Is it wrong to want an inheritance early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I work very hard and expect to pull in around $400k next year between the two of us.

We would like to move to larger house in an nicer neighborhood, but we can’t financially pull it off even though we work hard and save pretty well.

We have two kids who could benefit from a larger home.

DH’s mom is a widow, nearly 80 and lives in a nice but not super fancy retirement community.

She’s fit and healthy, takes care of herself, sees her grandkids maybe four times per year but doesn’t get super involved and likes her ample free time.

When her husband passed, she inherited $5M, which has grown to $6M over the past few years. When she dies, the plan is to divide up the estate between DH and his three siblings, provide some for her own sibling who is even older than she is and give an ample amount away to charity.

With two young kids and costs for child care/food/gas going through the roof, it would be nice to get some of the inheritance early from her to help provide a stronger cushion and help with a down payment.

We know we will inherit around $1M eventually but it could be another 20 years from now.

DH is adamant about buying a bigger house on earned income instead of her financial gifts but it will take several years to do that and by then we might not want a bigger house and a yard since the kids will be teenagers by then.

Is it wrong to wish we could receive more inheritance now to live out our dreams?

I have seen a few peers get financial help with a down payment to secure the large single family home that they could not afford on their own.

Yes. It's greedy and gross and selfish. Stop it.

[Anonymous]

I wish my mother in law was still alive. She died in the fall. With the inheritance (and selling our place) we could buy a new larger house. I'd rather have her.

[Anonymous]

As a single mom making $20k in California (and I have a bachelors degree...) this post is just making my eyes roll into the back of my head.
I am getting my inheritance early in the form on my parents helping me with rent.
This is pretty much the only way I would say it makes sense.
You make 400k wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a single mom making $20k in California (and I have a bachelors degree...) this post is just making my eyes roll into the back of my head.
I am getting my inheritance early in the form on my parents helping me with rent.
This is pretty much the only way I would say it makes sense.
You make 400k wtf

Of not on

[Anonymous]

I understand why you're asking. Don't listen to all these rude people. They'd probably be wondering the same thing.

But that said, I don't think I'd ask. It's not your money now, it's hers. You could always ask her for a loan and pay her interest so that it's a good deal for her too. You never know, maybe she'll want to give you the money early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I hope my MIL would pass already instead of dragging out her meaningless existence and spending every penny of family inheritance.

No wonder so many families struggle without help from parents.

Those old ladies live for 40 years in retirement doing nothing for the society, just sitting in front of TV watching Fox News and voting against any progress in this country.

And what have YOU contributed really?

I work and raise children, I employ other people, I contribute to society.
I work hard to save, but I plan to pass on the bulk of it to the kids, not spend it all on myself like Boomers did.

The problem with American society is that everyone only thinks for themselves. In Eastern cultures they think about future generations. In US the attitude is “I don’t care what happens after I die, I’ll just use it all up now - money, natural resources, etc.”. It’s a mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I hope my MIL would pass already instead of dragging out her meaningless existence and spending every penny of family inheritance.

No wonder so many families struggle without help from parents.

Those old ladies live for 40 years in retirement doing nothing for the society, just sitting in front of TV watching Fox News and voting against any progress in this country.

You mother gave us a sweetheart like you. She must be so proud of the cretin she birthed. If I were your MIL, I would give everything I have to your least favorite charity in your name and I would send $15,000 a year to Fox News, again in your name. Fox would then have your name and address. It would drive you crazy that all this money was given away but not to you. You are a bitter old crone.

Don’t worry. She doesn’t have any money. She followed the track of a stupid Republican housewife. She had plenty of children because the church told her to, but didn’t have much income. “Jesus will provide” idea did work out, so they didn’t have money for any of kids’ college. She’s living off of her Social Security. There will only be credit card bills after she goes.

DH will have gotten nothing from his parents, ZERO.

But at least she spent 40 years sitting in front of TV and helping her pedo church and voting against any progress.

Because of old a-holes like these US is a decade behind in environmental protection measures, has disastrous health care system and bad quality education, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I hope my MIL would pass already instead of dragging out her meaningless existence and spending every penny of family inheritance.

