Reasonable expectations for a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yeah, I like to read a book with my coffee, why not? It is not like I "need" it but I do enjoy it a few times a week. Do you think I should ask my employer if I can do their dishes, during nap, or what? I never had a contract with household duties. I enjoy the child and this is where my expertise is. I was not hired to unload a dishwasher. And the nannies I meet at the playgrounds mostly not doing household stuff either, though all look overworked. I do not believe the posts criticizing a nanny are from actual nannies. Nannies usually stick for one another.

Holy crap, you’re the laziest nanny I’ve ever come across!

This is not typical for a good nanny. It’s not a job for people who prioritize working as little as possible and relaxing at work. It’s a physical job where you should be engaged while you are being paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent who works from home here - why is having a WFH parent a disadvantage? Is it because the parent micromanages? Or because the children prefer the parent? I assumed this was an advantage - a second set of hands if needed, someone to give the nanny 5 to 10 min breaks during the day, etc. What is the downside y’all are referring to?

(Genuine q because I wonder if I’m inadvertently making it harder on my nanny by working from home)

Absolutely not. Most experienced nannies will not accept a job where the parent is WFH. It’s only a benefit to you. It’s a negative for the nanny, for both the reasons you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent who works from home here - why is having a WFH parent a disadvantage? Is it because the parent micromanages? Or because the children prefer the parent? I assumed this was an advantage - a second set of hands if needed, someone to give the nanny 5 to 10 min breaks during the day, etc. What is the downside y’all are referring to?

(Genuine q because I wonder if I’m inadvertently making it harder on my nanny by working from home)

Absolutely not. Most experienced nannies will not accept a job where the parent is WFH. It’s only a benefit to you. It’s a negative for the nanny, for both the reasons you describe.

I was able find one who is fine with it but it works more smoothly because I literally do not come downstairs ever unless the kids and nanny are out of the house at the park or whatever. Kids and nanny don’t see me until 4pm when I come downstairs to relieve her and she goes home.

My friend also works from home but only has one child, a baby, and nurses/puts the baby down for a nap twice a day. Seems to be working out fine so far

[Anonymous]

Parent here. Haven't ever had any trouble with a candidate on WFH (I am completely WFH and my husband can whenever he wants, which is 90% of the time). We just make sure to have a separate office on our property - ours is a tiny home in our backyard which is a double lot since we are DC - as well as a basement apartment. So, we're ALWAYS in one of those, and the nanny and kids get the house, undisturbed.

If you're in the nanny's way then yes, sure, that's tough.

[Anonymous]

I hate the term “chores” when used in context with childcare.

A Nanny has one purpose and one purpose only.
To ensure your precious child(ren) are fed, dry (if in diapers), comfortable, well-rested, clean, educated, entertained + content.

These are all components of basic childcare that are absolutely necessary for all children to thrive.
On top of all of this, if you want your Nanny to also do laundry, organize clothes, etc. then you better be paying a very good rate.

Of course any good Nanny will always clean all dishes/bottles used during her stay as well as have all the toys and puzzles picked up before she leaves.

If you come home to a happy, well cared for child as well as a neat, tidy home then those things are what really should matter in the end.
Not if Nanny folded all the child’s laundry, organized their drawers and/or emptied all the trash out.

Chores are for house cleaners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term “chores” when used in context with childcare.

A Nanny has one purpose and one purpose only.
To ensure your precious child(ren) are fed, dry (if in diapers), comfortable, well-rested, clean, educated, entertained + content.

These are all components of basic childcare that are absolutely necessary for all children to thrive.
On top of all of this, if you want your Nanny to also do laundry, organize clothes, etc. then you better be paying a very good rate.

Of course any good Nanny will always clean all dishes/bottles used during her stay as well as have all the toys and puzzles picked up before she leaves.

If you come home to a happy, well cared for child as well as a neat, tidy home then those things are what really should matter in the end.
Not if Nanny folded all the child’s laundry, organized their drawers and/or emptied all the trash out.

Chores are for house cleaners.

