Reasonable expectations for a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I like to read a book with my coffee, why not? It is not like I "need" it but I do enjoy it a few times a week. Do you think I should ask my employer if I can do their dishes, during nap, or what? I never had a contract with household duties. I enjoy the child and this is where my expertise is. I was not hired to unload a dishwasher. And the nannies I meet at the playgrounds mostly not doing household stuff either, though all look overworked. I do not believe the posts criticizing a nanny are from actual nannies. Nannies usually stick for one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yeah, I like to read a book with my coffee, why not? It is not like I "need" it but I do enjoy it a few times a week. Do you think I should ask my employer if I can do their dishes, during nap, or what? I never had a contract with household duties. I enjoy the child and this is where my expertise is. I was not hired to unload a dishwasher. And the nannies I meet at the playgrounds mostly not doing household stuff either, though all look overworked. I do not believe the posts criticizing a nanny are from actual nannies. Nannies usually stick for one another.

You…don’t wash the child’s dishes after making them meals? At this point I have to believe you are trolling. I do stick up for other nanny’s but saying you deserve hours of couch time to relax on an 8hr shift makes us look bad. It’s a real job and it takes hard work, it shouldn’t be sitting around relaxing for a fourth of the time.

OP. Do disregard this poster because this is not typical. Being a nanny includes playing with the child AND helping to clean up after the child. What you are asking for is not unreasonable but nannys who are burnt out and not equipped for the job do exist so avoid them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...gosh, I do not have a 2 month old. The OP does. I have a 13 month old who just started walking. So, I am not lazy but it does take toll on you to be in the pool with baby for 1,5 hrs, so do not grudge me my well deserved afternoon rest. I also spend some time talking to parent, that would be another 10-15 min. And I keep baby diary. My employer does not want me to do any household tasks, i hope it is is OK with you all ladies.

I mean, you don’t sound particularly energetic or even that able bodied. I also go to the pool with my charges and am not knocked on my butt for hours from the exertion. Are you and the toddler doing laps? You are lucky that you found an employer with low standards who will accommodate this.

What in the world are you going to do when the child is 2-4 and you need to run with them for hours?!

[Anonymous]

I disagree that just because a Nanny needs some rest when her charge is napping means that she needs to go to a lab and get her blood numbers checked??

Many parents take a nap while their child naps.
If a Nanny is doing a full day, if she can rest for a little bit then when child wakes up, the Nanny will be refreshed + reenergized for the rest of her shift.
Happy Nanny = Happy Child = Happy Parents.
Win win.

I have never been asked to do child’s laundry.
I have had jobs in the past where families assign daily chores.
The problem with this is that the stress of completing the chores of the day unfortunately distract me from having fun with the child.
Or I may sacrifice some play time to perform chores in order to get them done so I can relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
Or I might do them earlier so when the child is napping I can eat lunch in peace or simply catch up on emails/phone calls.

I flourish best in jobs where my only focus is on the child.
Of course I wash any dishes/bottles used, pick up any toys played with as well as sweep up any floor crumbs or empty the diaper pail out if I see that it is full.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At $30 you should be very clear that you expect punctuality. Good babies will be turned off by the fact that you work at home.

No, not all good nannies. I was hesitant about taking a job with a work-from-home- mom but it’s worked out great (3.5 years and counting). It all depends on the parent

Yours is a rarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that just because a Nanny needs some rest when her charge is napping means that she needs to go to a lab and get her blood numbers checked??

Many parents take a nap while their child naps.
If a Nanny is doing a full day, if she can rest for a little bit then when child wakes up, the Nanny will be refreshed + reenergized for the rest of her shift.
Happy Nanny = Happy Child = Happy Parents.
Win win.

I have never been asked to do child’s laundry.
I have had jobs in the past where families assign daily chores.
The problem with this is that the stress of completing the chores of the day unfortunately distract me from having fun with the child.
Or I may sacrifice some play time to perform chores in order to get them done so I can relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
Or I might do them earlier so when the child is napping I can eat lunch in peace or simply catch up on emails/phone calls.

I flourish best in jobs where my only focus is on the child.
Of course I wash any dishes/bottles used, pick up any toys played with as well as sweep up any floor crumbs or empty the diaper pail out if I see that it is full.

Nannies should have a lunch break while their charges are napping. But even APs do things like children's laundry, keeping their rooms neat, etc.

[Anonymous]

Parent who works from home here - why is having a WFH parent a disadvantage? Is it because the parent micromanages? Or because the children prefer the parent? I assumed this was an advantage - a second set of hands if needed, someone to give the nanny 5 to 10 min breaks during the day, etc. What is the downside y’all are referring to?

(Genuine q because I wonder if I’m inadvertently making it harder on my nanny by working from home)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your expectations are reasonable and fairly standard in the nanny world. Make everything clear upfront and write a contract.

