Is it wrong to want an inheritance early?

[Anonymous]

Yes it is wrong - it is not your money. It is not your dh’s money. He knows that - you don’t. Buy what you can afford. I don’t know how big your house is now, but you will likely be happy with something less than $5,000 square feet. We make more than you and have a 2,500 sq ft house and are completely comfortable. We will be able to retire without any inheritance. We have explained to our kids that my father needed his money for his care so there was none left - fine. Dh’s mom is more well off but we have always saved bc we have assumed we will receive nothing as we hope she lives long and spends it all, as she should - it is her money. My mil knows our thinking and knows we want her to enjoy her money and spend. It is very obnoxious of you to expect your in law to provide money for a want, rather than a need.

[Anonymous]

Your parents don’t have enough money to already start giving it away. You’ll be lucky if you inherit $250k considering there are 3 other siblings.

I’m an only child and my parents have $3 million. I assume they will spend half of this on expensive nursing care. I’ll be thrilled if I get a million and I’m counting on NOTHING. I certainly wouldn’t want my parents to give me money now and possibly end up short in 15 years.

[Anonymous]

If this isn't a troll, the MIL is probably not at all interested in giving her inheritance to someone who is destined to be an ex-wife/former DIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this isn't a troll, the MIL is probably not at all interested in giving her inheritance to someone who is destined to be an ex-wife/former DIL

If I saw my DIL couldn’t manage on $400K, there is NO way in hell I’d gift over part of my savings. Beyond the entitlement, the lack of money management skills is appalling. No one like that is ever content with just that house or that new car, etc. There will always be the next thing. If this isn’t a troll, I have second hand embarrassment for OP. This post also goes to show that even idiots can get lucky and make good money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, to be fair, what OP is describing w/r/t housing is a real crisis in this country. Very hard to move with mortgage rates rising and home prices still very high. People are staying put and for those who want/need to move, there are very few options.

So for OP it would be nice if someone could help with a downpayment in this crazy market. I get it. But yeah, it's not gonna happen. And that $6m has already dropped. I wouldn't count on it bering there in the future. Your MIL sounds like she's living a good life and she'll need much of that to live it.

If op's hhi were something like $120k and they were trying to buy something in this area, yea, there's room for sympathy. But not at $400k, sorry.

[Anonymous]

You could borrow against your future inheritance. It’s basically an unrecorded, interest free loan. In your mother’s will it would stipulate that you receive 400K less unless the amount you borrowed was paid back. This is pretty common, especially when one child receives a large financial gift but the other child doesn’t have a need for it.

The parent has to create a document ie letter stating that the 400K is a gift. If it’s written as a contractual loan then it factors into debt to income. By addressing it in the will, it basically protects other beneficiaries in case the borrower does not pay it back.

[Anonymous]

I am curious about how many blowhards on here railing against OP have received money as a yearly gift and/or tuition money and/or down payment money as a gift. OP is just calling it something different.

I agree with PP about asking for a loan vs asking for the early inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Such a good troll post - almost believable for DCUM.

[Anonymous]

"Is it wrong to wish my mother-in-law would just hurry up and die already so I can get her money?"

Yes, Karen. Yes, it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious about how many blowhards on here railing against OP have received money as a yearly gift and/or tuition money and/or down payment money as a gift. OP is just calling it something different.

I agree with PP about asking for a loan vs asking for the early inheritance.

Well I'm assuming that those other people received it as a gift and not an inheritance. Apparently, her MIL wants her to have the money after she is gone. Major difference.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are trash. That's it. That's all you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could borrow against your future inheritance. It’s basically an unrecorded, interest free loan. In your mother’s will it would stipulate that you receive 400K less unless the amount you borrowed was paid back. This is pretty common, especially when one child receives a large financial gift but the other child doesn’t have a need for it.

The parent has to create a document ie letter stating that the 400K is a gift. If it’s written as a contractual loan then it factors into debt to income. By addressing it in the will, it basically protects other beneficiaries in case the borrower does not pay it back.

This doesn’t account for the many years of growth that 400k would have added to the estate. Not fair to the others.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and i say this as someone who got a partial inheritance early ($500k) from my living parent who is very ill and overseas. I come from a culture where parents sacrifice a lot for their kids. In turn, it is expected that kids take care of their parents in old age. (My sibling lives with my parent). I feel guilty and have not brought myself to spend it on a new home, though we came close. Like op, our current house is fine and very convenient, but we could have gone bigger and fancier. My inlaws will not be giving us an early inheritance, though they have plenty. They live off the dividends. That is their right. Lusting after what others have is not a good look. Try gratitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious about how many blowhards on here railing against OP have received money as a yearly gift and/or tuition money and/or down payment money as a gift. OP is just calling it something different.

I agree with PP about asking for a loan vs asking for the early inheritance.

If you can't see the difference between the older generation looking at their accumulated wealth and deciding "giving a yearly gift/tuition money/down payment assistance to our kids/grandkids is how we want to spend this" and this DIL looking at her MIL's accumulated wealth (note: I can't believe no one has called her out on saying MIL "inherited" it from her deceased husband, FOH with that attempt to delegitimize her right to her own money) and saying "giving me money for a nicer/bigger house is how you should want to spend your money" then you're a clueless as OP.

- blowhard who has never gotten a dime from anyone but realizes you're drawing a false equivalence

[Anonymous]

I think the op is not genuine here.