That seems silly and inflexible--and these types of nannies are the ones I interviewed who seem to stay with a family only 1 year. Which is fine if you don't mind regular job searching/switching. But if you want to stay with one family for many years, unless they have 4 kids, there comes a time that they go to preschool/school, and basic childcare doesn't take up 100% of an 8 hour day.

[Anonymous]

Having the same nanny with one family for several years usually benefits only the child and the parents, and rarely benefits the nanny.

The one family that I helped for eight years had only one child, but still paid me for a full 40 hours per week even when school started and I was needed only 3 or 4 hours a day. The parents essentially doubled my hourly rate in order to provide the stability of care that I provided. Their investment has proven to be a wise one, as this was many years ago. The early years are the most important years for lifelong success and happiness.

[Anonymous]

So many of the "nannies" posting on this board (I do question whether some are actually nannies or not) are nuts about what "good" nannies do.

I've had 3 college educated, english speaking nannies. With each hiring, we've had maaaaany interested candidates and no shortage of great options. We now have 3 kids and have never lost a nanny for reasons other than logistics (we moved from chicago to dc, dc nanny had her own baby) or had anyone report being unhappy, threaten to quit, or generally seem unhappy. Both DH and I work from home.

100% of them have been willing and expected to cook for the kids / family, do the kids laundry, pick-up from the day etc. They've also all gone above and beyond in cleaning and organizing other areas unasked, folding clean adult laundry I haven't gotten to (unasked and not in their way), grocery shopping and other household help. They have never reported any trouble getting the kid stuff done and have all found time to do additional things I never expected of them.

We have always paid on the books and an increasing rate with the increasing number of kids and market, but not wild rates.

So if you're a nanny and are able to get by being super lazy and that's what you prefer, congrats you do you. If you're a parent hiring a nanny - don't fall for the line that all nannies are this way, that this is what "good" nannies aspire to, or that caring for one 2mo makes it impossible to do other things. I mean FFS - our nanny (and i) can individually care for a 3mo, 3yo, and 5yo and get everyones lunches together, feedings, done, laundry done etc. If someone can't handle that with only one baby you need to keep looking.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the WFH negativity. In our fields in DC, everyone began working from home full-time in March 2020 and has either continued or only started going in to the office 3-4 times a week. So, almost everyone we know with a nanny has been full-time WFH for over 2 years. And the nannies have not quit en masse...We do try not to get overly involved/leave our offices a lot, but I don't bar myself in my office all day. It's not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re hiring our first nanny in October and wondering what reasonable expectations are for her position. It will be one two month old. We’re able to pay $30 an hour for 40 hours a week. We have a housekeeper so no cleaning beyond baby stuff (laundry, keeping closets and drawers up to date, putting away toys and making fresh baby food/meals when she’s ready). We do want a fluent English speaker (reading and writing) with some college and experience.

I work from home and will feed the baby. Uv

I have a real problem with anyone being late and needless drama. Reliability is paramount.

Okay, I'm going to say what others are dancing around and that is that you sound very controlling and you work from home and will be nursing the baby. This is a scenario of micromanaging from you and is a huge red flag.

Punctuality is important but unless your nanny lives in walking distance from your house she will be late once in awhile. Traffic, weather conditions change every day and from your post you don't appear to allow any flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of the "nannies" posting on this board (I do question whether some are actually nannies or not) are nuts about what "good" nannies do.

I've had 3 college educated, english speaking nannies. With each hiring, we've had maaaaany interested candidates and no shortage of great options. We now have 3 kids and have never lost a nanny for reasons other than logistics (we moved from chicago to dc, dc nanny had her own baby) or had anyone report being unhappy, threaten to quit, or generally seem unhappy. Both DH and I work from home.

100% of them have been willing and expected to cook for the kids / family, do the kids laundry, pick-up from the day etc. They've also all gone above and beyond in cleaning and organizing other areas unasked, folding clean adult laundry I haven't gotten to (unasked and not in their way), grocery shopping and other household help. They have never reported any trouble getting the kid stuff done and have all found time to do additional things I never expected of them.

We have always paid on the books and an increasing rate with the increasing number of kids and market, but not wild rates.

