be when their sons are hiding in homes alone? Or their daughters yearn to be with a man who doesn’t exist. We can do better. Starting with getting rid of the nasty view that men have no worth.

Yes, and I guess we'll need to start convincing all these women to turn to high-risk jobs like firefighter, police officer, coal miner, truck driver, plumber, backhoe operator, etc. if men have dropped out. Men die on the job at roughly 10x the rate of women.

Do you think classic female jobs are that easy, physically and mentally? Nursing aides, home healthcare providers? These jobs require enormous physical strength and are mentally so draining that they lead to burnout at high rates. Yet, they often get paid minimum wage. The bodies of women working in these jobs give in sooner or later, just like those of construction workers. Yet they aren’t paid nearly as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is absolutely no evidence that men are becoming worthless faster than women. Women now can't cook like their moms, can't clean like their moms, and a lot of them have worse bodies than their mom does NOW (like a 30 year older woman has less body fat). What do men have to look forward to?

As a man, I’m always embarrassed to seek weak, loser posts like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

This. We have to invest in our sons and teach them how to do things around the house. I make mine clean including the bathroom, vacuuming, unloading the dishwasher. Then I've been teaching him how to bake and simple recipes like stir fry. He's 14, and by the time he becomes an adult he'll be ready to live on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God willing, they'll marry each other. If they decide to marry.

My younger DD is a lesbian. It’s a relief, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take away porn and easy sex, and men will rise to the occasion.

Not true. Witness China and Japan. In China, men in their 20s outnumber women by a long-shot due to the past one-child policy and a preference for boys. There's no easy sex and porn is blocked in China (but you can get around it of course). The men aren't dominating industry -- they're become hermits. They call it the "lie down generation" because they just want to stay in bed all day.

Same in Japan, and there's even a term for it hikikomori

It is seen in South Korea as well.

[Anonymous]

my DD is gay so will likely marry a woman, if she marries at all. Her dud father is disappointed with that prospect.