Buy Nothing Groups Vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, I had no idea there were unspoken rules about this. I just picked up a nice little bookshelf from someone in my local buy nothing group. Can't remember what I posted, but I assumed she was just giving it to first-come, first-serve. And of course I thanked her when I picked it up. To me this was of mutual benefit. She had no use for it; I can refinish it and it saved me from buying an expensive piece.

There are literally rules, not unspoken ones. I've been in 5 groups and they all have the rules and admin notes pinned.

True and our moderators will gently remind you of them. That said, there aren't any rules about thank yous but anytime someone does a gratitude post it gets lots of likes, especially if it's a hot item or big wish fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My vent here - freecycle group that I participate in made a new rule - you can't even ask to be considered if you didn't have something up earlier. And in the rules now they said you can be banned for even asking.... Can't wrap my head around it

THAT'S obnoxious! Not everyone has things to give away. Maybe they just moved and already purged and need things for their new home. Maybe they can't afford the items they're requesting and actually NEED it. I'm happy to give it to someone who truly needs it. They don't need to prove anything to anyone by offering something in return.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some of these groups sound so rude!

[Anonymous]

Man my group is generally so kind. It’s been a nice way to meet people too. I wish everyone had a nice group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vent here - freecycle group that I participate in made a new rule - you can't even ask to be considered if you didn't have something up earlier. And in the rules now they said you can be banned for even asking.... Can't wrap my head around it

THAT'S obnoxious! Not everyone has things to give away. Maybe they just moved and already purged and need things for their new home. Maybe they can't afford the items they're requesting and actually NEED it. I'm happy to give it to someone who truly needs it. They don't need to prove anything to anyone by offering something in return.

Op here and that rule goes against the spirit of buying nothing. It’s not a swap group. Some people in those groups really furnish their homes with these items that are given away, so they literally buy nothing. That’s the point!

If you were brave enough, and willing to speak up then you should speak out against that. What your group is encouraging is basically trading items.

https://buynothingproject.org/about

a nutshell:
BuyNothing offers people a way to give and receive, share, lend, and express gratitude through a worldwide gift economy network in which the true wealth is the web of connections formed between people. We believe that communities are more resilient, sustainable, equitable, and joyful when they have functional gift economies.

Principles:
We believe our hyper-local groups strengthen the social fabric of their communities, and ensure the health and vitality of each member.
We come from a place of abundance ~ not scarcity.
We believe in abundance, we give, we ask, we share, we lend and we express gratitude.
We are a gift economy, not a charity. We see no difference between want and need, waste and treasure.
We do not buy, sell, trade, barter, or otherwise exchange money for items or services.
We measure wealth by the personal connections made and trust between people.
We value people and their stories and narratives above the ‘stuff.’
We are inclusive at our core.
We value honesty and integrity in all our interactions.
We view all gifts as equal; the human connection is the value.
We believe every community has the same wealth of generosity and abundance.

Looking for Buy Nothing 101 in your language? Click here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, I had no idea there were unspoken rules about this. I just picked up a nice little bookshelf from someone in my local buy nothing group. Can't remember what I posted, but I assumed she was just giving it to first-come, first-serve. And of course I thanked her when I picked it up. To me this was of mutual benefit. She had no use for it; I can refinish it and it saved me from buying an expensive piece.

There are literally rules, not unspoken ones. I've been in 5 groups and they all have the rules and admin notes pinned.

No rules posted in mine other than to be polite and let people know if you've changed your mind.

[Anonymous]

I’ve started listing for free on FB Marketplace instead. I choose people who seem committed to coming and avoid people who ask lots of follow up questions, usually when that info is already in my post! Those are the people who don’t show or say « never mind the measurements don’t work. » But yes, I’m annoyed by people who act like they are doing me a favor.

[Anonymous]

I just had someone ask me if I could deliver a piece of furniture I was giving away. I didn’t even bother responding.