So if you're a nanny and are able to get by being super lazy and that's what you prefer, congrats you do you. If you're a parent hiring a nanny - don't fall for the line that all nannies are this way, that this is what "good" nannies aspire to, or that caring for one 2mo makes it impossible to do other things. I mean FFS - our nanny (and i) can individually care for a 3mo, 3yo, and 5yo and get everyones lunches together, feedings, done, laundry done etc. If someone can't handle that with only one baby you need to keep looking.

You sound like the employer from Hades.

[Anonymous]

$30/hr sounds generous for one child

You will have a lot of good options and can definitely find someone to do light housekeeping during naps and feedings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of the "nannies" posting on this board (I do question whether some are actually nannies or not) are nuts about what "good" nannies do.

I've had 3 college educated, english speaking nannies. With each hiring, we've had maaaaany interested candidates and no shortage of great options. We now have 3 kids and have never lost a nanny for reasons other than logistics (we moved from chicago to dc, dc nanny had her own baby) or had anyone report being unhappy, threaten to quit, or generally seem unhappy. Both DH and I work from home.

100% of them have been willing and expected to cook for the kids / family, do the kids laundry, pick-up from the day etc. They've also all gone above and beyond in cleaning and organizing other areas unasked, folding clean adult laundry I haven't gotten to (unasked and not in their way), grocery shopping and other household help. They have never reported any trouble getting the kid stuff done and have all found time to do additional things I never expected of them.

We have always paid on the books and an increasing rate with the increasing number of kids and market, but not wild rates.

So if you're a nanny and are able to get by being super lazy and that's what you prefer, congrats you do you. If you're a parent hiring a nanny - don't fall for the line that all nannies are this way, that this is what "good" nannies aspire to, or that caring for one 2mo makes it impossible to do other things. I mean FFS - our nanny (and i) can individually care for a 3mo, 3yo, and 5yo and get everyones lunches together, feedings, done, laundry done etc. If someone can't handle that with only one baby you need to keep looking.

You sound like the employer from Hades.

well i guess all of our long term nannies would disagree. but they sound like much better people than you so i guess it worked out for us all

[Anonymous]

We have a fantastic nanny. We were just gone for an extra long labor day weekend. We contractually pay her for the time (of course) and there was no expectation that she works if we are out of town. Yet she came (on her own volition!) and organized all the kid's clothes for fall, set up a book and toy rotation system, restocked the kitchen with all our staples, organized our pantries, cleared out water bottles that had gotten junkie and did a target run to pick up some more, and many other things. Basically spent 1.5 days of the 3 days she had while we were gone doing a ton of extra things as a kind surprise.

Before the nasty nannies imply that we must be a horribly slobby and disorganized household that she felt that she absolutely had to do this to be able to function - we are not at all. She's a hard-working and kind person that wants to go above and beyond in her job and we give her good pay, appreciation, and bonuses for it.

That is what a great nanny looks like. they're out there, like at any job you'll find the people that care about being great at their work (assuming they like their job / employer) and the people that dial it in for a pay check acting like they're the victims

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a fantastic nanny. We were just gone for an extra long labor day weekend. We contractually pay her for the time (of course) and there was no expectation that she works if we are out of town. Yet she came (on her own volition!) and organized all the kid's clothes for fall, set up a book and toy rotation system, restocked the kitchen with all our staples, organized our pantries, cleared out water bottles that had gotten junkie and did a target run to pick up some more, and many other things. Basically spent 1.5 days of the 3 days she had while we were gone doing a ton of extra things as a kind surprise.

Before the nasty nannies imply that we must be a horribly slobby and disorganized household that she felt that she absolutely had to do this to be able to function - we are not at all. She's a hard-working and kind person that wants to go above and beyond in her job and we give her good pay, appreciation, and bonuses for it.

That is what a great nanny looks like. they're out there, like at any job you'll find the people that care about being great at their work (assuming they like their job / employer) and the people that dial it in for a pay check acting like they're the victims

Good for your doormat! Personally she sounds like a damn fool who makes it harder for professionals who realize when the family is vacationing that’s nanny’s time off.