s/o If all the adult males are duds who will our DDs marry?!

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I do expect men to become obsolete. Or at least the “nuclear” family being the norm going away very soon. I have several close friends who are single mothers by choice. Very successful, educated women who also are beautiful, own their own homes, have a great set of friends/are very social, etc. They are seriously living their best lives once they decided to have kids on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

I disagree. I have two older boys, both in STEM (one in med school) and it's still very very male dominated.

Anecdotes aside, women now make up the majority of students applying and entering medical school nation-wide:
https://www.ama-assn.org/education/medical-school-diversity/women-medical-schools-dig-latest-record-breaking-numbers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

There is no "you go boy!" or "boys can code" etc in schools. It all focuses on girl power, and nothing on boy power. Teaching staff is majority female, with few male role models.

You can almost change boy and girl to certain races instead, and it's the same issue.. but do we blame parents of the underperforming race for not parenting, or is it a wider problem?

+1 I'm already seeing "girls run the world" messaging in pre-K but really it's boys who are falling behind and need attention in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I do expect men to become obsolete. Or at least the “nuclear” family being the norm going away very soon. I have several close friends who are single mothers by choice. Very successful, educated women who also are beautiful, own their own homes, have a great set of friends/are very social, etc. They are seriously living their best lives once they decided to have kids on their own.

Cool, but how happy will they be when their sons are hiding in homes alone? Or their daughters yearn to be with a man who doesn’t exist. We can do better. Starting with getting rid of the nasty view that men have no worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I do expect men to become obsolete. Or at least the “nuclear” family being the norm going away very soon. I have several close friends who are single mothers by choice. Very successful, educated women who also are beautiful, own their own homes, have a great set of friends/are very social, etc. They are seriously living their best lives once they decided to have kids on their own.

Cool, but how happy will they be when their sons are hiding in homes alone? Or their daughters yearn to be with a man who doesn’t exist. We can do better. Starting with getting rid of the nasty view that men have no worth.

Yes, and I guess we'll need to start convincing all these women to turn to high-risk jobs like firefighter, police officer, coal miner, truck driver, plumber, backhoe operator, etc. if men have dropped out. Men die on the job at roughly 10x the rate of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

Spoiled little boys become spoiled big boys. So please stop spoiling your sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

There is no "you go boy!" or "boys can code" etc in schools. It all focuses on girl power, and nothing on boy power. Teaching staff is majority female, with few male role models.

You can almost change boy and girl to certain races instead, and it's the same issue.. but do we blame parents of the underperforming race for not parenting, or is it a wider problem?

Pp you are playing into the belief that if we as a society value girls (which is a joke, just look at abortion) boys suffer. This is part of the scarcity myth and needs to stop. White boys and men ALWAYS get a pass. But now these guys have to put in a little more effort to complete with uppity women and POC. So they’re just going to retreat in a fantasy world. I don’t have the answer except we need to get our sons off screens and into real life while telling them they are equal with the rest of us. Not victims, not superior, equal.

[Anonymous]

Compete

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

There is no "you go boy!" or "boys can code" etc in schools. It all focuses on girl power, and nothing on boy power. Teaching staff is majority female, with few male role models.

You can almost change boy and girl to certain races instead, and it's the same issue.. but do we blame parents of the underperforming race for not parenting, or is it a wider problem?

Pp you are playing into the belief that if we as a society value girls (which is a joke, just look at abortion) boys suffer. This is part of the scarcity myth and needs to stop. White boys and men ALWAYS get a pass. But now these guys have to put in a little more effort to complete with uppity women and POC. So they’re just going to retreat in a fantasy world. I don’t have the answer except we need to get our sons off screens and into real life while telling them they are equal with the rest of us. Not victims, not superior, equal.

Sorry, but the heart, soul, and fuel of the pro-life movement is women. It is WOMEN that will never ever let abortion go unchecked. The media and blogosphere always conveniently forgets that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my concern with my young adult DD. She’s been with her BF for five years. He dropped out of college after three semesters, while she graduated. He works retail maybe 30 hours a week and plays video games most of the rest of the time. I had hoped he’d go back to school, but that doesn’t look likely.

But she says she’s happy with him, so I have to just wish them the best. But I do worry.

If he is a good person and makes her happy and they ever married and had kids, she can be the major breadwinner and he can give more time to kuds and the household.

IDK. Someone devoting this much time to video games and sloth probably won’t be a good SAHP.

Yup. SAHP isn't an easy part time gig.

Haha, it sure is once the kids are older than 2. Take them to playground and plop on bench with phone like all the moms I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my concern with my young adult DD. She’s been with her BF for five years. He dropped out of college after three semesters, while she graduated. He works retail maybe 30 hours a week and plays video games most of the rest of the time. I had hoped he’d go back to school, but that doesn’t look likely.

But she says she’s happy with him, so I have to just wish them the best. But I do worry.