[Anonymous]

Those people are the worst!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just had someone ask me if I could deliver a piece of furniture I was giving away. I didn’t even bother responding.

Ugh. These people are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a reflection of the culture of this area. My sister lives in a smaller town somewhere else in the US and said she almost always gets a photo sent to her of the item in its new home or being used with a message about how grateful they are to have it. I have not had this happen a single time here - not that I expect it, but the difference is interesting.

Oh, that's too bad. I've gotten several photos of items I gave away being used by the recipient, usually outgrown toddler dresses being worn or an outgrown toy being used (one photo was a little arm proudly holding her new toy for the stroller ride home). It's always fun and a little touching to see those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had someone ask me if I could deliver a piece of furniture I was giving away. I didn’t even bother responding.

Ugh. These people are the worst.

Some people are really struggling and don’t understand social engagement. Someone I gifted things too needed more social service support than anything. I ended up giving her rides a few times but had to stop responding when she began asking for financial help for household items. She was in a tough place. Some members are in deep need and come from trauma backgrounds, they really don’t know they are over asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seek for cheap rather than buy nothing, I feel people are more serious that way. And I always give priority to who can pick up very soon (and if multiple can, I just go in order of response) and state that in my post.

I do this too. I find that people are more serious about picking up an item when they feel like they are getting a deal.

People who flake on pick ups are the worst. Especially when you see them begging for things on several other posts.

+2. I love BNG. I primarily use it to get rid of stuff easily. If multiple folks have responded to an item, I think it is pretty rude to ghost the offer is you are chosen to receive the item.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vent here - freecycle group that I participate in made a new rule - you can't even ask to be considered if you didn't have something up earlier. And in the rules now they said you can be banned for even asking.... Can't wrap my head around it

THAT'S obnoxious! Not everyone has things to give away. Maybe they just moved and already purged and need things for their new home. Maybe they can't afford the items they're requesting and actually NEED it. I'm happy to give it to someone who truly needs it. They don't need to prove anything to anyone by offering something in return.

Op here and that rule goes against the spirit of buying nothing. It’s not a swap group. Some people in those groups really furnish their homes with these items that are given away, so they literally buy nothing. That’s the point!

If you were brave enough, and willing to speak up then you should speak out against that. What your group is encouraging is basically trading items.

https://buynothingproject.org/about

a nutshell:
BuyNothing offers people a way to give and receive, share, lend, and express gratitude through a worldwide gift economy network in which the true wealth is the web of connections formed between people. We believe that communities are more resilient, sustainable, equitable, and joyful when they have functional gift economies.

Principles:
We believe our hyper-local groups strengthen the social fabric of their communities, and ensure the health and vitality of each member.
We come from a place of abundance ~ not scarcity.
We believe in abundance, we give, we ask, we share, we lend and we express gratitude.
We are a gift economy, not a charity. We see no difference between want and need, waste and treasure.
We do not buy, sell, trade, barter, or otherwise exchange money for items or services.
We measure wealth by the personal connections made and trust between people.
We value people and their stories and narratives above the ‘stuff.’
We are inclusive at our core.
We value honesty and integrity in all our interactions.
We view all gifts as equal; the human connection is the value.
We believe every community has the same wealth of generosity and abundance.

Looking for Buy Nothing 101 in your language? Click here.

PP said this was Freecycle, not BN

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seek for cheap rather than buy nothing, I feel people are more serious that way. And I always give priority to who can pick up very soon (and if multiple can, I just go in order of response) and state that in my post.

I do this too. I find that people are more serious about picking up an item when they feel like they are getting a deal.

People who flake on pick ups are the worst. Especially when you see them begging for things on several other posts.

+2. I love BNG. I primarily use it to get rid of stuff easily. If multiple folks have responded to an item, I think it is pretty rude to ghost the offer is you are chosen to receive the item.

I give people 24 hours to follow up again when they ghost then offer it to someone else.