No wonder so many families struggle without help from parents.

Those old ladies live for 40 years in retirement doing nothing for the society, just sitting in front of TV watching Fox News and voting against any progress in this country.

You mother gave us a sweetheart like you. She must be so proud of the cretin she birthed. If I were your MIL, I would give everything I have to your least favorite charity in your name and I would send $15,000 a year to Fox News, again in your name. Fox would then have your name and address. It would drive you crazy that all this money was given away but not to you. You are a bitter old crone.

Don’t worry. She doesn’t have any money. She followed the track of a stupid Republican housewife. She had plenty of children because the church told her to, but didn’t have much income. “Jesus will provide” idea did work out, so they didn’t have money for any of kids’ college. She’s living off of her Social Security. There will only be credit card bills after she goes.

DH will have gotten nothing from his parents, ZERO.

But at least she spent 40 years sitting in front of TV and helping her pedo church and voting against any progress.

Because of old a-holes like these US is a decade behind in environmental protection measures, has disastrous health care system and bad quality education, etc.

It must be awful being you

[Anonymous]

Shame on you OP

[Anonymous]

It isn't wrong to want things, but it is wrong to think that you OUGHt to get want you want, from others who have what you want. It is theirs, and you are not entitled to it.

That said, I did ask my Dad for a small advance on inheritance to help get us into a house. It wasn't like, gimme it all right now. It was like, this modest amount will help us secure good terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I'm following this thread from the UK.

Do you not pay inheritance tax in the US?

In the UK it is not uncommon (not saying it happens all the time) for an elderly, widowed parent to give money to their children as an 'early inheritance'. The law says if the parent lives at least another 7 years from the date the money was given then there is no inheritance tax to pay.

There is a sliding scale of tax. If the parent dies the day after they gave their children the money then 40% inheritance tax is payable by the recipient. If the parent dies a week before the 7-year period is up, then the amount of inheritance tax payable is only a fraction of the 40%.

So this is like incentive to keep the m well cared for? I like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I'm following this thread from the UK.

Do you not pay inheritance tax in the US?

In the UK it is not uncommon (not saying it happens all the time) for an elderly, widowed parent to give money to their children as an 'early inheritance'. The law says if the parent lives at least another 7 years from the date the money was given then there is no inheritance tax to pay.

There is a sliding scale of tax. If the parent dies the day after they gave their children the money then 40% inheritance tax is payable by the recipient. If the parent dies a week before the 7-year period is up, then the amount of inheritance tax payable is only a fraction of the 40%.

But what happens if no early inheritance? The parent dies, kids inherit, what is the tax then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I work very hard and expect to pull in around $400k next year between the two of us.

We would like to move to larger house in an nicer neighborhood, but we can’t financially pull it off even though we work hard and save pretty well.

We have two kids who could benefit from a larger home.

DH’s mom is a widow, nearly 80 and lives in a nice but not super fancy retirement community.

She’s fit and healthy, takes care of herself, sees her grandkids maybe four times per year but doesn’t get super involved and likes her ample free time.

When her husband passed, she inherited $5M, which has grown to $6M over the past few years. When she dies, the plan is to divide up the estate between DH and his three siblings, provide some for her own sibling who is even older than she is and give an ample amount away to charity.

With two young kids and costs for child care/food/gas going through the roof, it would be nice to get some of the inheritance early from her to help provide a stronger cushion and help with a down payment.

We know we will inherit around $1M eventually but it could be another 20 years from now.

DH is adamant about buying a bigger house on earned income instead of her financial gifts but it will take several years to do that and by then we might not want a bigger house and a yard since the kids will be teenagers by then.

Is it wrong to wish we could receive more inheritance now to live out our dreams?

I have seen a few peers get financial help with a down payment to secure the large single family home that they could not afford on their own.

One word comes to mind, vulture. I see why you’re mother in law spends little time around you.

[Anonymous]

You can want whatever you like, OP. But you can’t get it, shouldn’t ask, and absolutely would be wrong to resent not getting it.

[Anonymous]

Hard cringe, OP. Ugh.