If he is a good person and makes her happy and they ever married and had kids, she can be the major breadwinner and he can give more time to kuds and the household.

IDK. Someone devoting this much time to video games and sloth probably won’t be a good SAHP.

Yup. SAHP isn't an easy part time gig.

Haha, it sure is once the kids are older than 2. Take them to playground and plop on bench with phone like all the moms I see.

They do that because it’s the only time the kid is not in their face- they are distracted by the playground. When I was a SAHM of toddlers and preschoolers, playground time was the most reliable time to respond to emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

Spoiled little boys become spoiled big boys. So please stop spoiling your sons.

+1. This and untreated mental illness are responsible for these failure-to-launch men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my concern with my young adult DD. She’s been with her BF for five years. He dropped out of college after three semesters, while she graduated. He works retail maybe 30 hours a week and plays video games most of the rest of the time. I had hoped he’d go back to school, but that doesn’t look likely.

But she says she’s happy with him, so I have to just wish them the best. But I do worry.

If he is a good person and makes her happy and they ever married and had kids, she can be the major breadwinner and he can give more time to kuds and the household.

IDK. Someone devoting this much time to video games and sloth probably won’t be a good SAHP.

Yup. SAHP isn't an easy part time gig.

Lol it is very easy. It’s just repetitive and boring. There are no evals, pips, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

There is no "you go boy!" or "boys can code" etc in schools. It all focuses on girl power, and nothing on boy power. Teaching staff is majority female, with few male role models.

You can almost change boy and girl to certain races instead, and it's the same issue.. but do we blame parents of the underperforming race for not parenting, or is it a wider problem?

Pp you are playing into the belief that if we as a society value girls (which is a joke, just look at abortion) boys suffer. This is part of the scarcity myth and needs to stop. White boys and men ALWAYS get a pass. But now these guys have to put in a little more effort to complete with uppity women and POC. So they’re just going to retreat in a fantasy world. I don’t have the answer except we need to get our sons off screens and into real life while telling them they are equal with the rest of us. Not victims, not superior, equal.

It’s not an equal “competition” when girls have a strong sense of identity and boys are told they are “duds”. Do you ever call a woman a “dud”? And if you do, do you then expand that to how “women are these days”? Of course not. Boys are hearing this discourse and adjusting their goals accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off from the other thread about dud adults. I personally know of 5 young adult males who would rather play video games than have a career. Several want to just stay home. While DD’s gal pals in undergrad all have internships across the US, all their guy friends from the same college are just home hanging out, working at cold stone, they didn’t even try for internships. At this rate, there won’t be enough worthy males in our society for our DDs to marry.

OP, we as a nation should be very, very concerned about this trend. It’s not a joke because many of these lonely guys are getting pulled into dark web and turning their frustration about their status on women and POC. We as a society need to invest in Real Life social engagements for our kids, especially our sons. And No, I don’t blame the education sector. I blame Right wing news telling our white sons they are being “replaced.”

It’s scary and dangerous.

Agreed. This fuels lots of dangerous groups, and probably the 1/6 rioters were among this group.

I do put some blame on schools at least at K-12 level. There's been such a focus on girls -- getting them to study STEM etc -- which is good of course -- that they lost focus of boys and the boys are falling behind. If it's a few boys, I'd say blame the parents, but it's such a large group that the cause is greater than just parenting.

Nah. It’s because American parents have such dreadfully low expectations of boys. They let them get away with doing no chores and just sitting in their rooms playing video games all day. Parents tend to insist girls do chores and behave well.

Although I guess teachers may hold boys to the same low standards. Eve as a kid I was aware that teachers expected girls to behave better than boys and they held us to those standards.

There is no "you go boy!" or "boys can code" etc in schools. It all focuses on girl power, and nothing on boy power. Teaching staff is majority female, with few male role models.

You can almost change boy and girl to certain races instead, and it's the same issue.. but do we blame parents of the underperforming race for not parenting, or is it a wider problem?

Pp you are playing into the belief that if we as a society value girls (which is a joke, just look at abortion) boys suffer. This is part of the scarcity myth and needs to stop. White boys and men ALWAYS get a pass. But now these guys have to put in a little more effort to complete with uppity women and POC. So they’re just going to retreat in a fantasy world. I don’t have the answer except we need to get our sons off screens and into real life while telling them they are equal with the rest of us. Not victims, not superior, equal.

It’s not an equal “competition” when girls have a strong sense of identity and boys are told they are “duds”. Do you ever call a woman a “dud”? And if you do, do you then expand that to how “women are these days”? Of course not. Boys are hearing this discourse and adjusting their goals accordingly.

BS. I have NEVER called my husband or son a dud. If you want to blame someone, blame Tucker Carlson and his white man victimhood / Great Replacement theory. Blame Ben Shapiro and Joe Rogan and Alex Jones. Blame the ha ha meme troll mentality that has infected American society. No one is calling men duds.