And definitely talk about both staying fluid. If the baby has colic and needs to be held upright all day and walked around, obviously nothing else is going to get done.

And a note to you as the mother and employer who is working from home: if you plan to breastfeed your baby (at the breast) for every feeding, you better be available when your baby is hungry. It doesn’t matter what kind of zoom meeting you’re in or what kind of catastrophe is happening in your work - the baby comes first. If this isn’t always possible and your first priority then start the nanny on giving the baby one bottle of pumped milk every day and leave her another pumped bottle for emergencies.

+1. Have the nanny give the baby at least one bottle a day (hopefully your baby has already started on a bottle...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent who works from home here - why is having a WFH parent a disadvantage? Is it because the parent micromanages? Or because the children prefer the parent? I assumed this was an advantage - a second set of hands if needed, someone to give the nanny 5 to 10 min breaks during the day, etc. What is the downside y’all are referring to?

(Genuine q because I wonder if I’m inadvertently making it harder on my nanny by working from home)

Some parents rush in any time the child cries. This undermines the nanny's efforts to bond with the child *and* if there's misbehavior, undermines her authority.

Parents who are in and out can cause havoc unintentionally, especially if the children are used to the parent's sole attention.

Micromanaging is a problem, if it happens.

5-10 minutes is a decent bathroom break, but only if she can plan for it. Otherwise, it's more of a nuisance.

Some children sneak away when the nanny focuses on another child, and the parent gets mad at the nanny for not keeping then children out of their office or from banging on the door.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t punctuality and reliability kind of a given? For any job. Seriously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that just because a Nanny needs some rest when her charge is napping means that she needs to go to a lab and get her blood numbers checked??

Many parents take a nap while their child naps.
If a Nanny is doing a full day, if she can rest for a little bit then when child wakes up, the Nanny will be refreshed + reenergized for the rest of her shift.
Happy Nanny = Happy Child = Happy Parents.
Win win.

I have never been asked to do child’s laundry.
I have had jobs in the past where families assign daily chores.
The problem with this is that the stress of completing the chores of the day unfortunately distract me from having fun with the child.
Or I may sacrifice some play time to perform chores in order to get them done so I can relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
Or I might do them earlier so when the child is napping I can eat lunch in peace or simply catch up on emails/phone calls.

I flourish best in jobs where my only focus is on the child.
Of course I wash any dishes/bottles used, pick up any toys played with as well as sweep up any floor crumbs or empty the diaper pail out if I see that it is full.

Nannies should have a lunch break while their charges are napping. But even APs do things like children's laundry, keeping their rooms neat, etc.

Ha ha. My charges never sleep!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent who works from home here - why is having a WFH parent a disadvantage? Is it because the parent micromanages? Or because the children prefer the parent? I assumed this was an advantage - a second set of hands if needed, someone to give the nanny 5 to 10 min breaks during the day, etc. What is the downside y’all are referring to?

(Genuine q because I wonder if I’m inadvertently making it harder on my nanny by working from home)

Some parents rush in any time the child cries. This undermines the nanny's efforts to bond with the child *and* if there's misbehavior, undermines her authority.

Parents who are in and out can cause havoc unintentionally, especially if the children are used to the parent's sole attention.

Micromanaging is a problem, if it happens.

5-10 minutes is a decent bathroom break, but only if she can plan for it. Otherwise, it's more of a nuisance.

Some children sneak away when the nanny focuses on another child, and the parent gets mad at the nanny for not keeping then children out of their office or from banging on the door.

Another WFH parent. I encourage the nanny to leave the youngest at home while napping to leave the house and spend time with the older two. And it often gets me extra cuddles. We do have issues (my husband is loud and can be annoying sometimes), but overall I kind of think it’s at least a little bit of a win for the nanny- although I could see feeling uncomfortable if you feel like the wfh is “monitoring” them.

[Anonymous]

I think with covid and nannies being scarce, and generally with childcare crisis being obviously the thing, I think it is Ok to give nannies some slack, as long as the kids are taken care of and she is reliable, I do not care about laundry and stuff. These are extreme times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yeah, I like to read a book with my coffee, why not? It is not like I "need" it but I do enjoy it a few times a week. Do you think I should ask my employer if I can do their dishes, during nap, or what? I never had a contract with household duties. I enjoy the child and this is where my expertise is. I was not hired to unload a dishwasher. And the nannies I meet at the playgrounds mostly not doing household stuff either, though all look overworked. I do not believe the posts criticizing a nanny are from actual nannies. Nannies usually stick for one another.

Holy crap, you’re the laziest nanny I’ve ever come across!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t punctuality and reliability kind of a given? For any job. Seriously

It’s never a given in any job. Our nanny has never once been late or called in sick but my assistant at my job and one project manager are constantly late and sick frequently! And they’re both young while our nanny is 65!