Can women really love men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is seriously one of the most depressing thread questions ever. I absolutely love everything about DH- nothing to do with his money, job, salary or material possessions. I like his brain, his kindness, how hardworking he is and how much fun we have together. (Although I guess those are all things he brings to the table?) Married 15 years

This is not uncommon at all. We all bring something to the table, whether it’s a good sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, ambition, etc etc etc. It seems to me that some men are under the impression that because women are often pursued for sex, even if they are horrible people, they are valued more. I do not see this as being loved or genuinely valued at all.

Yes. A man can hate your guts and still sleep with you.

But I maintain that a lot of men will not find a women sexually desirable at all--like, won't sleep with her under any circumstances--and if a woman isn't sexually desirable they might as well not exist to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is seriously one of the most depressing thread questions ever. I absolutely love everything about DH- nothing to do with his money, job, salary or material possessions. I like his brain, his kindness, how hardworking he is and how much fun we have together. (Although I guess those are all things he brings to the table?) Married 15 years

This is not uncommon at all. We all bring something to the table, whether it’s a good sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, ambition, etc etc etc. It seems to me that some men are under the impression that because women are often pursued for sex, even if they are horrible people, they are valued more. I do not see this as being loved or genuinely valued at all.

Yes. A man can hate your guts and still sleep with you.

But I maintain that a lot of men will not find a women sexually desirable at all--like, won't sleep with her under any circumstances--and if a woman isn't sexually desirable they might as well not exist to them.

I don’t doubt that you are correct but even if he did have sex with someone he found gross and undesirable that would have nothing to do with unconditional love.

I’m really struggling to understand where posters are seeing examples of women being unconditionally loved where men aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is seriously one of the most depressing thread questions ever. I absolutely love everything about DH- nothing to do with his money, job, salary or material possessions. I like his brain, his kindness, how hardworking he is and how much fun we have together. (Although I guess those are all things he brings to the table?) Married 15 years

This is not uncommon at all. We all bring something to the table, whether it’s a good sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, ambition, etc etc etc. It seems to me that some men are under the impression that because women are often pursued for sex, even if they are horrible people, they are valued more. I do not see this as being loved or genuinely valued at all.

Yes. A man can hate your guts and still sleep with you.

But I maintain that a lot of men will not find a women sexually desirable at all--like, won't sleep with her under any circumstances--and if a woman isn't sexually desirable they might as well not exist to them.

I don’t doubt that you are correct but even if he did have sex with someone he found gross and undesirable that would have nothing to do with unconditional love.

I’m really struggling to understand where posters are seeing examples of women being unconditionally loved where men aren’t.

I just made that comment to suggest that some women are invisible; not cat called, not pursued, not hit on, etc. You are right that none of it has to do with unconditional love. d

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are not loved unconditionally is the answer. Not like women and children are. Even the best examples here the woman would lose attraction if the guy started acting whiny or had a mental health crisis or some other thing.

Women are loved unconditionally? By whom? Every post by an unhappy wife results in “but did you get fat” and “how often do you put out” comments. SAHMs are called lazy leeches. WOHMs are bad mothers and neglectful wives.

Exactly. When are women loved unconditionally? When they are sick and husbands leave them, when men go through middle age turmoil and leave family, when men believe the women become too fat/too old/not enough sex/add any other trope and leave them and family?

It would be good if the OP can clarify and answer some of these questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is seriously one of the most depressing thread questions ever. I absolutely love everything about DH- nothing to do with his money, job, salary or material possessions. I like his brain, his kindness, how hardworking he is and how much fun we have together. (Although I guess those are all things he brings to the table?) Married 15 years

This is not uncommon at all. We all bring something to the table, whether it’s a good sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, ambition, etc etc etc. It seems to me that some men are under the impression that because women are often pursued for sex, even if they are horrible people, they are valued more. I do not see this as being loved or genuinely valued at all.

Yes. A man can hate your guts and still sleep with you.

But I maintain that a lot of men will not find a women sexually desirable at all--like, won't sleep with her under any circumstances--and if a woman isn't sexually desirable they might as well not exist to them.

I've seen men stand at street corners and call out to the ugly and fat women how disgusting they were. So they existed to them, but like an enemy or something.

[Anonymous]

if a woman loves a man unconditionally she's treating him like a child.

[Anonymous]

Nobody is loved unconditionally, there is always going to be some superficial requirement. You will never see an attractive women with a short ugly broke guy and you will never see a good looking successful man with an ugly obese woman (unless she got fat later on). As a man you either have to be physically attractive, successful, or both if you want to date attractive women.

[Anonymous]

Nobody should love another adult unconditionally. That would be unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody is loved unconditionally, there is always going to be some superficial requirement. You will never see an attractive women with a short ugly broke guy and you will never see a good looking successful man with an ugly obese woman (unless she got fat later on). As a man you either have to be physically attractive, successful, or both if you want to date attractive women.

Superficial implies unneeded. Making money in a capitalistic modern society is the way that people have homes save for old age, and use things during their lifetime. Health is a priority for many people because that means that it's more likely you will live longer and have better mental capacity as well as being attractive sexually. None of this is uneeded. People can place too much emphasis and ignore other virtues, but it's not unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

And sure if you already have tons of money you might love someone who doesn't have any, but that would require you to feel secure with the money you have already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody is loved unconditionally, there is always going to be some superficial requirement. You will never see an attractive women with a short ugly broke guy and you will never see a good looking successful man with an ugly obese woman (unless she got fat later on). As a man you either have to be physically attractive, successful, or both if you want to date attractive women.

Superficial implies unneeded. Making money in a capitalistic modern society is the way that people have homes save for old age, and use things during their lifetime. Health is a priority for many people because that means that it's more likely you will live longer and have better mental capacity as well as being attractive sexually. None of this is uneeded. People can place too much emphasis and ignore other virtues, but it's not unnecessary.

You are giving human beings way too much credit.

Lots of people make life work in this capitalist world with very little money. People in generational poverty often marry others who are dealing with generational poverty. They aren't excluded from loving and being loved.

And you're really stretching things with the health argument. The vast majority of men would choose a skinny woman with a beautiful face but who never worked out and drank two glasses of wine a day over a woman who worked out daily and age vegetables but who had an unattractive face and a BMI on the high end of normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible for a woman to love a man independent of his status or wealth or what he brings to the table?

What a stupid question. Go back to tik tok.

[Anonymous]

If in your early 20’s it’s all about potential. If In your early 40’s……….

[Anonymous]

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, no they can not love a man in the way the man believe he should be loved. In other words, the man will never be loved "unconditionally."
Men are objectified as success objects.

That's absurd. Men can be loved for who they are by women who are authentic and can take care of themselves. Women who are gold diggers or climbers will be with a man for his money or status.