These “breaks” stress me out!

[Anonymous]

I think this is perfect:

You graciously accept her offer for noon but let her know you have to leave by 12:45 at the latest for an appointment. When she calls to say she'll be late you cheerfully thank her and say you'll just take the kids with you.

[Anonymous]

Change your mindset. Assume she isn't coming and do what you would do if that was the case. Like you said - put on a movie, give them snacks, etc. When the movie's over, do what you would normally do when that's over and just live your life. If she shows up, then you can just have some extra time to yourself. I feel this situation in my bones. Almost everyone I know is habitually late and flaky. I've just learned to expect the bare minimum and I never plan on them anymore. If that means we are at the grocery store when they eventually show up - so be it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I could have written this post myself. But I'll add in - tons of passive aggressive comments once she arrives, comments on food I feed my son, how she never gets to see my son, how she was a stay at home mom and "it was so much better," comments on our lifestyle, etc. I stopped the "breaks" because it was becoming bad for my mental health. I told my husband (who also works a ton, like it sounds like your husband does) that all dealings and plans with his parents go through him moving forward. I.E. If his mom was coming over, he'd have to be home to manage her. I wasn't going to do it myself.

Interested to read others' feedback in this post. But I can totally relate to feeling like "Why is this stressing me out so much," and feeling like you're crazy since it's such a small thing, but I think for me it felt like I was doing a favor for her to come, yet she thought she was helping ME... and it really just felt like one more person/thing I couldn't rely on.